MacBook Pro is the Chuck Norris of Computing

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Abstract

</div> </div> </a> </div>I immediately pictured him shouldering his way through a crowded airport terminal and having some boob jostle past, running the laptop bag into the wall. Out of the bag comes a cowboy boot in a roundhouse kick clearing the terminal as slow motion shards of wall shower down on the crowd.This was not the first time. Here are a few other incidents that have occurred.<ul><li>MacBook Pro doesn’t use Google. It stares down the Internet until it gets the information it wants.</li><li>If you spell MacBook Pro in Scrabble, you win. Forever.</li><li>In the Beginning there was nothing … then MacBook Pro started PID1.</li><li>When God said, “Let there be light!” MacBook Pro said, “Press F2”</li><li>If MacBook Pro were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another MacBook Pro and they ran an infinite loop, they would both win.</li><li>A dinosaurs once walked on a MacBook Pro keyboard. It resulted in kill -9 /all dinosaurs.</li><li>MacBook Pro backlights the keyboard with its own brilliance.</li><li>When MacBook Pro runs ‘Street Fighter II’ video game, every button does a roundhouse kick.</li><li>There is no sleep mode on a MacBook Pro. It waits.</li><li>Scissors beats paper, paper beats rock, MacBook Pro beats all three at the same time.</li><li>On the 7th day, God rested. MacBook Pro took over.</li><li>MacBook Pro does not use spell check # Options . If it misspells a word, Oxford will change the spelling.</li><li>The MacBook Pro calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools MacBook Pro.</li><li>MacBook Pro counted to infinity. Twice.</li><li>MacBook Pro can sit on your lap and kick ass at the same time.</li><li>MacBook Pro wins the game of Connect Four in three moves.</li><li>Champions are the breakfast of MacBook Pro.</li><li>MacBook Pro does not search and replace words, it seeks and destroys them.</li><li>When MacBook Pro writes, it makes paper bleed.</li><li>MacBook Pro can strangle you with a cordless mouse.</li><li>MacBook Pro once got a virus. The virus lost.</li><li>When MacBook Pro enters a room it doesn’t turn the lights on. It sets dark to NULL.</li><li>MacBook Pro knows exactly where Waldo and Jimmy Hoffa are.</li><li>You don’t set time on MacBook Pro, it changes time for you.</li><li>MacBook Pro can divide by zero.</li><li>When MacBook Pro does division, there are no remainders.</li><li>It takes MacBook Pro 2ms to watch 60 Minutes.</li></ul>If you haven’t used the MacBook Pro yet, better hurry. MacBook Pro is keeping a list.P.S. MacBook Pro says you need to <a href="https://inkbear.medium.com/membership">sign up for Medium</a> or MacBook Pro will sign up for YOU. <a href="https://inkbear.medium.com/membership">https://inkbear.medium.com/membershi</a>p</article></body>

There’s computing and then there’s bad ass computing

MacBook Pro boots YOU! Photo by karsten madsen from Pexels, modified by the author.

Louis Petrik says in his story on why developers love the MacBook Pro, “I once accidentally bumped into a wall with the MacBook — which only resulted in a small hole in the wall.”

I immediately pictured him shouldering his way through a crowded airport terminal and having some boob jostle past, running the laptop bag into the wall. Out of the bag comes a cowboy boot in a roundhouse kick clearing the terminal as slow motion shards of wall shower down on the crowd.

This was not the first time. Here are a few other incidents that have occurred.

MacBook Pro doesn’t use Google. It stares down the Internet until it gets the information it wants.

If you spell MacBook Pro in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

In the Beginning there was nothing … then MacBook Pro started PID1.

When God said, “Let there be light!” MacBook Pro said, “Press F2”

If MacBook Pro were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another MacBook Pro and they ran an infinite loop, they would both win.

A dinosaurs once walked on a MacBook Pro keyboard. It resulted in kill -9 /all dinosaurs.

MacBook Pro backlights the keyboard with its own brilliance.

When MacBook Pro runs ‘Street Fighter II’ video game, every button does a roundhouse kick.

There is no sleep mode on a MacBook Pro. It waits.

Scissors beats paper, paper beats rock, MacBook Pro beats all three at the same time.

On the 7th day, God rested. MacBook Pro took over.

MacBook Pro does not use spell check. If it misspells a word, Oxford will change the spelling.

The MacBook Pro calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools MacBook Pro.

MacBook Pro counted to infinity. Twice.

MacBook Pro can sit on your lap and kick ass at the same time.

MacBook Pro wins the game of Connect Four in three moves.

Champions are the breakfast of MacBook Pro.

MacBook Pro does not search and replace words, it seeks and destroys them.

When MacBook Pro writes, it makes paper bleed.

MacBook Pro can strangle you with a cordless mouse.

MacBook Pro once got a virus. The virus lost.

When MacBook Pro enters a room it doesn’t turn the lights on. It sets dark to NULL.

MacBook Pro knows exactly where Waldo and Jimmy Hoffa are.

You don’t set time on MacBook Pro, it changes time for you.

MacBook Pro can divide by zero.

When MacBook Pro does division, there are no remainders.

It takes MacBook Pro 2ms to watch 60 Minutes.

If you haven’t used the MacBook Pro yet, better hurry. MacBook Pro is keeping a list.

Humor

MacBook Pro is the Chuck Norris of Computing

There’s computing and then there’s bad ass computing

Why Are Many Developers So in Love With the MacBook?

My assessment after using a MacBook Pro for two years.