Relationships

Long-Distance Relationships Work — Here’s How

5 Secrets to Build A Love Connection Even From Across The Globe

Long-distance relationships are growing faster than other forms of romantic connections. But, how can you make one work? Between the different time zones, the need for physical affection, and all the other options available in town, committing can be challenging.

As I said before, hope is an energy that can keep you motivated, but actions are far more persuasive than promises.

Nevertheless, here you’ll find five ways to make your love grow even if you’re physically away for months, even years.

But first, does it worth going the distance?

Long-distance relationships are becoming more popular because research shows people can also grow a meaningful bond even if they are hundreds of miles away from each other.

Yes, some people have a particular disposition to find these forms of love more enjoyable than others.

Commitment phobias, social anxiety, and shyness are barriers harder to overcome when having a real-live person in front of you.

In other cases, with all the economic and social changes currently occurring, traveling became less frequent, and well-paid jobs more scarce.

Many of us turn into home-office jobs, and a few workers are being relocated far from their hometown. Dating has never been more complicated.

For couples with several years together, long-distancing can take a toll on their routines and ways of enjoying their lives in a “traditional manner.”

By putting aside all the pressures of everyday living, a relationship can experience positive changes allowing a couple to reconnect with their feelings and reasons to be together.

Absence can really make the heart grow fonder.

In 2020 the pandemic changed the dating game for literally everyone. Dating apps and social media are a great source of sexual fantasies, lies, and love to flourish.

How can you separate the wheat from the chaff? How could you know this person is worth going the distance?

With these five secrets I’ve collected over three years of long-distancing, you’ll have access to the closeness you’re after, keeping the relationship healthy and hot.

Very hot.

Work at having a future together:

The “right timing” when having a long-distance relationship can mean a lot of things. Daylight savings, seasons, and time-zones can be a little trickier to maneuver, especially if you’re from different continents.

Those who live across the globe from their loved ones can also find it a little bit harder to deal with having a full work schedule and still waking up at 4:00 am to talk about your day/night.

Nevertheless, what can make a long-distance relationship fail is not an issue of syncing clocks but a lack of shared goals.

Thinking about a future together is essential to give a foothold to an emotional bond.

Working together to fulfill those objectives indicates how healthy the relationship is or can highlight which areas of your relationship you both need to tackle.

Long-term relationships separated due to studies, work, or other personal circumstances may find that working together for their common goals is easy. Still, new challenges arise in other areas, such as intimacy.

Setting common goals will give you results if, and only if you both have realistic expectations, which takes me to the next point: how to start building plans that can thrive.

Think big! Start small:

Do your plans involve moving in together? Slow down! It’s best to take some baby steps first. Allow yourselves to assess where each of you stands, considering your personal goals and careers.

Evaluate all the possible scenarios, circumstances, and locations in which the relationship could continue to grow. You can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs.

A future together can imply:

• Moving to a different state/country.
• Learning a new language.
• Quitting your current job and being allowed to work in a different country legally.
• Starting from fresh in a place where you may have no connections.
• Legal residence and work Visa processes.
• Getting married… which shouldn't be taken lightly.
• Adapting to a different culture and customs.

Through all this planning phase, remember to put yourselves in the shoes of the other.

Making another person happy at the cost of your happiness ain’t healthy or promising. Mutual benefit is crucial for love to grow strong.

When designing the plan, remember to be mindful, objective, and realistic.

“Moving together” sounds fantastic, but grounding the ideas and creating a strategy will give you a better grasp of what needs to be done to make that dream come true.

There are endless options to make things work, so bring all your doubts and expectations to the table with an assertive attitude.

Once you have reached an agreement, it is essential to respect that decision. The consistency in working together to achieve mutual goals is an excellent indicator of when to shorten the distances.

Fulfill your partner's sexual fantasies:

For most, enjoying sex is an essential element of romantic partnerships. How to have an active, healthy sex life if my partner lives 10 hours away?

The answer is simple: Communication.

I’m not talking about having sex over a video call (although that’s certainly important).

I’m talking about communicating openly about each other’s fantasies, kinks, and preferences.

Posing alternative schemes such as open relationships is an option, but I’d suggest thinking about it twice. Putting such extra pressure on a relationship can hurt it irreparably, especially at the beginning.

Having sex over a video call may sound boring to many, but there are plenty of ways, and toys, to spice things up in the bedroom even when you’re away.

Want an article on how to have a sexually active and exciting long-distance relationship? Let me know in the comments, and hold on to your pillows.

Support and care about each other:

Being there for your loved ones and supporting them to reach their goals is essential for a relationship to thrive. A person with clear goals will work for them wherever they are.

Still, the main reason we associate with another person romantically is to find kindness, love, and words of encouragement.

Successful long-distance relationships may not have a language in common, share the same time zone or culture. You may not have had the same opportunities or backgrounds, but your values and love languages must be similar.

Distance does not limit how close we can get. This Post-Human era allows us to engage in all sorts of online activities apart from work.

Sending photos, flowers, gifts, and even serenades is something that can easily be arranged online.

A relationship’s vulnerabilities increase when there is no emotional feedback. To prevent this from happening, you have to be “present”:

• By wishing them a great day every morning (whatever time suits you).
• Honoring your agreements and respecting each other’s schedules.
• Having “dates.”
• Remembering important stuff.
• Sending each other presents, small details, texts, and soup delivered when it’s needed.
• Going back to the second habit, it won’t hurt to send intriguing sex toys and lingerie every so often.

Honesty is paramount:

Every person that has gone through a breakup knows the devil is in the details. Love must be nurtured with patience, perseverance, and companionship for a relationship to work.

Although it is easy to idealize your special someone and put them on a pedestal, nurturing a long-distance relationship demands honesty and assertive communication.

Yes, some people lie, but lying requires lots of energy and memory. Eventually, even the best liars get caught.

That’s why a quintessential habit of long-distance relationships that work is keeping it real.

Even when that requires shattering the idealization you’ve built using your unconscious fantasies as a chisel.

Illusions Versus Expectations:

Illusions and expectations are not the same.

Having the illusion of being together in the future doesn’t compare with expecting the other person to put everything on hold to pursue a love interest.

NEVER take the step of moving to another country without having confirmed, verified, and experienced first-hand that that country offers you plenty of opportunities for personal growth.

Sometimes the most well-intentioned relationships end. Romanticism is not what will feed you after you have sold everything in your home country.

Healthy self-esteem lies in providing yourself with the personal care you need to achieve your goals and stay safe.

Evaluate the most favorable scenarios carefully and decide based on what you both expect the future together will look like.

A person who loves you will know how to respect and wait for you. They will even help you make the decision that best suits you and your priorities.

More than a round-trip:

“Magical formulas” for relationships never work. Each relationship is unique according to the energy you both put into making it grow.

While these tips have worked for my husband and me living in different countries for more than three years, others might find that they can’t live apart.

However, if you are still determined to give it a try, I’m sure you’ll need to incorporate these habits into your daily routine to make it work.

Don’t give up! Share this article with your significant other and tell us everything about your love story in the comments.