Losing My Job Was The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me

10 Things You Should Do After Being Fired From Your Job

Several years ago, I received the proverbial pink slip from a company in the industry I had called home for my entire career.

At the time, I wrote about it, but only cautiously. I was embarrassed and scared. Scared that people would think less of me. Scared that being fired meant that no company would ever hire me again. Scared that I was destined for a life of pain and pauperism.

But years have passed since then, and instead of cowering in a corner feeling sorry for myself, I rose from the ashes like a phoenix, ready to fly above the crowd and kick some status quo ass.

And now, it’s time for me to spread the lessons that “getting fired up” taught me, not only for my sake but for the hundreds of people who lose their jobs every day and are too embarrassed to talk about it. If you’re one of them, read on, my friend. This one’s for you.

You Lost Your Job But Gained Your Purpose

Call it what you want … being laid off, downsized, eliminated, fired. It doesn’t matter. The bottom line is that one day, I had a job, and the next day, I didn’t.

Did it suck? Of course, it did. But wailing, gnashing my teeth, and inviting friends over for a pity party were never my style. And wallowing in self-pity because I no longer had to get dressed come Monday morning seemed … well, uncool.

I was not angry or resentful. In fact, I was quite the opposite. It took a few weeks for me to get to a place of peace, but it’s that very peace that gave me the courage to write about it publicly.

That, and the fact that a couple of weeks after I gained my independence (notice I didn’t say ‘lost my job’), a 33-year-old former colleague passed away. He was a talented, courageous man who once took the risk to come out of his own closet and publish it to a national audience.

A few hours after gaining the freedom to live my life with passion (again, notice I didn’t say ‘lost my job’), I attended the memorial service and burial of a neighbor who was closer to me than some of my family members. He was just two years older than me.

Suddenly, writing about losing my job no longer seemed scary. In the big scheme of things, it was no big deal.

Emancipation Day

First, not having a job is not the end of the world. If truth be told, the day I was “let go” felt like an emancipation.

I love my life’s work and career. But I’ve lived long enough to know that there’s a Higher Power to whom I’ve entrusted my purpose. And if She thought it was time for me to move on, then who was I to question Her?

Three days after Emancipation Day — my first Monday where I had nowhere to go or any reason to shower — my new reality began.

It didn’t take long to realize that there’s a “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” philosophy around people who lose their jobs.

For the most part, people ignored me. Even on social media, those who knew I had been “let go” pretended it didn’t happen. I received three messages from former colleagues, saying they were sad they hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye. A few others had wished me well as I walked out of the building that Friday a few years ago — in the nanosecond, it took for the news to spread like wildfire. Other than that … nothing.

Being unemployed isn’t contagious, but some people will treat you like it is. It’s as if by staying away from you, they won’t catch your cooties.

So, I started to call a few close friends and former colleagues to tell them what had happened.

“I’m so sorry!” was the most common reaction.

“Don’t be,” I’d say. “The door to possibilities just swung wide open for me.”

At worst, it was strictly a business decision. At best, a Universal gift was pushing me towards a higher calling. (The irony is I was fired from NBC Universal. God, how I love the Higher Power’s sense of humor!)

Now, it’s not that I hadn’t been on purpose during my career. It’s just that the groundwork had been laid for the greater accomplishments for which I was created.

I was very much alive. Condolences were not necessary.

“I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.” — Steve Jobs

Finally, there were those who insisted on inviting me to happy hour to keep me up to date on the latest “drama for your mama” at my former workplace. Many complained about how unhappy they were.

“OMG, stop whining and quit,” I would tell them. It seemed much more civil than throwing the dirty martini with three olives that they were nursing in their face.

“Well, it’s easier to find a new job when you have a job,” was the most common response.

Translation: I get a steady paycheck. You no longer do.

“OK, then,” I would think. “If I have to listen to your whine, you get to pay for my wine.” (I was still drinking back then. I quit that too.)

And so it goes.

Being unemployed isn’t contagious, but some people will treat you like it is. It’s as if by staying away from you, they won’t catch your cooties.

If you’re where I was, please stop talking about it like it was some cruel injustice. It happened. Move on. Whatever lessons you were meant to learn will become clear. For now, breathe and let breathe.

Cootie Lessons After Being Fired

It’s been almost 10 years since my job left me, and I joined the freelance lifestyle.

I’ve learned quite a few things since then. Here, in no particular order, are a few lessons I hope will guide you, no matter which side of the unemployment line you stand.

Lesson 1: Be grateful for everything you have and haven’t lost. Most of all, be thankful for the time you’ve been given to do the things you’ve been too busy to do. Those things will guide you to the next chapter in your life.

Lesson 2: Be humble. A week after Emancipation Day, I attended my 40th High School reunion. It was the place where I had meant to brag about what I had done for the past 40 years. Suddenly, I couldn’t do that. Yet the overwhelming support I received when I shared what had happened made me realize that what I did for a living had no impact on what my true friends thought of me. My favorite comment: “If I were laid off, I could do so many of the things I feel too trapped to do right now!” Think about it. Why wait to get untrapped? What guarantee do you have that you’ll ever get to do those things?

Lesson 3: Trust … in a Higher Power, in yourself, in your family, in the Unknown, in your neighbor’s cat, in the moments that put a smile on your face. Letting go and getting out of destiny’s way will bring you one step closer to the fulfillment you seek. Notice I didn’t say the job you seek. Jobs aren’t necessarily fulfilling.

Lesson 4: Be patient. There’s no better time to trust the Force that’s been guiding you since birth than when you have no other choice but to do so.

Lesson 5: Practice being positive around those who are negative. Trust me, there will be plenty of negativity around. Get that picture of yourself living under the Interstate and eating dog food out of your head. Close your eyes. Envision the doom and gloomers sitting at their corporate desks, counting the hours until the weekend, wishing they were you.

Lesson 6: Don’t Settle. It’s easy to take the first job you’re offered. Don’t do it. Don’t let fear trap you back into what you left behind.

Lesson 7: Focus. Get clear on what you don’t want so you can focus on what you do want.

Lesson 8: Persevere in finding your next opportunity, but remember to ride your bike, write your novel, have lunch with people you’ve been meaning to have lunch with, play your guitar, walk the dog in your pajamas, go to the naked beach and check in on Facebook. Most of all, waste time doing the things you love. Because the things the world tells you are important really aren’t.

Lesson 9: Stop treating yourself like you’re contagious. The minute I opened up to people and let my guard down, opportunities began to open up. No one can help you if you don’t ask for help.

Lesson 10: Pay your positive attitude forward to those who are not quite as optimistic about their situation as you are. It’s in giving that we receive.

Remember, you’re not unemployed. You’re working to put fear aside so the next chapter of your life can begin.

And that, my friends, doesn’t suck so bad.

Thank you for reading this article. I welcome your comments. If you found this article helpful, please share it and give it a few claps so others can find it. If you’d like to support my work, buy me a coffee!

Barb Besteni is a writer, spiritual seeker, former rock star, and animal lover who, at 65, finally achieved the below 20% body fat composition that eluded her in her younger days. After 35 years of writing, copyediting, and producing content for local, national, and international television news, she left the newsroom for the comfort of her home office. Get an email whenever Barb publishes a new story on Medium: https://medium.com/@barbbesteni/subscribe