Travel Blog

Listening to Locals Abroad as a Woman With Anxiety

Taking adventuring advice from informed locals has led me to treasure time and time again

The bridge in this photo lives in the Garvan Botanical Gardens in Hot Springs, Arkansas. It is called “The Bridge of the Full Moon” for obvious reasons. The following is the story about how we almost missed the moon.

As a traveler with anxiety, it is imperative for me to find comfort in chaos. This has never been my strong suit, but it is one way to avoid traveling unravellings and panic attacks.

One way I have found to steer my way back to joy is to find an informed local and take their adventuring advice. This takes the pressure off of me and adds a human connection to my exploration.

The garden grounds

When we arrived at Garvan Botanical Gardens in the fall of 2019, we picked up a visitors’ map and began to march off dutifully down the cement path leading to the luscious grounds and Japanese Maple canopy of their botanical wonderland.

We were stopped partway by a volunteer who pointed out the bridge on the map and said, “Whatever you do, don’t cross over the bridge. There’s an alternative path. Walk around.”

Confused, we asked if the bridge was unsafe.

They explained to us that most people just don’t realize that the walk around is prettier; we wouldn’t get the full view and meaning of the bridge by standing on top of it. It turns out, they were right.

We walked around as the guide suggested.

I can still see and hear the shimmering, whispering water flowing beneath the bridge like magic. We even saw the architecture of the bridge play with daylight to create the vision of a full moon.

I’d never thought about the beauty of a bridge. I’d never thought about what we’d miss if we took the obvious path. Our walk around gave me an alternative perspective, one that was more lovely than our original plan.

The beauty of the walk around

Some of my greatest travel moments are unexpected and follow my relieving myself of the need to control or lead.

Anxiety writes a variety of coping mechanisms into my days, including a compulsive need to be in control of every step and second to feel safe.

This control feels comfortable, even essential, but it holds me too tightly and keeps me from enjoying the unexpected.

If I had insisted on my original, map-touting, over-the-bridge route, we would have never seen the moon!

Listening to kind, knowledgeable voices abroad

I smile each time I remember my joy at realizing that we were blessed to see the full moon bridge create its artful “day moon” on the calendar full moon.

Giving up control, indeed. I couldn’t have planned it better myself.

Listening to an outside voice and trying a bit of trust in travel allows me to practice seeking an experience that is greater than I imagine.

The road to my best life may not be the obvious road. It might not even appear on the map.

Perhaps it is only visible on the walk around.

I’m Brett Jenae Tomlin, The Anxious Enthusiast.

If you love, love, love my writing and want to shout out, “You get it, anxious girl!” You can contribute to my cookbook collection here or join Medium to put your own stamp on the web and the world. I get a little love if you use my link ^^