Listening

I’ve cultivated the love of your Essence, a sparkling light, as I gently listen to my heart and voice.

I am forever on a journey of finding you, my little girl, clever, and bright like the sunshine, who enjoyed running in the garden, giggling and swung up to the sky.

The girl had always trusted me, wanting me to hold her in my arms. But I was living in a duality of my life. She reminded me of the pains, tears, and the agonies I’d dwelled with armor.

After I failed my attempt, I wanted to erase her, the reminder of my shadow. So I hid the girl deep inside the box, the old rusty wooden treasure chest, and sunken it into the deepest ocean trench.

It wasn’t anyone but me who had deserted and refused to see, hold and cuddle the little girl. I’d sabotaged my little girl throughout my life. I’d placed my palms over my ears and only whispered to myself. Because I was scared.

It was when I was writing my book* the box floated buoyantly with bubbles, the burps of the ocean caused by the shifts of the ocean plates and the earthquake.

I opened and looked into the wooden chest. There she was, as tiny and lively as she used to be. She was clever, genuine, compassionate, and still as joyful and brilliant as a light.

It became the beginning of my battles. I’ve tossed my body, moaning, groaning, and struggling to accept her, the little one.

I’d accepted the shadow of everything before, whatever had transpired in my life. But why has taking this little girl with a genuine smile threatened me and frightened me to death?

Why…?

It’s because she is my Essence, the Essence of me. Light — the Essence of the little girl. Embracing who you truly are requires courage.

After years of acquiring, I’ve learned to listen to you, the little girl who is no longer hidden. She is now busy running around with her dog, giggling and laughing in her garden, then she sits next to me, listening to me, smiling.

I’ve learned to listen to you, my little one. I’ve cultivated the love of your Essence, a sparkling light as I gently listen to my heart and my voice you’ve emerged and then merged into me

We’ve become in One

*My first memoir, “A Sky of Infinite Blue — A Japanese Immigrant’s Search for Home and Self,” is now “pre-orderable” in major bookstores in many countries. Thank you for your warm, heartfelt support, and I am so grateful that my spiritual journey continues every day as I am a student of life.

Please kindly visit these poems, which describe some background.

Thank you, Lucy Dan 蛋小姐 (she/her/她), for reading, publishing, and hosting on your fabulous platform, The Brain is a Noodle, where I posted my first poem about ten months ago. Thank you, Dr Mehmet Yildiz Donna L Roberts, PhD (Psych Pstuff) Michael Burg, MD (AKA Medium Michael Burg) Yana Bostongirl Bill Abbate Pierre Trudel Lanu Pitan Donnette Anglin Jill (Conquering Cognitions) Peter Wynn A Rustic Mind (Manali Desai) and many other friends writers and readers.