Make Main Character Choices

My brother-in-law has a Nintendo emulator with a suite of rad games. By the time I finished unloading the car, my 7-year-old, Eden, had already turned the TV on and loaded up The Legend of Zelda, A Link to the Past.

I’ve waited to introduce her to video games, and was super excited when she picked one of the best games of all time.

The game opens with Link in bed, and “voiceover” text calling for help.

“Help me… I’m in the dungeon of the castle.”

It cuts to who you assume is your dad saying, “stay here, I’ll be back in the morning.”

Then it’s game on.

What struck me was how intently she read each line — how responsive she was to save the princess, and how she got playing.

She didn’t just sit on the edge of the bed waiting for Link’s dad to come back. She didn’t ask what to do.

She started playing, because she got the single driving truth of every game: you’ve got to play

Life’s a game you should enjoy playing

My friend, Adam Fairhead, is notorious for gamifying everything, and on a zoom call we had last month, he reminded me that life’s a game, but it’s not a game you play to win.

Play this game like it’s your favorite game.

The game you would play on repeat. The game you want our kids to play. The game you play for fun—because you like it. This is the game you would play 50 times because it’s fun.

The whole point of playing the game is to play the game. Leaderboards and speed runs are party tricks, but games are supposed to be fun.

When you play the game like that, the world quiets down. All the chasing success and stuff quiets down. You’re left with fun and, surprisingly, meaning.

I brought you here to remind you that football is a fucking game that you used to play as a fucking kid because it was fun. Even when you were getting your fucking legs broken or your fucking feelings hurt. So fuck your feelings, fuck your overthinking, fuck all that bullshit. Go back out there and have some fucking fun. — Roy Kent, Ted Lasso

You’re not an NPC

Despite the joy of gaming, a lot of you play like life is a sentence. You know the formula…

Wake up Eat Work Eat Home Eat Stream Something Sleep Repeat 5x

Sleep extra Numb with food, booze, and sex.

Eden would move on from that game in twenty seconds: snooze fest!

Games remind us that life is supposed to be enjoyable, meaningful, and full of action.

You’re the Main Character, make Main Character choices

Imagine, for a minute, you’re Link. Sitting on the bed, your dad just left with a sword and shield—what do you do?

Do you go back to sleep, or do you go for it?

You go for it!

When you turn on a gaming console, the point is to play. To try things, explore, and have fun. You don’t turn the game on and expect boredom, so why do you treat life like that?

The main character of every game since Atari’s “Adventure” makes choices. Bold choices, world changing choices.

Main Character choices

That’s the point of playing a game. And like it or not, you’re in the greatest game ever created. You’re the Main Character. You could keep playing the game Eden would quit, or you could start playing at something different.

The game I described above, the one most people live on repeat, it’s a life that’s devoted to making other people’s dreams come true. Start playing the game so its fun and meaningful.

You don’t have to quit your 9–5 or go “monk mode,” that’s escaping the game.

It’s about choices. And the first choice you have to make is to take your life seriously. Part of the fear we all face is the fear that if we start taking life seriously—start taking responsibility for our outcomes—we might fail (or succeed).

Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and therapist said,

Don’t aim at success — the more you aim at it and make it a target the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Man’s Search For Meaning

Take the pressure off. Stop worrying about being successful or failing and start having some fun with the one life you’ve got.

Then, and here’s the tricky part, stop choosing the easy stuff. Start choosing things that matter to you and move you toward a life of meaning.

To take the game analogy too far, imagine as if you’re playing the largest sandbox game ever created. You get to choose what matters, and you get to choose where you go in life. The opinions other people try and heap on to your life don’t matter. Your parent’s expectations for your life don’t matter. This is your game.

It doesn’t matter why it matters, it only matters that you.

We never question why we like games, we like them

Some people play RPGs, some play adventure games, etc.

Your goal isn’t to wonder why you’re playing the game or why you like what you like. Why what you like doesn’t need to conform to what other people say you should like. Choose your game and play.

What’s the alternative?

When I was working in LA I had a personal training client who was morbidly obese, in constant pain, and on a strict regimen of pills she needed to take. But she came and worked out with me three days a week.

When I asked her why she keeps going she said, “It’s simple. Either I workout with you, or I live like this. There is no alternative.”

It’s the same for you and me. What’s our alternative? Keep hating our jobs and only looking forward to when we get to pass out at night, or we can start playing the game.

Regardless of your circumstances you can start playing and having fun. Because you, my friend, are the main character—it’s time to make main character choices.

I’ll leave you with lyrics from the holy trinity, Rush,

If you choose not to decide

You still have made a choice

Free Will, Rush