Fitness
Listening to My Body
it knows what is needed
My cheap ass fitness tracker broke. The electronics still work but the strap fell apart. I considered the $50 replacement, but I thought — Is this a need? Do I need to track my steps? Do I need to track my fitness minutes? Do I need a minute by minute update on my heart rate? The tracker was a habit. Letting go of old habits calls for a replacement of that energy. About three or four days without clutching my watch in my hand while I ran on my hamster wheel, an idea pinged. Listen to myself. My body knows how much exercise feels good. My body knows how fast or how long a run should be. I know what days I can push or rest if I feel my muscles and breath. My only goal is daily movement, anyway. On days when time is short or I’m tired, I quit running after 10 minutes. On energized days (aka weekends), I jog longer. Stretching instead of running in the early morning has called to me. This week I listened. Without videos or guides — I engage in stretches that — gasp! — feel good. I hold them as long as I like. My diet has been shit for a month. I deny myself, then binge on my husband’s snacks that contain ingredients my body cannot process: garlic, onion, and milk. Today, I bought myself plain chips. No more denial, which causes worse choices. My body needs snacks. Eat the snacks my body handles with ease. Hopefully, in a few days, I will feel better. Less gas. Sleep I am still working on. During my childhood, I struggled to fall asleep. In adulthood, anxiety and myself, I slept for five or six hours a night for twenty years. Until I became ill from not sleeping enough. But I never enjoyed sleep until my anxiety relief pills. Along with some temporary sleep-inducing medication. I slept — deeply. For three straight nights. And I fell in love with sleep. Nevertheless, I find it difficult to go to bed early and sleep for eight hours. Old habits. Replace with something new. No screens after ten PM. Replace any time after 10 PM with writing. Phone off to stop. No need to optimise my life. No need for perfection or anxiety. Just quiet listening to my body and less screentime. Listen to your body instead of apps and gadgets. You know what you need.