Love Can Be Equal and The Same

My children tested this; I’m not sure why.

Love was when I held my first baby daughter in my arms. They say no one can explain it. And I can’t either.

I wondered how I would find the love for my second baby. I was relieved that it was just as immense as the first. I cannot explain it.

My daughters have disagreed over the years about which one of them, mum, loves the most.

Despite me telling them over and over that, I love them both the same. Equally and the same.

As young children, they were measuring love by what they received.

They would check that what one got, the other had also received the same.

I could not give a birthday party to one without doing the same to the other. Each birthday party needed to be equal in value.

They checked their birthday photos for proof of whether that 8th, 9th, or 10th birthday party was of the same value as the other child.

Was it a homemade birthday cake or shop-bought?

I had to do the same for each. To bake a cake for one and not the other would have meant that one felt more loved than the other. And the other less loved than the other.

When one child wanted something. They would send the other to ask. Because they believed that the other would get what they asked for. Because they thought the other was loved more than them.

It simply wasn’t the case.

They received what they each needed at the time.

I believe that I was fair to each of them.

I loved each the same. Each child as I did the other.

As they have matured, they have come to realise their childhood feelings were unfounded. They even laugh about it now.

My older daughter now has two children of her own.

She has truly begun to understand that you can give love to both and still love them both, the same.

Thank you for reading.

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