Lockdown Thinking.

Personal conjecture on how lockdowns have affected my thinking.

Lockdown Effects?

Pandemic lockdowns physical restrictions, Govt. communications engendered fear and kept me inside, Nearly two years.

Perversely think self-inflicted mental censorship side effect of physical lockdown.

During lockdowns read and thought incessantly and obsessively but in retrospect only accessing knowledge selectively.

Looking back, Didn’t really broaden mind, Perhaps deepened aspects and ignored other inputs.

Timid Thinking within my concrete box, Mostly read pandemic related science and medical publications.

Timid Thinking.

Reading key to defining me, Reading connects with on-line and printed knowledge, Enables exploration and opens new horizons, Reading exposes mind to sometimes bewildering diversity of views and truths lies and misinformation to ponder and perhaps adjust long held attitudes and beliefs, All this I believe is true.

Knowledge gathering is small facet of reading, Just as mind is much more than mere store of memories, Conventional thinking knowledge determines all I know and understand, Knowledge fuels thinking.

Today I see flaw in reasoning, Knowledge is not determinant, Rather interpretation of knowledge determines all I know and understand, Interpretation is affected by state of mind.

My dynamic mind continually reassess re-interprets and adjusts positions and decisions, Updates worldview, All this on demand according to current thinking task, Mostly happens automatically in what I term background processes.

Creating knowledge involves making sense of what I read and experience, Making sense requires associating inputs with worldview.

My thought, During pandemic lockdowns somehow cognition skewed through introduction of biased or emotional filters that modified my sense-making.

Sense-making involves complex feedback loops that change and enrich both worldview and understanding of new knowledge, Acquiring knowledge changes way I think, My conjecture, Timid thinking now part of me.

Can I alter Lockdown Changes?

Sense-making fires imagination to delve knowledge implications, Adapting to them and exploring new avenues, Following implications extends knowledge and creates connections with concepts that in-turn lead to creating more new knowledge, Once started lasts a lifetime, This thought gave me hope.

Practiced mindfulness for many years, Being aware and monitoring mind’s thinking, Started experimenting adding intervention to mindfulness monitoring.

Regaining Balance through Mindfulness.

Initially mindfulness intervention seemed perfectly reasonable, Monitoring the “now” of thought did not reveal conjectured timid thinking.

By pure good fortune, Beautiful 3801 locomotive steamed majestically past my astonished shopping trolley while walking to shops, Hurriedly took pictures, Wrote and published railfan story of happy times from fifty years ago, Here’s where I found difference in thinking.

Railfan trips were very much social happy activities, Memories of those far away times were outings with friends eating and drinking smoke and steam soot in eyes.

Pandemic lockdowns led to me avoiding any form of socialising, Despite my reluctance, I began positive re-integration with family and friends local community.

Positive Action.

Re-integration made of many little steps, No more doctor video consultations, Stopped weekly supermarket outings lacking interaction with shop assistants, Now shop each day talking with butcher baker and vegetable vendors, Visit weekly markets, Forest walks logs to sit on contemplating Gaia and talking to walkers like myself.

Extended exercises Extended daily walks Now drop into old familiar cafes and have some coffee, Black expresso double strength, Light conversations.

Providing seedlings to family friends, Seems myself and LED Garden can get stuff growing where others fail, Happy to help out, Just supplied flowering gums.

Now feeling much better inside, Somehow healthier, Taken time and just glad worked it through without medical interference.

We all have our life’s path, Different backgrounds, Different heritages, Different languages, Different attitudes, Not offering any advice, After all you have to make your own decisions.

Blessed be.