Summary

Effective leadership hinges on demonstrating genuine care and love for one's team members, fostering a familial atmosphere that encourages loyalty, support, and mutual concern.

Abstract

The article emphasizes that the key to successful leadership is to cultivate an environment where employees feel genuinely cared for, akin to a family. This approach is particularly impactful in challenging environments where stability and care are scarce. Drawing from personal experiences in education and the military, the author illustrates how leading with love and concern for subordinates' well-being can lead to a more committed and supportive team. The article suggests that even if leaders initially have to 'fake' their concern, consistently demonstrating care will eventually foster a genuine sense of community and mutual support within the organization. This philosophy is not only pragmatic in terms of organizational loyalty and crisis management but also morally imperative, as caring for team members is presented as the right thing to do.

Opinions

Leaders should create a familial atmosphere at work by showing love and concern for their employees, similar to how one would treat family members.
Employees respond positively to leaders who demonstrate care for their personal lives and professional growth, leading to increased loyalty and team cohesion.
Even in a crisis, leaders should prioritize checking on their employees' well-being, as this visible display of care fosters a loyal and supportive workforce.
The article challenges the notion that caring for employees is merely a strategic move, asserting that it is inherently the right thing to do.
Leaders are encouraged to put themselves in their subordinates' shoes when making decisions, considering what action would be taken if they truly cared about their team.
The author acknowledges that while leaders may not always make popular decisions, consistently showing care will ultimately lead to a reciprocal concern and support from the team.
The article suggests that leaders who do not naturally feel concern for their team should at least attempt to simulate it, as this practice can lead to actually developing genuine care over time.

Love: The Leadership Secret

Want employees to love you? Love them first, or at least fake it.

A teacher friend of mine told me a story. She was giving a tour of her school to new teachers in the district, and one of the new teachers asked for advice on how to connect with the kids.

“Tell them you love them and that you’re not going anywhere.”

They worked in a tough part of town in a large metropolitan district. Many of the children had been abandoned by one or sometimes both parents, they were almost universally poor, and they had no stability. For some of them, the school provided the only structure in their lives.

The kids needed someone to care about them and they needed stability. Your employees, hopefully, have enough personal stability, but they still need someone to care about them. Maybe your boss in the big faceless corporation can’t get you a raise, but did they try in a meaningful way?

A few years after my conversation with the teacher, I attended a conference for the Air Force. The leader of my career field, a one-star general, crystallized it for me. I expected a typical guest speaker lecture full of bland pablum and buzzwords. Instead, I had an epiphany from his lead-off sentence. He didn’t introduce himself again and he didn’t soften us up with a joke. He looked around at the room full of squadron commanders, senior NCOs, and other senior leaders and made a bold statement:

“Love your Airmen.”

I had just come off of a 5-year stint as a squadron commander in a reserve unit. My vision, how I tried to treat people, was that we were a family. Could I bend a little and let someone skip a drill weekend for something important in their personal life? I’d do it for a family member. Could I forgive someone when they made a serious but honest mistake? I’d do it for a family member.

Wouldn’t you care if your family member was hungry or cold? Or if your family member had personal troubles and needed someone to talk to? Or needed help?

I didn’t always get it right. As a leader, you never will. Sometimes, especially when deciding who to promote, you will make your best judgment but still leave someone pissed off. In other cases, I made decisions for the good of the organization that on an individual level screwed some of my higher performers.

For the most part, though, the family paradigm worked for me. I didn’t take the metaphor too far; I wasn’t Dad or Mom, but maybe we were all brothers, sisters, and cousins? We literally went to war together.

The general’s speech gave me the why of it. Treating people like family stems from love. If you care about people, if you hear their needs and help them whenever you can, they respond. Want to go to a certain school? Ok, how can I help? Need a reference for a civilian job? I can do that. Want to know what you need to do for promotion? I’ll tell you if you ask.

Fake it if you have to

Once upon a time, I worked for a small company that held a strategic planning session for the leaders every year. We started the day off with a business continuity exercise; a tornado flattened the site, completely destroying everything. What would we do, how do we rebuild, and what data did we need to have backed up?

One of the other VPs stated that we needed the phone roster immediately available to call each of our employees and make sure that they were all right. Another asked why. Why, in the middle of this, emergency, would we take time out to call everyone? Sure, it sounds callous, but if an employee’s house was also destroyed, why was that the company’s problem given that the business had been devastated as well?

I thought about it and tried to explain it in his terms. “If we demonstrate visibly to the employees that we care about them, then they will return that loyalty to us.” The questioner seemed satisfied, and I sat smugly for about five seconds until the CEO chimed in.

“No,” he said, “We care about our employees because it’s the right thing to do.”

Damn, I got schooled.

I think my advice still stands, though. If you don’t care about your team or your employees, at least fake it. Take a moment before making decisions and put yourself in your subordinate’s place. How would you view the situation?

Once you have that piece, ask yourself, what would I do if I actually gave a shit? Then take a chance and do that.

Over time, you will see that concern returned to you. Have a crisis and need people to work late one night? Your people will call the neighbor to pick up the kids instead of waving off. Is another department cooking something unpleasant up for you? Your employees will let you know.

In the best of worlds, you might come to ACTUALLY care.

My Favorite Leadership Lesson From Captain Kirk

Do you know how your organization works?

medium.com

The Success Lesson I Learned Watching Anime With My Teen Daughter

It’s all about RESULTS: Great wisdom from an unexpected source.

medium.com

Brian E. Wish works as a quality engineer in the aerospace industry. He has spent 30 years active and reserve in the US Air Force, where he holds the rank of Colonel. He has a bachelor’s from the US Air Force Academy, a master’s from Bowie State, and a Ph.D. in Public and Urban Administration from UT Arlington. The opinions expressed here are his own. Check out brianewish.com. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.