Lost?

Summary

The poem reflects a personal journey through confusion, fear, and recovery, culminating in a moment of clarity and self-realization.

Abstract

The poem delves into the emotional odyssey of an individual grappling with intoxication, uncertainty, and the haunting presence of shadows. It begins with the narrator accepting delight amidst pain, embarking on a disoriented journey that leads to an unfamiliar place filled with fear. The narrative unfolds in a space where recovery is juxtaposed with a sense of failure, as the protagonist faces the prospect of returning to a past they had sought to escape. The poem conveys the bitterness of defeat and the resurfacing of shadows in the mind, symbolizing setbacks and confusion. Ultimately, the narrator reawakens in the room where their journey began, experiencing a mix of relief and joy, recognizing the twisted nature of their good times. The poem concludes with the narrator expressing gratitude for the platform given to their words and acknowledging the support received.

Opinions

The narrator expresses a complex relationship with their experiences, finding both pain and delight in their interactions.
There is a sense of disorientation and fear associated with the unfamiliar, highlighting the narrator's vulnerability.
The poem suggests that the journey to recovery is non-linear, with moments of doubt and potential regression.
The shadows are depicted as a recurring element of the narrator's inner turmoil, representing underlying fears and uncertainties.
The narrator reflects on their journey with a mix of shame and gratitude, indicating an acceptance of their imperfect path to self-discovery.
The acknowledgment of Dr. Mehmet Yildiz and the ILLUMINATION-Curated team implies a value placed on community and support within the creative process.

Free verse poetry

Already intoxicated, managing to accept the delight presented by a delightful friend stinging the already swollen painfully burning flesh, I start the journey in.

Unsteady feet for unsteady legs, standing on a giddy head. Unrecognised room in an unknown place finds an air of uncertainty leading to slight panic.

Where is this again? A caustic influence all around, snatching, taunting, drawing out fear until pushed into the place no one wants to be, almost, terrifying.

Coming round in an unfamiliar room, sunlight streaming through stained glass windows it’s strange, new. Looming shadows now start to form as I cower.

My saviours had come to take me from this place of recovery, was my journey a failure? A new job, a new place, was doing so well, and now?

Breaking away from the small town I had sworn I would never go back to live. How had It all been messed up so badly? So on my journey I go, back in time.

The feeling of defeat burning into the pit of My retching stomach, defeat at my own hands, shame.

Again, filled with unfamiliar feelings, the shadows are back in my confused mind, a sense of being pushed backwards, Am I falling? No; I’m coming to as clarity forms.

I am back in the room where it all started. Lightheaded, still unsteady, becoming more sure. The sense of relief, joy almost, I was just having a twisted good time! Just like all the other confusing good times.

Thank you as always Dr Mehmet Yildiz and the ILLUMINATION-Curated team for giving my words a platform. 🙏 Thank you all for reading and your precious time. Always. J. 🙏✨

POETRY

Lost?

Free verse poetry