Living A Double Life as Two Different People Shouldn’t Happen.

Being someone else is a stressful job.

It’s no secret that people are different people when they’re with their parents, siblings, child, partner, co-workers, or friends. Having a double life as two different people is not as abnormal and uncommon as you think. It’s more common and normal than you think.

We share secrets with our friends that we don’t want to tell our parents. We share our secrets with our parents, which we don't want to tell our friends. We share secrets with our partner that we don’t want to share with our siblings. We share secrets with our siblings that we don’t dare to tell our parents or friends.

We keep a secret to one person but not to another. We’re afraid of being ourselves fully to those closest to us. Today it’s hard for people to be fully themselves all the time no matter who they hang out with. Living a dual lifestyle and having a double persona is more common than you think.

We tend to live a double life as having different personalities for many reasons. We could be a narcissist who is hiding our secret affair from our partner and don’t want to be caught, generally speaking. We keep a huge secret to protect other people in our lives. It could be you’re holy with your family and obey them, but you do whatever you want to do with your friends, sort of a rebellious lifestyle. Because you know your family will never accept your different lifestyle. It could be your hiding a huge secret because you feel embarrassed or guilty about it.

But changing your personality every time you’re with someone is not healthy. It’s like you’re shapeshifting into another persona each time. It’s close to like being schizophrenia. You are living in a parallel universe. You live in two different worlds. Who is the real you in the end?

It’s hard to be who we truly are to our loved ones. We’re limiting our personality to make them accept us the way they see us. Even if we aren’t our truest Self when they meet us. I know someone who is not Muslim, but her family still believes she is Muslim. She knows that if she tells them the truth, they will never accept her anymore.

At home with family, you’re at your best behavior with manners and respect. With friends, you’re being rebellious. This is very common. Many have been there before. It’s just what it is. It’s the reality of today.

Why are we doing this?

We live a double life because we don’t want to get caught. We are protecting someone. We live a double life because we know our closest ones will never accept our different lifestyles. We hide things out of guilt and embarrassment.

We have a double life for good intentions (protecting someone, etc.) and bad intentions (affairs, etc.)

We’re changing ourselves to please others. We are afraid of rejection. We are afraid of being rejected for being our true self. Rejected for who we really are. Being rejected for being simply us.

There are things happening in our life that we don’t want to share without family because we feel embarrassed by it, so we share it with our friends. It’s OK to keep private stuff to yourself or your closest ones. It’s a problem if you continue being secretive every time with your family and friends. You make them wonder what’s going on and why you don’t trust them.

There is a difference between keeping private things to yourself and being secretive all the time. It makes people more suspicious of you. What are you hiding from?

You have to be true to yourself and others. Being someone we’re not is an exhausting, stressful job. You don’t want that. You always have to make plans of what to say and hide as if it’s a job. It shouldn’t be a job. Being yourself is not a job, it’s freedom. The more you’re being yourself to others, the more freedom you have.

If you’re being two different people, you’re won’t be seen as truthful and authentic to others. It means you have lied many times and will lie again. People won’t rely on you. Living a double life can destroy the life of your family and friends. It can be detrimental and damaging to your life. You’ll betray their trust, even if you have a good intention of protecting them from something. You’ll be lying to people out of guilt, shame, and embarrassment. One day they will find out you have lied all along. Either you have to tell the truth, or your secret will be revealed to others once you got caught.

Truth must be heard, even if it’s uncomfortable. Your people prefer to hear the uncomfortable truth about you than being lied for years. That’s more heartbreaking. It can lead to unexpected consequences of losing important people in your life.

“I would much rather be hurt by the truth than to be hurt by a lie.”

You can never please people. No matter how hard you try, you’ll lose. It’s not to be cruel or harsh. It’s just what it is. And it’s a good thing because you shouldn’t stress about pleasing others.

Living a double lifestyle is a stressful, unpaid job.

Be yourself. All the time. No matter who you encounter with. Be yourself when you’re with your family, friends, etc. 100%

You don’t have to share all your private secrets with them if you don’t feel comfortable with it yet or at all. You can keep your private stuff to yourself unless you’re comfortable sharing it with a trusted family member or friend. It could be your mother or your best friend that you trust.

You should be able to express your honest opinion on various topics to your family and friends. You should be able to express what type of music you like to your family and friends. You should be able to express how your day went. You should be able to express how you truly feel and what’s going on in your life. Be honest with your loved ones, bluntly and transparently without any filter. It’s OK to speak up against your family and friends if something isn’t feeling right.

I used to feel fearful of being mocked and ridiculed for being an adult watching animation and kid’s movies. Now I don’t care. Because this is who I am. That’s the person I am. I’m a grown-up adult who enjoys family-friendly animation movies. I’m a child by heart. I love the creativity and fantasies in the kids and animation movies because I’m a creative person who dreams of a fantasy world. That’s me. I shouldn’t hide it from “serious adults” who says it’s only for kids.

Have the courage to express who you really are as a person, and don’t worry about what they’ll think of you.

It could be that you fear they’ll laugh at you then ridicule you.

The best thing you can do is to not care.

You may get rejected but that doesn’t mean you should change into a different person to please them.

Just be yourself.

Thank you for reading my article! My pen name is Suzan Dalia and I’m a writer. My goal is to write articles that her readers can think and learn from. I write anything like essays, health, wellness, lifestyle, personal stories. I share my wisdom, inspirations, and motivational content to lift people’s souls.

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