Looksmaxxing: Are You Confident In Your Own Beauty?
A story of Goldilocks and hard, soft, or just right?
It was daylight again. Elara tried to shut it out, but Siri kept prodding her with reminders of how many minutes she had left until she needed to catch the bus to work.
She dragged herself into the bathroom and stared into the mirror. The one looking back had an expression of resignation. There were dark circles and some puffiness around her eyes. She probably shouldn’t have drunk that much wine last night and loathed herself for it. She saw all her imperfections — the blotchy skin, the chin hairs, the droopy eyelids, and her lackluster brown hair hanging in limp strands. Time to face the day.
She vowed, again, to do something about her miserable life. She hurried to prep herself for work — liberally applying makeup — and throwing together an outfit. She just made the last trolley and headed into downtown Arcadia and her office job.
She lucked into her job in the accounting department of Maxie’s and shared an apartment with a girlfriend. She moved through life wraithlike — her confidence shrunken by the weight of self-doubt. She watched all the people like her, rushing to work, and she wished she could be one of the “beautiful” people.
She glanced at a billboard on the bus advertising L’Oreal cosmetics. She had loads of it in the bathroom, but never felt satisfied with her look, no matter how much make-up she applied. Elara found herself constantly comparing her appearance to the flawless images plastered all over the media. She re-determined to go on a diet — again.
As she walked up to her building, she noticed an older man on the sidewalk singing and playing his guitar, with his guitar case opened in the hopes of spare change. She looked at his face and he looked directly into her eyes. and he smiled. She felt a serenity wash over her. She felt a profound connection — just for a moment — and she was uplifted. Well, I guess some people have charisma — just not me.
In the evening, as Elara scrolled through her social media feed, she clicked on a series of posts discussing extreme methods of physical transformation. Intrigued, she discovered a concept called “hardmaxxing” — advocating a rigorous exercise regime, a strict diet, and even surgical enhancement to achieve physical perfection. She felt attracted to this concept. Perhaps this was the answer she had been looking for and made an appointment online for tomorrow.
She shared her hopes and dreams that night with her apartment mate, Joanie. “I’ve got an appointment with them tomorrow after work. I think this might be it. I’m so tired of looking this way, and I’m willing to do almost anything at this point. Look at me— no love life, no hopes for advancement at work. What do I have to look forward to?”
“I don’t mean to be negative Elara, but what is it you hope to accomplish with this? You know it’s going to be hugely expensive, and it’s just a slight alteration of your appearance. You look fine to me. You might do better to work on the inside. What’s the old saying, “Beauty is only skin deep?” Joanie gazed back at Elara with a questioning look.
“Well, that’s fine for the likes of you and the rest, but look at me — I have so many imperfections. A little nip and tuck, and polish couldn’t hurt. I’m so tired of dragging to work and watching other people have fun.. Did you hear that Fran got engaged?”
“Oh, I didn’t know. Well, good for her. But, back to you Elara. Why compare yourself to other people? It might be cliche, but you realize that true beauty emanates from within. If you radiate kindness, intelligence, and compassion, your beauty will shine through.”
“You reminded me of an experience I had today. A busker was performing on the street on the way to work this morning. For a moment, we connected, and I felt my heart lighten. It was eerie.”
“That’s so cool. He sounds special. What did he look like?”
“Nothing real special, he wore jeans and a sweatshirt, a bit of a scruffy beard, but somehow, he exuded a beautiful presence. Hmmm. Perhaps I’ve been thinking about this all wrong.”
“It wouldn’t cost you anything to set aside these “soft-maxxing” and “hard maxxing” plans for a bit. Let’s consider ways to develop our inner beauty. I’ll do it with you! It’ll be fun.
“Thanks, Joanie. Okay, let’s start tomorrow.”
Native American cultures have a deep respect for the acceptance of our human imperfections. When weaving a rug, they will purposely include a flaw. This serves as a reminder that, while all that is human-made is imperfect, it yet can reflect the beauty, reverence, care, and love of true creation.”
In Buddhist teachings, we understand that form or appearance alone corresponds to the physical aspect, while there are four other components corresponding to the spiritual aspects of ourselves. These ive components are:
Form: the physical aspect
Perception: receiving external information from the six senses (our five senses plus our mind that integrates and makes sense of the input)
Conception: forming ideas from what we perceive
Volition: our will to act based on our perception and conception
Consciousness: our ability to integrate the other four components and discern value
Our spiritual and material aspects are integrated into a whole. Yet only one of these five aspects relates to appearance: form. In other words, it is largely our state of life that determines how we perceive ourselves and others.
While there is nothing wrong with wanting to look nice or caring for our health and hygiene, our true challenge is to overcome our shallow understanding, raise our inner life state, and change our perceptions.
Rather than trying to satisfy society’s impossible standards of beauty — by living passionately and uplifting those around us — we shine as people of true beauty. Beauty is found mainly within — in the form of an unshakeable self-confidence.