Lonely or Alone

Summary

The text explores the distinction between being alone and feeling lonely, emphasizing that happiness and solitude can coexist and that sharing one's feelings can alleviate loneliness.

Abstract

The article delves into the nuanced difference between choosing to be alone and experiencing loneliness, highlighting that while some people find joy in solitude, others may feel lonely despite being surrounded by people. It discusses the impact of life events such as the loss of a partner or family dynamics, like those of a young woman who felt lonely after experiencing sexual harassment by her brother and the subsequent lack of support from her stepmother. The narrative suggests that opening up to someone can help unlock feelings of loneliness, leading to a more fulfilling solitary life.

Opinions

The author believes that being alone does not inherently equate to loneliness; it can be a fulfilling choice.
Older individuals may feel particularly lonely after losing a partner, but loneliness can affect people of all ages.
Some children prefer solitary play and may not feel lonely, indicating that solitude can be a preference rather than a negative state.
A personal anecdote is shared about a neighbor who chose to live alone after her husband's death, cherishing her memories and environment, suggesting that solitude can be a source of contentment.
The author recounts an encounter with a former student who felt lonely in social settings despite being surrounded by people, illustrating that loneliness can be experienced even in the company of others.
The narrative implies that trust and the willingness to share personal stories can help overcome loneliness, leading to a more connected sense of self and happiness.

The choice between lonely or alone

Some children like to play alone. Are they lonely or do they want to play alone and are not lonely?

Some of these issues bother me so much.

What I can understand from this is that a person is lonely when he/she is sad but when a person is alone, he/she may not be unhappy. It is a choice that is made of being solitary. Many people feel connected to themselves. They have unlocked themselves and are connected with their habits and work and lead a joyous life alone.

A neighbour of mine had plenty of beautiful possessions and money but after her husband died and she made the choice of living alone. She told her children, “I enjoy my solitude, you come and see me and spend time with me but don’t ask me to move because I have my memories attached to this place.” She was connected to herself and her environment and had unlocked loneliness.

Loneliness

I met a young independent lady at a party who was talking to a group. She had once been my student. When she met me and I made her comfortable and asked about her if she was enjoying herself, she said that she was interacting with people in the group but actually she had nothing to say and she felt lonely in that group.

She told me about herself. She said that she often feels tongue-tied and lonely even in a group because she does not want to talk. I began to ask her about her hobbies and then about her parents and grandparents and somehow, she began to trust me due to the old connection and poured out her heart.

Unlock your loneliness

She was a very young kid when her mother died and her father married again. Perceivably she had no problems with the mother until her brother came to stay with her and began sexually harassing her and the mother sided with her brother rather than the stepdaughter. Soon after, she went to stay with her grandmother and the environment was congenial but her sense of loneliness enveloped her and it continued to date. Having told me this story she was relieved and she felt healed.

As chance would happen, I met her again at the alumni lunch. She was delighted to meet me and had specially come because she was keen to meet me. Now, she said she was no longer lonely and she wanted to talk.

Often, we do not vent our feelings and carry on for years in that blocked state of mind. Trust and find a friend who will listen to your heart. Once you have unlocked yourself from fear, the loneliness will go and you may be alone but not lonely. You will be connected to yourself and this will bring a balance in your life and happiness in your activities.

Lonely or Alone

The choice between lonely or alone

I have seen many people who live alone and are very happy. Many others live among people and are still very lonely.

The choice between lonely or alone

Loneliness

Unlock your loneliness