Living Life on the Edge

Don’t tiptoe! Just dive right in!

I was the only one in the group who jumped off the 30-foot cliff into Wailua River that spring morning.

“This is the spot where they shot Jurassic Park,” the tour guide said, while pointing to the top of the cliff. “They used a swinging rope for the movie, but for people’s safety, the city of Kauai had the rope removed. However, that won’t stop any of you from jumping, right?” he continued with a swift movement of his head, trying to gauge our insanity level and degree of terror that dilated our eyes more than an optometrist’s check-up.

While Marcus — our young, tanned tour guide — with the sinuous, nimble, and muscular body of a wild cat, got closer to the cliff, we craned our necks, trying to see the river below. He took his shoes off and told us that he would check the depth of the river for us.

Before we could respond back, he jumped off the cliff, floating like a bird in the air, after which he hit the water with a splash. And then there was laughter and a long shriek of excitement.

“Who’s next?” he hollered at us. We were all still looking down the cliff, as if expecting Marcus to fly back to us.

Everyone in our small group of about 15 people of various ages laughed and hollered back: “not me.”

“C’mon! You might not be as crazy as me, but I know you’re brave,” Marcus emphasized, rounding his lips — looking like a talking fish.

“I’ll do it,” I said, stepping forward and being brave or pretending to be, since they were all the same, as I recently read in The Four Winds novel by Kristin Hannah.

“Go for it,” said my hubby. “I’ll go down the path and take your picture.”

“All right, Carmen! Are you ready?” asked Marcus flapping his arms in the water — making big circles around him.

I looked down to the fast moving river below for a few seconds. I closed my eyes and jumped.

Years later, I view my jump as my daring summersault into this big, brave world that Paulo Coelho talks about when saying that we must not tiptoe into the water. Instead, we should dive right in, for the universe will conspire to help us achieve our dreams.

“Don’t live your life from the sidelines. Dive in deep and follow your dreams.” — Paulo Coelho

And while most of us live life from the sideline, or the edge of our personal cliff that we must overcome, I continue to dive right into projects and ideas with the certainty that something good will come out of it, even if I fail at first, or as Samuel Beckett said: “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

My free fall felt into Wailua River like an eternity. The void in my stomach — vast as the deepest gorge — reminded me how young and stupid I was in my 20s. Or should I say brave and daring to use an oxymoron?

After a few seconds of soul searching and sinking, I hit the water with a thunderous splash. I shrieked with delight and relief that I was still alive. The people in our group cheered loudly and enthusiastically as if I had won the gold medal in the Olympics.

I came out of the water and kissed my husband.

“Did you get my picture?” I asked him.

“I got it, honey!” he replied and showed me a dot suspended in the air.

I had proof of my leap of faith, of my courage to dive right in to follow my wildest dreams, as well as of my belief in fully immersing myself into life’s deep end.

I will not tiptoe or accept shallowness.

I will not tiptoe…