Love Is Not The Same As Respect: Why Markiplier’s Beliefs Are Not Mine

I owe Markiplier for making the Five Nights at Freddy’s games much less scary than they were to graduate student me. He helped me laugh at the monsters in the dark. As a result, I stopped seeing animatronics in the shadows when the sun went down.

With that said — and here is the but — I haven’t seen recent Markiplier videos. Some of it may be some fatigue on keeping up with my subscribers on YouTube. A bit of it is trying to keep up with all the great content that’s out there. Most of it, however, is feeling discomfort.

I’m disappointed in Mark. While I watch his FNAF videos, a bit of that pedestal has broken. The reason is a choice he made a few years ago.

The Respect Video

We all know Felix, aka Pewdiepie. He was known for being a loud gamer and Internet celebrity by playing games and being a large ham about it. At first Felix made streaming games online seem cool and radical. People cheered on seeing a celebrity who didn’t start in the mainstream.

Then Felix revealed his true colors. He paid two South Asian men to chant, “Death to the Jews” and recorded his reaction. Much later, he said the n word on a stream, and canceled a donation to the Anti-Defamation League when fans took offense. Each subsequent misdemeanor has revealed that these misdemeanors were not random.

I understand it is hard to deal with a good friend of yours being a racist jerk. You want to believe the best of people. What’s more, you wonder about your judgement and hypocrisy. Can you trust someone you consider a friend to be a decent person?

Even so, there are some options. You can decide to not say anything, until heads have cooled and you can think. Or you can say, as what Jacksepticeye did, that your friend didn’t think things through and will make amends for the harm he caused.

Markiplier posted this video after the first Felix fiasco. He cites the Golden Rule: “treat others as you would want to be treated.” It’s about respect and how people were not giving any to Felix after he most definitely messed up. He says, “you can disagree with someone and still respect them.” The point is in separating the person from their heinous deeds, and that people can do either amazing or terrible “things” if they wish.

This all seems so naive several years ago; at this point, disagreeing with someone can be a matter of life and death for some people. Felix has shown shades of Antisemitism and racism. We can’t agree to disagree with people who want us to not exist.

Let’s note that Markiplier is biracial. His mom is Korean, and she’s been featured on some of his videos. He of all people should know what it’s like to see racism in the face. And yet he still stands by Felix, and ignores what he does while asking what we respect the man and everyone else.

Mark has the right to love Felix, as a friend. We all do with the people in our lives even if they are terrible. But he can’t tell us to respect someone who messed up in such a way. We obviously won’t send hate mail, but we will watch and judge.

Respect And Love: What is the Difference?

Respect is, per Merriam-Webster, “an act of giving particular attention” with “consideration” being a synonym. We show respect to others when we wish them good morning, or when we don’t bring up a potentially triggering subject.

Love, in contrast, is “strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties”. The Greeks characterized how some forms of love are selfless, and others are very selfish in nature.

You can love someone who is a jerk. I know people in my family who are jerks. Love in some forms is unconditional, the positive feelings that someone you care about makes you happy.

Respect towards celebrities and authority figures is earned. They put in work for others to listen to their opinions and take note. When I respect someone, it means that I trust their judgment. Felix’s actions cannot be trusted, after this long list. While we obviously want to remain civil, there is a time when being civil is not enough.

If you love Felix, I may squint at you but not all love is conditional. Respect is very conditional and you earn or lose it with your actions. Don’t ask me to respect someone who can’t respect marginalized people. The Golden Rule applies to him as much as it applies to others.

Felix’s actions were dehumanizing. He didn’t just insult Jewish people by paying two men to say, “Death to the Jews”. Felix also took advantage of the fact that Indian people aren’t being taught about the Holocaust, and reduced the men he hired to unwitting pawns. If he hadn’t vouched for them, Fiver would have banned the four men from using their site and cost them income. Even with the Anti-Defamation League, he didn’t research their ties.

I haven’t been watching many gamers on YouTube, apart from those who I know as online or real-life friends. The pedestals are very broken. With that said, I hope we can do better. If you want me to respect you, you have to earn my love with basic decency.