Listening. It is Important.

What?

It’s Saturday, and although today seems no different for me from any other day, it appears to be more productive writing-wise. This will be the fourth article I’ve written today. I don’t know why, but it seems like my brain is firing on more pins today than normal.

As an avid reader, I always have several books going at once. The book I’ve been reading most these days is from the Sudden series. Vidya Surya talked about the series, a Western, written by Oliver Strange beginning in the 1930s about a hero cowboy named Sudden in a story at Medium here.

I’m also reading a little bit in Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg. I bought that book about a year ago as a resource for my Get a Job books. I have one small tiny habit now, suggested in the book, of saying, “It’s a great day,” as my feet hit the floor as I get out of bed. The plan is to read more in the book, develop more of my own tiny habits, and get even more motivated to write.

My husband and I have books on every surface in the house: bedroom, study, living room, and bathroom. I was in the reading room just now and was going to pick up my Kindle for a little more in the Sudden book, and a voice in my head said, “No, not that one!” I said, “Okay, which one?” They indicated my copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. This is one of those required reading books for successful business people written in 1936. My husband took the salesmanship course offered by Dale Carnegie years ago. It helped him a lot, and he ended up as an unpaid team teacher for years, learning more and more after the initial class. I knew right away this was a good book to read. Anyway, I picked it up, and rather than start at the beginning, I opened the book at random and started reading. Mr. Carnegie was talking about how important it is in life to be a good listener.

The in-person courses my husband took had to have been over thirty years ago, and, as I recall, they cost over $1,000. The experience he received being one of the teaching assistants later on helped him to internalize the instruction even more. I looked online just now with the Pandemic behind us; that might have been when the Dale Carnegie classes stepped into the modern age with much more online content. There are lots of 2-hour online courses for $299 a pop. There are also the three-day in-person courses for about $2,195 a pop. It was expensive then. It is still expensive now. But I’m sure it has just as much value now as it did when my husband took the courses. Dale Carnegie started offering classes in 1912. They’re still going on now and are also offered worldwide.

We all, as writers, have stories to tell, whether they are fiction or non-fiction it’s about stuff that has either happened to us personally or stuff that has happened to other people. We learn about these things by reading and being attentive to written material or by listening to others tell their own stories.

Mr. Carnegie spoke in his book about how he went to a party once, and instead of circulating and talking to all the other guests who had been invited, he ended up listening to one person who was a botanist for the whole evening. He said it was informative, and he learned a lot during the course of the evening. Later on, that guest mentioned to the host that he’d had the most enjoyable evening speaking with Mr. Carnegie. Except, Mr. Carnegie said he hardly said two words. Mostly, it was the botanist who talked.

I find that I get more inspiration from reading other Medium writers, both with their own pieces and also in the comments the members leave for myself and for other writers. This is the important listening part that I’m referring to.

One thing that became apparent in my last long-term job was the importance of listening to our customers. In the office, we could count on the only time that a customer reached out to us was likely when they’d had a bad experience. Once in a blue moon, there would be a compliment, but for the most part, they were problems. Generally, each site’s manager was responsible for taking care of customer complaints. As time went on and we all got older, more and more of those complaints seemed to make their way to the main office.

That was when we all stepped up our listening skills in the main office. The rule was to find out what had happened and what the customer wanted to have happen (eviscerations aside) and especially to lend a sympathetic ear. I would take notes and, at the end of the conversation, would relate back to the customer what they had just told me. That was my opportunity to correct my telling of their story. I promised I would forward the complaint to the appropriate people. The customer generally went away appeased. You might be surprised how many of them just wanted an apology.

I completed the assignment by writing out the complaint and forwarding it to the boss. He would then either take care of the matter himself or direct me to send it on to the manager or to someone else. The important thing is that we needed to really listen to our customers.

The other thing about our customers was we wanted them to be able to tell good stories about us. That is the best sort of advertisement any company could want. It is unpaid, and for somebody to tell five of their neighbors about the extraordinary service they received at our company was more, much more than any advertising campaign. It is grassroots advertising, doesn’t cost a thing, and points out the importance of listening.

It is amazing how just listening to somebody is exactly what they want.

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