If you want to be more successful in life try being more proactive

You can play the blame game or you can play the change game. The choice is up to you.

by: E.B. Johnson

Life is full of unexpected situations. When obstacles come our way, there’s two ways to react: you can either blame the circumstances around you or you can analyze it and commit to making a change.

It’s easy to blame the world around us for our problems. Heck, its easier. This kind of reactionary thinking stunts our personal (and professional) growth, though, and it’s precisely this kind of thinking that keeps us chained to all our negative behaviors and appetites.

If you want a better, more successful life you need to get proactive about making changes.

Proactive thinking means relying on your own choices and know-how to get you out of life’s stickiest situations. It means taking control of a situation — no matter how it came about — rather than putting your hands up in the air and simply waiting for things to “work out”.

A proactive person is a problem solver. They are growers, movers and shakers. When tricky things happen, the proactive person says “I can change this,” rather than “I give up.”

If you’re not this person, don’t panic. Most of aren’t born to proactivity, we develop it like any other skill.

You can uncover your proactive side and make major changes in your personal and professional life with just a few simple tweaks. Even if the proactive diva is hidden inside you, she can be reached. You just gotta give her a little push.

The 7 Best Habits for Developing Your Proactive Nature

When you work on developing a proactive mindset, you actually boost your confidence and your sense of fulfillment. You can transform your life from sideline to center-field, but it takes time and it takes practice.

1. Start taking responsibility for your own messes.

The first step in becoming a more proactive person is to start being accountable for your mistakes.

We are all human and we all make mistakes. Accept that you’re no better than anyone else and embrace your errors. When we mess up, it’s actually a great opportunity to learn. These setbacks can teach us what does and doesn’t work, and can also help us identify our own weaknesses and limits.

Instead of blaming someone else for your mess, consider the things that brought you to where you are in your life in this current moment. Was it the choices of someone else that brought you here, or your own? Be honest in your answer and embrace it — no matter how uncomfortable that truth might be to swallow.

2. Consistency is key. Be a person of your word.

When your words and your actions don’t align with what you preach, people notice. Consistency is key and when we’re not consistence the people around us stop relying on us. What’s worse? We stop relying on ourselves.

Be more proactive by doing what you say you’ll do, when you say you’ll do it. Learning to do what you say will improve your leadership skills and will allow you to get more things done in a shorter amount of time. Whether you make promises to yourself or to other, stick to them.

If you can’t do this, learn that it’s probably wiser to promise nothing at all. Make your deadlines realistic and avoid over-promising your friends to skip out on those ultra-flakey moments. Be honest with yourself. Don’t overextend.

3. Switch to solution-focused thinking.

Problems arise and, when they do, it can hard to be focus on anything but the problem. This type of thinking is incredibly toxic, however. It’s better to stay focused on the solutions at hand if you want to become a more proactive person.

Focusing on the problem (rather than the solution) will make you feel overwhelmed and depressed. Those negative emotions make it hard to get anything done and they can even have a negative impact on our health.

Instead of focusing on things that you can’t control (a la: the problem) try focusing on the solution instead, and the things that you can do to control that solution. Accept that fact that everyone has setbacks and embrace the learning opportunities that the setback provides.

When you focus on the outcome, rather than the current state of affairs, you’ll become inspired, driven and more energized. These positive emotions will make it easier to tackle your days and the challenges that arise.

4. Put your needs first.

Putting your needs first has nothing to do with being selfish, but it does have everything to with making sure you have the emotional and physical strength to be there for others.

Being sad and unhappy leaves you in no fit state to be of use to co-workers or friends and family you love. When we’re down and cycling around feelings of depression, we’re unavailable and when we’re unavailable we aren’y fully engaged in life.

Focus on taking care of yourself and fulfilling the spiritual, physical, mental and emotional needs that you have. When you’re full of joy and energy you can rejoice, and you can rejoice with the people around you.

No one will make your life great for you, but they will ask you for your help. Make sure you can be there for others by being there for yourself first.

5. Set smarter goals.

There’s a lot to be said for dreaming, but setting goals that are too lofty can hurt us in the long run.

According to psychologists, unrealistic goals can generate disappointment and a sort of stubborn belligerence when it comes to growing and changing. On the flip side, setting realistic and achievable goals can actually give you confidence and help amp-up your motivation.

Create smaller goals that can lead you down your path to success gently and in phases. Use the SMART method of goal setting in order to create clearly defined goals that you can achieve.

• S: (Specific) Pick specific goals with definable and measurable results.
• M: (Measurable) Make sure that the goals you set can be measured in concrete terms.
• A: (Attainable) Ensure that your goals are attainable. You should really be able to reach them and it shouldn’t take any miraculous circumstances.
• R: (Realistic) Your goals must be realistic in order to work. Be honest with yourself and don’t set goals outside of your means.
• T: (Timely) Give your goals a set timeframe and stick to it. This sense of urgency will keep you driven.

6. Learn to rely on yourself.

Stop relying on the people around you to solve your problems. If you want something fixed, do it yourself and take the initiative to do.

The fastest way to get something done is to do it yourself, and that fastest road to success is through proactivity. Work on problems yourself and solve them yourself instead of waiting for others to do the worst of the work for you.

This lesson doesn’t just reply to our friends, family and spouses, though.

Stop relying on the “right time” or “a bit of luck” to go after the things you want. Time isn’t going to deliver anything on a silver platter to you and neither is Lady Luck.

Don’t rely on the right time to come. Make it the right time.

7. Figure out how to analyze your decisions before they’re made.

When we’re stuck in a reactionary mindset we are far more likely to act spontaneously to the stimuli and setbacks around us. While we might think these spontaneous reactions are “well thought out” or “well-planned” they’re not, and they never can be until you learn to analyze your decision-making process.

Before acting, think of all the consequences your action might bring. Don’t just consider the short term, think of the long-term as well. Make sure you’ve exhausted all the options.

Use your analytical skills to analyze your initial reaction to the problem and what made you react that way. Compare this situation to any other similar situation you might have encountered in your past. What were the outcomes of those situations? Were they ideal? How did they impact you and how could you have changed those outcomes?

Proactive people can predict the results of their actions because they spend a lot of time analyzing their current and past behaviors and decisions. Take the behavior of others into account and realize that you can’t control every aspect of every situation.

You can control your hand in the situation, though, and often this holds more of a controlling stake than we realize.

Putting it all together…

Having a proactive mindset can dramatically transform your life. When we take a more active hand over the direction of our lives we are able to generate more success. When we’re proactive, we’re able to stand confident in our own authority and chase our goals with an absolutely fearsome determination.

If you want to be more proactive, learn to analyze your actions and identify the ways in which you impact the problems that arise around you. Learn to rely on yourself and set smart, attainable goals. Take responsibility for your own messes and the part you played in them. Put your needs first and start focusing on solutions, rather than problems.

Come closer to life you want by becoming more proactive. Take charge of your day and your destiny one step at time.