Do The Dead Ever Really Leave Us?
My aunt’s true story about the night she locked eyes with the ghost of her dead cousin
A heart broken
My school teacher committed suicide when I was young.
She killed herself because she was in love with a man her family did not approve of.
At the time of her death, she was in her early thirties.
I remember waking to the sound of bloodcurdling screams in the early morning hours.
As we do in small villages, everyone runs towards the sound of the distress.
My teacher and cousin had committed suicide.
Her dad like my grandpa was also a rice farmer.
She was in love with a most unsuitable man. Her parents did not approve and she consumed deadly farming poison.
She was found dead in her bed the morning of the wailing.
I remember the day of the funeral.
The whole village came out to mourn, then again we are mostly all related, just in differing degrees of separation.
Her mother was so distraught, she sobbed dreadfully.
She then bent over the casket calling for her daughter to “get up!”, “get up Jenny!”
When Jenny did not rise, she began pulling at her and pulled Jenny out of her casket.
To the horror of the onlookers.
A day no one soon forgot.
Fast forward many years later.
The youngest sister was getting married.
The mother had learned her lesson and no longer segregated her kids like she once did. Though the damage had already been done.
This was the younger sister after Jenny, the now-deceased one.
In our culture, the night before the wedding is a big to-do.
There is singing and joyous games. Lots of food, fun, and dancing.
My aunt was at the melee.
At one point she finds herself sitting at the side of a doorway leading to a bedroom.
From her vantage point, she has a clear view of the bedroom but her sitting area is just beyond that bedroom door.
Suddenly her eyes saw someone.
The person was standing on the opposite side of the bedroom in front of the dressing table mirror.
She had not seen anyone pass in or out of the room but here this woman was standing there looking at her.
My aunt said they stared at each other for what seemed an eternity, she blinked and the woman was gone.
During the time they looked at each other she felt the hairs on her body rising and she vaguely noted that though the woman appeared to be solid, she seemed a little faded on the edges.
But the most disturbing features were the eyes — they appeared like glass marbles, empty of expression, lifeless and un-blinking.
There was an unnatural quality to the eyes that did not belong to someone that was alive.
My aunt said while the gazing took place, her mind kept thinking there was something familiar about the woman, though she couldn't quite place her.
She knew she was a cousin but something eluded her.
When she blinked and the woman disappeared, she was very puzzled.
Where had she gone?
From her vantage point, she could see into the bedroom and she was no longer in there.
She had not seen anyone go in or come out of the bedroom, and there was only one way in or out.
No one had passed her.
For the rest of the merry-making, she was so puzzled. Asking if anyone had seen the young woman and described the clothes she wore.
She began to suspect she had seen the deceased sister of the bride but did not really want to say it to her brother as they had to walk in the darkness on their way home.
Trust me it was very dark outdoors back then.
The next morning she woke and told my grandmother what she had seen, describing how the woman was dressed, what she looked like, and the eerie glassy look of the eyes.
She described the eyes as dead, with no life to them.
After my grandmother enquired of the relatives if a certain cousin was there last night, one of the other relatives told that it was Jenny because she had seen her last night as well.
Thoughts to ponder
As parents we love our children and want to keep them safe and happy.
Sometimes that desire can override commonsense.
In our quest for safety, we can stifle the natural growth and development of our children.
This evolves into a controlling relationship where the adult child feel they have no other recourse than to take their lives in an effort to be free of our chains.
How sad for all involved.
Though it is very difficult, we must learn to assign increased responsibilities.
We must teach decision-making skills as we allow them to grow and live their own lives even if we think they are making a mistake.
And in learning to let go, we avoid the pitfalls of the above parents.
Let go and let grow.
Another true story of life after life.
Pene Hodge is a mom, a nurse, a writer. She writes because she must. She loves people and is committed to sharing and gleaning knowledge for the betterment of all.
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