The Authentic Eclectic
Looking Inside the Brain of an Adoptee: Pro-Life or Pro-Choice Seemed Obvious
Black and white thinking with a whole lot of grey
Once upon a time, I had all the answers.
I was absolute.
Black and white.
Two plus two equals four.
I was placed for adoption and not aborted.
Being a fan of the adoption process started young for me. By the first grade, I told everyone how I was chosen. There’s a mystique that comes with that when you’re a kid. The other kids were curious but, it was hard to explain what it felt like.
What did it feel like?
It felt like everyone had a connection that I didn’t. They had their mom’s hair or their dad’s eyes. Maybe their siblings all looked alike or had similar athletic and academic abilities.
I longed for the biological bonds they shared.
Against some huge odds, I was raised with my full biological brother. Though we shared the genetics for having a unibrow and were quite hairy, that was the extent of our likeness.
As I aged, I loved revealing my unique quality as one of the rare or few adopted kids in the school. My peers’ intrigue may have rivaled mine, momentarily, when they contemplated what it would feel like not knowing where they came from.
My questions were deeper and longer-lasting. I resigned myself that I would never know my origins and created my own fantasy-filled ancestry. My imaginary family tree was all contrived, fake, and all lies.
But I had something they didn’t have.
I was adopted.
They were not.
Abortion would have ruined all that for me.
Pro-life was the obvious answer.
Hmmm.
As I got older, my scope of understanding evolved with my ability to factor in new information. Not just scientific or medical data, but I also enjoyed an open emotional field where I could see life and human nature more clearly.
Learning more stimulated more questions. As I became exposed to differences, in people and opinions, a need triggered me to dig in and uncover more of the unknown.
The less sure I became of my absolutes, the more grounded I felt.
That statement in itself seems paradoxical in nature, but it is the only way I can explain my transformation of thought.
As my black-and-white world included more and more shades of grey, it became clear to me, that I really had very few absolutes. That idea offered me comfort.
An understanding that I was willing and able to receive new information eased my soul, my spirit, and my heart.
I personally found this to be a relief. The ability to form new opinions as I updated additional factors I had not previously considered was liberating.
There is a rigidness and anxiety that accompanies fixation or stagnation.
This is not an attempt to debate the never-ending, very polarizing topic of abortion.
Moreso, this is my support for free thought. Freedom of choice needs to be respected. I will never try to infringe on your freedom and I plan on maintaining mine.
I offer you my journey, my thoughts, and my spiritual growth.
Maybe others have been on this road and questioned how they could reasonably conclude that as an adoptee, they may lean into a pro-choice mindset.
I did and I didn’t actually lean in.
My conclusions to date evolved due to insight and personal growth.
My brain and heart collided with a clarity that there is only one logical conclusion and it has always been that way. Personal choice started from the beginning of time and will outlast us all.
My birth mother had a choice.
It wasn’t mine to make.
It was her heart, her mind, and her free thought that dictated her path.
I don’t feel lucky or blessed, per se, about her choice. But, I am thankful that I benefitted from her decision to have me and place me for adoption.
My older self stepped back from the intrusive political posturing, and even religious beliefs, to peel away the layers clouding reality.
And the reality is quite obvious to me. Regardless of societal pressure, religious beliefs, or family input, a woman has the right to terminate a pregnancy. It truly is her choice.
And, in that same line of thinking it stands to reason that if she chooses to cultivate that pregnancy and life, she has that choice.
Choosing life is also just that, a choice.
I will love all women and offer my support, just the same.
That is my choice.
It really isn’t about which side of the fence you fall on, it’s about maintaining the integrity of freedom. Freedom to choose, whichever way that may be, is not for one person to dictate to another.
It’s not yours, not mine, not the government’s, and not a stranger’s decision to hijack another’s thought process and desire. No one should have the right to strong-arm, invade, or persuade, a woman’s brain and force her to make a decision.
It is her choice.
Do I think abortion should be used as a birth control method?
Nope. My opinion.
Do I think it should be taken lightly?
Nope. My opinion.
Do I think women should risk their lives in back alleys to achieve their choice?
Nope. Absolutely not. Never.
And because women have a choice, safe medical procedures should be available.
It borders on insanity that pro-life versus pro-choice has any political involvement. A woman can choose to consult with their family, doctor, clergy, or their higher power. It’s their choice.
They don’t have to consult with anyone if they don’t want to investigate additional options.
Should you have a strong opinion either way, I support you. Should you prefer the middle of the road, that works too. Women have tough choices to make and the last thing we should do is undermine our emotions and jeopardize our mental health.
It is her choice.
Religious beliefs are also very personal. They, too, are not up for debate. Simply put, religious choices are still choices. A woman has the choice to follow the doctrines of her church, or not.
No matter how you look at it, women have the right to take the direction they want.
It is her choice.
Black and white.
Two plus two equals four.
I was placed for adoption and not aborted.
I am thankful for that but recognize it was not my choice.
No woman should be stripped of her right to choose.
So, yeah.
Uncomfortable to talk about?
Maybe for many. It’s not for me. I will continue to learn and grow and take in new information. It’s my journey and I still have room to add more grey.
Your opinion on this can be diametrically opposed to mine. That’s not only okay but should be totally acceptable to all parties. Differences allow for learning and we need to have healthy dialogue. If we all are forced to think the same and are pigeonholed into the same box, we relinquish our ability to evolve. I choose to stay in the school of life.
Black and white with a whole lot of grey, now.
My birth mother made her choice.
As all women should.
I will love them just the same, regardless.
That is my choice.
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