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Abstract

6">Because when we speak unkind words, we are being unjust, too.Because when we say to someone: “You are fat,” we are not just saying that.We are implying that they don’t care for themselves because otherwise, they’d be skinnier.We are implying that they’re supposed to not like themselves because they’re not “conventionally attractive.”What we don’t know, what we can’t know, is what lies behind. The fact that that person might exercise more regularly than we do, but not reach those goals (if they have such goals) because of how their body works.The fact that that person might not have a single problem with the way they look, and just like the way they are.When we openly judge someone, we are pressuring them to conform to something that we think should be the norm. We are putting our own expectations upon them.When we say to someone: “You have pimples”, we are saying to them that they don’t look after their skin, that they should put in place a better skincare routine, when actually they might be spending all of their money on beauty products, without seeing any results.

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We may just be luckier than them in that sense.Or, more simply, as I said before, they might just like themselves the way they are, without feeling the need to change a single thing about their looks.Whatever the case is, we never know. And, if we know, that is even more unjust and serious because we are doing it on purpose.But, what we know is that we are definitely, in one case or the other, going to hurt someone with our words. And that’s unjust, especially if we are talking to our loved ones.And we know that because we almost certainly have been hurt ourselves firsthand by someone else’s words.And we must get to the point when, if we don’t have anything kind or nice to say, we understand that it is better to say nothing at all.<a href="https://ko-fi.com/francescadallaglio">If you like my writing you can support me by buying me a delicious coffee!</a><a href="https://medium.com/@francesca.dallaglio94/membership">Become a Medium member by clicking here!</a> I swear it’s a beautiful place!© Francesca Dallaglio, 2021</article></body>

Love Is Choosing Not To Hurt

Even when we could.

Have you ever said something to someone just to regret it the moment after?

Have you ever heard (or overheard) someone saying something about you that wasn’t nice?

Of course, you have. We all have.

But have you ever stopped pondering the strength, power, and intrinsic weight of words?

Words matter. And words can hurt. And not just in any relationship, but especially in romantic ones. Even when joking, words have intrinsic power, the power to open wounds in the skin of those that we love.

And when we choose to use those words, we are not choosing love; we are choosing ourselves over our loved ones.

But there’s more.

Because when we speak unkind words, we are being unjust, too.

Because when we say to someone: “You are fat,” we are not just saying that.

We are implying that they don’t care for themselves because otherwise, they’d be skinnier.

We are implying that they’re supposed to not like themselves because they’re not “conventionally attractive.”

What we don’t know, what we can’t know, is what lies behind. The fact that that person might exercise more regularly than we do, but not reach those goals (if they have such goals) because of how their body works.

The fact that that person might not have a single problem with the way they look, and just like the way they are.

When we openly judge someone, we are pressuring them to conform to something that we think should be the norm. We are putting our own expectations upon them.

When we say to someone: “You have pimples”, we are saying to them that they don’t look after their skin, that they should put in place a better skincare routine, when actually they might be spending all of their money on beauty products, without seeing any results.

We may just be luckier than them in that sense.

Or, more simply, as I said before, they might just like themselves the way they are, without feeling the need to change a single thing about their looks.

Whatever the case is, we never know. And, if we know, that is even more unjust and serious because we are doing it on purpose.

But, what we know is that we are definitely, in one case or the other, going to hurt someone with our words. And that’s unjust, especially if we are talking to our loved ones.

And we know that because we almost certainly have been hurt ourselves firsthand by someone else’s words.

And we must get to the point when, if we don’t have anything kind or nice to say, we understand that it is better to say nothing at all.

If you like my writing you can support me by buying me a delicious coffee!

Become a Medium member by clicking here! I swear it’s a beautiful place!