Looking For a Life Partner For Our Selfish Desires

Is it okay?

Before I dive deeper into the topic, I list a few parameters regarding a relationship to guide our conversation:

1. The partnership is about being in love and making a home together.

2. The relationship is not simple, it is complicated, but it requires more effort.

3. You are called life partner for a reason.

4. The model of this relationship can’t be objectively called right or wrong because it varies.

5. Each relationship has expectations and requires honesty to work.

6. There can’t be any manipulations.

7. So, what’s in it for you? It’s a question worth asking about marriage, and not without reason.

It is completely okay to have conditions/ expectations, but they should be laid out before getting into a relationship. Reason with each other given your expectations of why, what, and how? Because honesty is everything. It is the basis of any relationship.

Even if you are not serious in the relationship, that should be communicated beforehand.

The expectations and requirements should be laid out beforehand and not to manipulate the person later.

It’s natural to have some expectations from your life partner, something that should be communicated well and before things get serious. Whether you are looking for a fling or a long-term relationship, honesty and communication would get your far in any sort of relationship.

For women, it’s important that they set their priorities straight, there is no harm in looking for a rich husband to ensure maximum financial protection.

And in the case of men, it’s important that they communicate their needs and expectations and what they are looking to get out of the relationship. This includes physical, emotional, materialistic, intimate, and financial expectations.

There is no right or wrong to look for a partner as per your requirements. Whether you are looking for a handsome, tall and stable guy or a short dorky one, you should look as per those qualities.

All women want different things; the majority of them probably don’t really want someone who’s simply wealthy or good looking though with nothing much else to offer.

Money is mostly secondary to having a good relationship with someone. How sad that you think women are only looking for money or looks in a husband.

A woman could want a husband who laughs at her corny jokes, a husband who would not consider watching his children to be “babysitting”. Or maybe someone who is going to feed me chicken soup when I am sick. A man who doesn’t think helping with chores is beneath him. A man who will pass out trick or treat candy even if the game is on. A man who realizes that I need alone time every once in a while. I could go on, but you get the drift. Money and looks come pretty far down the list when it comes to qualities women look for in men but then again, this does not apply to ALL of the women.

Unrealistic Expectations in Marriage

Avoid the following Marriage Expectations that can put your relationship in a tough spot:

1. Making him choose between you and his mother.

2. Expecting him to listen like a girl-friend would.

3. Wanting him to never notice another woman.

4. Asking him to give up his passions.

5. Expecting him to be a different man.

6. Wanting him to ditch his friends.

7. Expecting him to remember every moment in your relationship.

8. Wanting him to share all of your interests.

9. Making him always be the bigger person.

And the same goes for the man in case of his spouse/ partner. It is important to note that you can have expectations from your other half, they are called your soulmate for a reason, but all you have to do is make the smallest of effort and communicate those before.

It is alright if a man wants a beautiful wife or a woman wants a wealthy man, it makes you all the more of a human being. Your life partner should know what they are signing up for so that either of you don’t end up hurt or misunderstood, later.

Most importantly, remember that you should not choose a partner based on the criteria created by society. Sometimes, it is your family who wants to have a beautiful daughter-in-law or a rich and well-off son-in-law but if you do not want that for yourself, stand your ground.

A relationship is a crucial thing and it is something that should be handled, delicately. And, you and your partner both have a fifty-fifty share of how things unfold, in the longer run. So, to satisfy your query, the answer is yes. Yes, it is absolutely okay to look for a well-off partner or have expectations from them BUT it is not okay to have unrealistic expectations and not lay them out before things get official for you both.

You can be selfish; you can have your desires but your partner does not deserve to be kept in the dark. Make sure that you reason with them about your needs, if there are any and also give them a logical reason to back up your demands. And if there is enough understanding between the two of you, things can turn out much smoother without any manipulation.

You can make it or break it, it’s your choice in the end.