Look at what a lot of things there are to learn.

T.H. White on learning. (The Commonplace Book Project)

The Commonplace Book Project is a daily post based on Ray Bradbury’s advice to aspiring writers: read a poem, a short story, and an essay every day for 1000 days. These posts start with a quote and go wherever the rabbit hole leads. Follow The 1000 Day MFA publication so you don’t miss a thing.

“Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn.” — T.H. White, The Once and Future King

Yesterday, I saw The Kid Who Would be King. I enjoyed it for a couple of reasons, not the least of which is that the boy who played the kid who would be king reminded me so much of how I imagine my husband to have been when he was twelve.

Well, an English schoolboy version of him.

And, because I based one of the main characters in my new book The Astonishing Maybe on what I imagine my husband was like when he was twelve, he reminded me of Gideon, too.

And I wouldn’t have missed it because I am so drawn to Arthurian stories. I enjoyed this version. It had some surprises that delighted me.

I found The Once and Future King by T. H. White at a garage sale when I was a senior in high school. It was foundational for me. It shaped me as a reader. Of all the Arthurian stories I’ve experienced, it remains my favorite. I’m sure it always will.

I think I’m drawn most to the idea of a person becoming more than they were. Maybe even, maybe, than they are supposed to be. I love an epic story. T. H. White’s hits all of my buttons. True love, high drama, adventure, incredible characters.

The Once and Future King is actually a compilation of four novels, three of which were published separately between the 1930s and the 1950s, and the last which has only been published with the others as part of The Once and Future King.

In 1977 a final book in the series, The Book of Merlyn, was published posthumously.

Imagine telling the same story for forty years. The same story that’s actually been told for 600 years. Incredible, really.

By all accounts, White struggled with internal demons that informed his work. I think this quote from one of his diaries might be the saddest thing I’ve ever read.

It has been my hideous fate to be born with an infinite capacity for love and joy with no hope of using them.

His closest relationships were with his dogs and his hunting birds. I found this post about White’s response to the death of his dog, Brownie. Be warned that it’s heartbreaking.

I actually own Sylvia Townsend Warner’s T.H. White: A Biography. I bought it at a used book store over the summer. I think I’ll definitely try to read it this year.

White was clearly a conflicted and troubled man. He was abused as a child and was a deeply closeted gay man. He also identified as a sadist, which he was ashamed of. I found this article interesting — it takes a look at some parts of The Once and Future King through that lens.

One of the hardest part of this series has been learning things about some of my favorite writers that are hard to know. The article above, and Warner’s biography, also discusses the possibility that White was drawn to young boys, based on a diary entry written at the end of White’s life— although both insist that there is no evidence he ever acted on it.

That’s something I need to sit with.

Here’s one last article I found interesting.

White was inspired to write The Once and Future King while reading Le Morte D’Arthur, written in the 1400s by Sir Thomas Mallory.

I’ve added a translation of Le Morte D’Arthur to my reading list.

White’s book for children, Mistress Masham’s Repose is still in print. It’s about a little orphaned girl who finds Lilliputians living in a corner of her house. I‘d like to read it.

I’ll also keep my eye out for his now out-of-print science fiction books.

Today’s Poem:

To Myself, Forty Years Ago By T.H. White

Little child
Who was me once,
My pity on you —
And reverence.

Terence, if I
Could return
My drear tideway
To your bright burn,

If we could meet
Where I once strayed,
The betrayer
And the betrayed.

If we could win back
In Time's defiance,
Would you be afeared of me,
Ten-year-old Terence?

No, you would not fear.
You would love, trust,
Cherish, admire
This tedious dust.

For oh! we were all brimming once
With the sun-sparkled dew.
One heart could have loved this hulk —
The ignorant heart of you.

Shaunta Grimes is a writer and teacher. She is an out-of-place Nevadan living in Northwestern PA with her husband, three superstar kids, two dementia patients, a good friend, Alfred the cat, and a yellow rescue dog named Maybelline Scout. She’s on Twitter @shauntagrimes and is the author of Viral Nation and Rebel Nation and the upcoming novel The Astonishing Maybe. She is the original Ninja Writer.