Make a New Friend-You May Be So Glad That You Did

Friends are essential no matter your age.

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

I needed a new friend — I was missing my old buddies.

We all need friends. They are vital to a happy life.

Blessedly, these past few years have been filled with new relationships. It’s an unexpected windfall at my age.

Making friends after one retires can be difficult, especially after retiring and moving to a new community in another state.

My first few years in Arizona were missing that girlfriend we all need. After living in California for over 40 years, I had developed and nurtured quite a few incredible friendships. Leaving them was difficult.

Fortunately for me, this isn’t a permanent separation as I travel to Marin County often, every month or two. I get to see my old buddies, my beloved son, Nick, and my sister, Michele.

Shortly after moving to Arizona, my husband introduced me to his friends and their wives. However, our friendship outside of being “couples” didn’t develop. They were well-established in AZ and already had close friends. Several still worked, and others lived a distance from our neighborhood.

Voila’!

Being brave wasn’t easy as I consider myself an introvert, although it may not appear that way. I “pretend” I’m outgoing and introduce myself or say hello to an acquaintance when the opportunity presents itself.

Thankfully, 2 1/2 years after moving to AZ, I introduced myself to Shannon, a neighbor, and she has been a gift. I don’t know how I would’ve managed if we hadn’t met and become fast friends.

A friend is one who knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow. — William Shakespeare.

Lucky Me

Once again, I ventured out of my safe harbor and got involved in new activities despite my fear and apprehension.

Namely, I signed up for lessons through our local Park & Rec to learn the up-and-coming sport of pickleball. I have met a wonderful group of women, we exchanged phone numbers, and now they are my friends.

We are playing as often as we can, usually three or more times a week for some of us. We are all about the same age, give or take a few years, and the crazy love of this sport has bonded us.

I am so thrilled to have this group that has made my life fuller and happier.

I encourage you to step outside your haven if you identify as shy or introverted. You may be pleasantly pleased by the results.

Most towns and cities have Park and Recreation associations offering various sports activities and creative classes, such as painting, drawing, mosaics, etc. There the possibility of making a new friend with similar interests is high.

Volunteering is another way of meeting people with the same mindset. Do not let shyness or fear stop you.

Photo by saeed karimi on Unsplash

Research has proven that maintaining meaningful friendships has an incredibly positive impact on our health. Friends are an excellent source for boosting your mental and physical health and reducing stress.

Don’t you feel relieved after sharing a problem with a good friend? She doesn’t need to say much — often, her listening is enough.

When Shannon and I hike with our dogs in the early morning, we unload on one another, sharing whatever is currently on our minds. We fill each other in on our good news, as well.

We don’t need a boatload of people to satisfy our friendship needs. Friends are more about how you resonate and understand one another than the number of friends. You know when you have the right ones.

According to the website HealthPrep.com:

There are three elements for measuring the health of friendship, including positivity, as in there is more good than bad; consistency, and are you both making an effort to connect, vulnerability, and how much you are sharing with your friend. Experts agree that for us to feel we are experiencing a positive friendship, there must be five positive feelings for every negative emotion we have regarding our friendships.

I am lucky to have these women in my life. Each and everyone is a gift I cherish.

I am sure you value and love your dear friends, too.

If you do need a friend — please reach out to another. They may need you, as well.