Luncheon of the Boating Party
An unwanted reunion leads to an unexpected result
I finally agreed to do it, Monkey wouldn’t sit with anyone else. Yes, I know, funny name for a dog, but Affenpinschers have always reminded me of little monkeys. The chosen dog had to be a toy breed, stereotyped as a breed that posh people owned. Out of my selection, taking into account behaviour, (most of all patience!) as well as appearance, Monkey was my choice for this particular job. Even then, I still wasn’t meant to get involved, I was strictly ‘behind the scenes.’ I’m no actress, I’m not even an extra, I’m an animal trainer, but on this occasion, Monkey wasn’t playing ball with anyone else.
It served that snooty cow right. When I walked into the set, my face fell. Bethany Powell had been the ‘Draco Malfoy’ to my ‘Harry Potter’ for as long as I could remember. My entire school life misted over by a black cloud that was Bethany and her tribe. Trust her to be working as an extra on something as big as this, while successfully building a portfolio for acting. To this day I struggle with wearing my hair loose after all those years of that cow creeping up behind me in class and ruffling up my frizzy mane even more to the amusement of the whole class. A lot of cackling always followed everything Bethany said to me. She would stand boldly, hand on one hip, swishing her own super, sleek, straight locks of hair and always have some new nickname, some new words of poison for me.
“Be careful, you’ll be sick in Pippa’s hair. Wouldn’t make much difference.” That was to one of the more stupid members of her tribe who was feeling hungover. But the whole of the girls changing rooms heard and sniggered. Always she tried to play to as big an audience as possible.
Of course, she would be bosom buddies with those ‘Sticks and Drones,’ group who’s looks got them further than their rather mediocre voices. Ever since rising to fame on that stupid fix of a singing show to find the next big pop star, they seemed to be going for world domination. It wasn’t just Bethany and every other clone from the popular clan, even all my friends followed their every move religiously, All except me. Well, I was just too busy, I was trying to build my career, I had grafted, I had completed all manner of hideous jobs, all leading to this.
Hearing that one of my little dogs was required for this, meaning that I was to be required to assist was a fantastic achievement. And hearing that THAT group were the stars of the ad… well I may not have been a fan, but even I knew this was huge. And even I had to admit, they were a good-looking bunch.
But then I saw Bethany. I wanted to turn my tail and run. She hadn’t changed a bit, although was that a nose job? That horrible, smug, bitchy sneer was the same.
“Pippa Crowe.” Any on-looker would have thought nothing of it, but I noted the sneer, the tone, she was still the bully she always was. Monkey sensed it too, a star in his own right, for he wouldn’t sit for her and I had to suddenly become very busy searching in my bag to attempt to disguise my laughter. The joy was smacked off my face when they told me I had to be in the ad holding Monkey while Bethany sat at the other end of the table entertaining both Mark and Cameron from the group. At least my frizzy mane was concealed by the huge hats that were part of the costume. Maybe I could use the posh parasol that was the finishing touch to conceal my face. I didn’t like being on this side of the camera, especially resembling Mary Poppins in the Jolly Holiday sequence. I couldn’t pull off any kind of style; I would never fit that mould that allowed me entry to Bethany and her tribe.
Meanwhile, Shereen, one of Bethany’s many followers had to gaze admiringly at Mikey, not a difficult task for her, and I was stuck with Frank behind me, arm on my chair.
I think all of us girls were cursing at meeting the group dressed in very long skirts that disguised our legs and any kind of shape, as well as the flowery hats! I wouldn’t know for sure, as we didn’t speak to each other, but I know I felt like a schoolgirl in this forced ‘uniform.’
Even if we were friends, both of them were far too busy flirting with those guys. Showing off about acting offers they had been given. Monkey’s farts were enough to keep them away from me, but I was used to this kind of treatment.
However, as we sat around the table, smart and sophisticated, me cursing and hoping they were going to be paying me well, I could sense Cameron trying to catch my eye. Out of the four, he had
the most personality, I had decided in the few minutes I had been in their company. Mikey said nothing, Frank was too full of himself and Mark was clearly a player and just trying to score with whoever was easier.
When that scene was finally over, Bethany could carry on droning on about herself. Monkey let out a loud disgruntled grumble that very much said: “Mum, this is very boring!” There was a joint snort from both me and Cameron. Bethany looked like a cat shoved out in a rain-storm.
It didn’t deter her though as she started again. Cameron had caught my eye now. We exchanged smiles.
The filming continued to drag. Monkey decided enough was enough when the director’s dog made a beeline for his master, escaping the clutches of the extras trying to keep him occupied. Monkey just had to tell him off, leaping onto the table, BARK BARK BARK! Over went the rather large bottle of blood-red wine, ending up all over the whiter-than-white dress that Bethany had so far kept spotless. Bethany immediately stopped her showing off, pausing halfway through her showing off. To my dying day, I shall never forget that disgruntled face, that face that always appeared to be sneering down on me, yes, that face slowly turning the same shade as the wine that now decorated that lovely dress.
“Nice dog! Will you both have dinner with me tonight?” Cameron blurted out, completely cutting off Bethany and her screams of rage. She now looked like Monkey after the vet had emptied his anal glands.