Looking Inside for A Better Life

I am grateful for having found ways to introspect myself

“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ~ Carl Jung

One of the best things about being a writer is self-reflection. A combination of words carves a mirror for a writer. A writer glimpses his soul in that mirror. And so writing promises self-awareness.

However, I was not a creative writer back in my teenage years and before. I did write some essays laced with emotionally tuned words on the latest political happenings, not to stir or move proponents (or opponents) of my stances. But because I loved that enthusiastic write-up.

I never wrote anything for myself except for a little journal in which I’d pen my immediate feelings and would quit without even concluding—when an overwhelming gush of thoughts would utterly confuse me.

Consequently, I never discovered my true self. And like many teenagers, I had a poor relationship with myself.

The worst thing about having a weaker relationship with oneself is the scarcity of intrinsic motivation.

The person always has to look outside for motivation. He or she cries and rejoices for other’s thoughts. There’s a little essence of self in that person’s world.

There’s little comfort in that world because of the yearning to be someone else in the hope to form a lasting soap bubble with a new self—a dream that never had any reality.

I’d been there, and so I know how terrible that world was.

We, humans, are blessed with one heart. But we divide our hearts into sections just for the sake of others—to fit in and blend in with the crowd. In that wild goose chase, we lose our true selves.

We want to read the same books as Bill Gates has had read; we aspire to be as successful as Elon Musk; we want to write like Stephen King. But deep down, our souls quibble with our inspiration.

Our souls aspire to remain true and natural.

We aspire to be someone else because we think choosing ourselves recommends setting ourselves up for less. But in reality, it means to soar the skies with the energy of an authentic self.

All our lives (and circumstances) need is a change — in our habits, perspectives, or even goals. But we can never seek that little change in the outside world. And if we do, we may get inspired, but for the time being.

Inspiration, motivation, courage, perseverance that comes from the outside world has limited tenure. It has to end because our feelings change with time.

And so the real change that brings a change to our world comes from within.

My world changed the moment I looked inside myself,—a term I first learned from the book Never Eat Alone.

I had to join the segments of my heart to be myself again. And, in those moments, I felt the awakening of a soul.

I became aware of myself — the moment I accepted myself. I paid heed to the voices in my head, to the spirited strings in my heartbeat. And for the first time in my life, I felt Rumi’s poetry.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” — Rumi

I found purpose, beauty, and value in my life and fulfillment in my soul.

Resistance on my chosen road didn’t bother me as I knew when and how to put my heart and soul to work.

Love and self-awareness outshine resistance, and sooner rather than later various paths converge into a beautiful destination.

However, life isn’t like a juicy piece of fiction where characters develop unshakable habits. We get demotivated easily and frequently—an ominous part of being human. We keep breaking our self-commitment—sometimes by setbacks, other times by provocation from the outside world.

Mixed feelings are a part of our journey in life.

But there’s always a way to tune our feelings, thoughts, reflections, and thus ourselves—a way to stop running away from feelings—to hear the silence within ourselves.

Whatever happens, I eventually approach self-awareness.

A weekly introspection by these three (relatable yet different in essence) ways helps me save myself from drowning in a deep ocean of conflicting thoughts and voices. I rediscover my perpetual intrinsic motivation.

1. Solitude:

There was a time when I was scared of being alone—of being at the mercy of my thoughts. However, to harmonize my thoughts I had to entertain them in seclusion. In the comfort of being alone, I contemplate my feelings and emotions.

A self-reflection in those unusually calm and anomalous moments of seclusion helps a soul to follow its course rather than others’.

I enjoy being myself for a while, giving myself positive pep talks—to remind myself my real happiness lies in being my true self—to vivify my relationship with myself and to refresh my soul.

2. Meditation:

I gently boost my mood and awareness in an attempt (I am writing ‘an attempt’ because I fail often) to control and guide my drifting thoughts back to focus.

Tranquility in that soulful and concentrated environment creates compassion for myself and the world I am living in.

Meditation is my way of confining myself to my present.

3. A walk in nature:

Ever since I entered the designing world, I love the rhythmic combination of colors.

Whenever I go for a short walk in nature, I always come up with a unique yet beautiful combination of colors — the colors that whisper and remind me of my mantra that it takes courage to accept the uniqueness and to be a true version of oneself. It is fine to be unique and like nobody else.

And this way nature revives my healthy relationship with myself.

I am grateful for having found these ways that help by battling conflicting thoughts and feelings help me look within myself.

“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” — Thich Nhat Hahn

I am grateful to Trista Signe Ainsworth for her publication that reminds me of the beauties of the world I am living in.