Living in Time of Struggle

Covid-19

Holding out the microphone. “I’m not an expert, I’m a survivor. I hope you can learn how to be one yourself.-Rose Wynters,

This is my first time being able to file for unemployment. Not only is it a huge hit in my self-esteem. But more importantly, having a job made me feel secure in myself. I am working. I am contributing. I can improve myself with what I have. This job is a stepping stone for better things. All of these encouraging thoughts like so many in the world have …stopped.

Better yet, I remember when deciding to move out to Washington State from New England Connecticut. I did it for what these kids these days would call a pipe dream love. I had this idea that someone loved me enough even after they moved across the country to want to be with me. To share their time with me. To share their fears, thoughts, problems, and issues with me. I turned down..a -gulp- promotion to come out here. It WAS my first move out away from my friends with nothing but myself to count on should things go South.

While trust is a fickle matter these days, I wish the society out here was more straightforward. The more I live out here…the more I want to go home. How can people kind to your face, but gloriously mean to you behind you’re back? Why not just be mean or sarcastic like the people of New England? ( On that statement, I do love my boyfriend as odd as we are together.)

I am an understanding and open person. Honest to the core. I shall not lie. I will not put another person down for the sake of feeling better. This is not something I will do. No matter the harsh conditions…what we need now is love. Not fear. Everyone is hurting. Everyone in the world is suffering. People are dying. Yet, they still find time to hurt one another.

It is a time of crisis and I have never been forcefully jobless before. When I was jobless for the few months in-between moving it was because I had the money saved up ahead of time. For me, this crisis falls between trying to replenish my savings and catch up on student loans. I am living off of crumbs for now. ( I have a refund with the IRS that I need to straighten out…but with Covid-19 going on…I have little time to look back on it. Although, I did send them an email.)

“What is important is not to fight, but to fight the right enemy” ― Bangambiki Habyarimana, The Great Pearl of Wisdom

My mother always told me “ If you can’t change it, don’t dwell on it.” I think right now, our society needs a little taste of hope, and an energetic push towards finding ourselves again. We have been chasing our wants through advertising, window shopping for women or men, driving ourselves insane for the latest technology, and often we have little time for our children.

A medical pandemic is considered one of the worst pandemics in history because we are usually ill-prepared, unaware, and lack the technology to fix the problem. Even with all of our technology now, we are still fighting a world pandemic. It is not nature’s way of bringing us back to ourselves. It is not her way of punishing us for forgetting her. I think this a lack of human ingenuity to realize that we are not the top dogs in the world. We may have a lot more than humans in the past. But we are far from being any different than they were.

With our governments shutting down in fear, and businesses laying off employees for a long period it means our finances are strapped. We watch the stock market with the hope that it won’t reflect the Great Depression. We breathe deep and catch our fear as it exhales into toxic air. All we have is the time right now. The spread of Covid-19 was a slow bleed into the world starting in December. Slow bleeds like this often take a wide hit across the world.

“ If you can’t change it, don’t dwell on it.”

Our suffering. Our pain. Our problems. Our desires. Our wants. It all mingles together to create an odd lump in our emotions. We are up. We are down. We want to rip each other’s heads off for small or insignificant behaviors related to our health. We are tired of not having jobs because we don’t have money. But the issue is here:

We have forgotten about loving each other. Being patient with one another. Being honest with one another. Being true to one another.

Asian hate crimes are happening larger than ever right now. People are pinning fault on a group that was hit the hardest. Honestly, no one brought the virus over. For all we know, the virus was already here because of birds or traveling pets. Confirming this is near impossible. But the thought itself makes you a tiny bit more understanding of each other. I won’t stand for hate. I won’t stand for bullying.

[I]n his last few moments of humanity, he was just a boy. A boy who had taken a stand against everything he feared, and had finally been set free.” ― Obie Williams, The Crimes of Orphans

Drowning can be a reflection of our society right now. We all are swimming into an edge of darkness. But with every darkness, there is a great light afterward. This has been seen in many countries who have overcome devastating natural disasters, and wars.

It is not how we enter darkness that makes us stronger. Rather, it is how we leave darkness that makes us better. Most of us are impatient for our jobs to come back because money is a real thing. Being homeless or being threatened to be homeless feels like a real threat right now. Through these trying times please, I implore you, to remember the words of appreciation and love. Encouragement can go a long way during these dark times.

On that note, what is with the current hoarding toilet paper trend? I would like to say this makes sense. But in reality, I am more surprised people are not hoarding food instead. I like the saying “ the world is ending, and my bum will stay clean forever.” It is not our bums that are infecting millions of people. But it is our closeness and touch that causes Covid-19 to spread. Let’s get real people.

If you want to hoard something…hoard cleaners, disinfectant wipes, bleach, and things that clean this virus away..not flush it. Not toilet paper. I mean…I am not worried about running out of toilet paper. However, cleaning supplies is in high demand right now.

“There are no uninteresting things, only uninterested people.” ― G.K. Chesterton

If you want to remain at peace during quarantine there will be times of boredom, angst, and anxiety while trying to rest and relax. Some families will get too much of a taste for each other and the house may be drastically chaotic unlike the normal.

Although everyone is writing about ways to do this, I think mine are more reasonably suited to those who have time, and don’t want to be overly productive but may need money regardless.

Clean

This may at first sound like a repeat offense. But I can not stress enough that cleaning out what you need versus what you want within the house can feel like a burden being uplifted. It is obvious that regular cleaning will happen in the house regardless but cleaning the house of items that are useful or taking up shelf space can free up stress and alleviate yourself from feeling entirely tied up financially.

By alleviating this stress, you allow yourself to feel at ease around a family which probably feels constrained due to quarantine at the moment. There are very few places open and even smaller places allowing people to walk in.

Going outside is nearly out of question due to this forced situation the world is in. Children are stressed cause they are missing out on education and after school activities. They might lash out more. A good solid reaction to this to get the kids involved in cleaning up their rooms, and deciding what to keep and what not to keep. It will teach them the power of compassion.

When it comes to staying healthy …give yourself space.

I do not mean physical space. I mean grievance space. Grievance space means accepting that you lost something no matter what it was. The way I am grieving is through words and reading. I don’t want to think about the sadness that is encumbering our families or the worry that everyone is having about our finances. We can’t change the situations we are in. But we can give ourselves mental space to grieve the things we love and lost. It could be a person, sport, or job.

But in the end, we all have time. We have an endless amount of it right now. However, it is what we do with it that will reflect for us in the future. Will we come out of this mess with more responsibility, and respect for money? Will the world start saving for the next pandemic? We have a lot we can improve on. But right now, the world just needs to grieve I think. Grieve the way you do and don’t feel like anyone has a right to tell you how to grieve.

Talk

Speaking is an essential way to acknowledge that you are not alone in the grievance that you are in. Panic in all due respect is considerable to the reaction of this virus. However, unjust communication will get you nowhere. What this means is that harsh punishment about one person having an unhealthy habit that may harm you is not the right path. Always reach about the issue before initiating solid punishment.

Rash and anger decisions without conversations can be a rude way of handling simple situations. Talk with your loved ones in a way that won’t push them to be upset or cause you emotional regret. We are all in this together. Please do not beat each other up emotionally. A toll has been given. We are all bearing it.

With this all said, we need to appreciate the time given because a lot of us beg for more time but then when we get it…we don’t know what to do with it. My real question is what are you doing to make a difference in this rough time?

I would like to thank Dr Mehmet Yildiz and Paul Myers MBAyers .

They have inspired me to write this post.