Listen to Everyone, Except Yourself

A short way to hate your life

We might try to follow the advice of others in the hope that we won’t disappoint them. It might be your father, mother, or anyone close to you. As a result, you will make a lot of compromises with yourself. You will start losing what you truly are. Because your life will become a reflection of people's expectations rather than your inner self, you will hate it. You will also lack the success you wished for because you can’t put forwards your unique qualities. You’ve been fooled. A trick has been played on you. You think this realization hit you too late, but you are wrong. You can still change.

The dotted line of your life

I was watching this Netflix Tv Show called Tear Along the Dotted Line, which made me remember my doubts about where my life was heading.

The show is fantastic, is one of the great things you never hear about. It’s about a cartoonist that reflects upon his life. Besides the amazing animation and pieces of dialogue, the show itself touches on the idea of living based on a dotted line of safety.

This line keeps you in comfort, it is made of social expectations and worries about your future. Zero the main character is a devoted follower of the Dotted line.

A blade in the grass

The Mathematics teacher

Back in high school Zero thought he was a genius. He understood Trigonometry and solved problems with ease, making his mathematics teacher proud.

When he started to learn algebra his performance was terrible, and the teacher that once was proud now was completely disappointed. He believed that he failed her, that his bad performance was making her day horrible.

He lived thinking that he was a failure, for being bad as a student, and also letting down his teacher.

This idea fell apart after Zero had a conversation with a friend, that made him realize that he was just another child for that teacher.

He thought that he was the center of her universe when in reality he was just another kid.

She didn’t even know his name, she would misspell it, because she thought Zero was another kid from one of her classes.

He realized that he was simply a blade in the grass.

Your failures will be lost in time

We try to live in the fear of pleasing others. The harsh reality is that they don’t even care about you. Everyone is caught up in their own problems, and they have very little time to care about you, and the mistakes you might make.

A lot of people are afraid to do something bold with their life because they fear the social outcome of that. People will laugh at you and you will be remembered as a loser for the rest of your life.

In the era of the internet, people forget things within seconds. Even if in your attempt to do something outrageous, and you fail miserably, people will remember it for a very brief time.

Acting your feelings

Zero’s romance

Zero had a crush on a girl for years. They talked but he never mentioned how he truly felt about her. He feared making any move. So he didn’t do any.

In order to justify his fear, he created a story about the situation. A story that was not real. He believed that the girl he loved didn’t have any feelings for him. In reality, she also loved him and tried to approach him, time and time again. He simply ignored her attempts, because his fear made him blind to reality.

Constructing a shield of lies

In order to have success, you might have to make riskier decisions. Fear might arise because of the risk involved, and with the fear will emerge the lies.

You will start telling yourself, that successful people are rare, and you are not one of them. Success is a fairy tale, something that is reserved for movies and books, nor for life.

You will ignore any evidence that contradicts your new reality, the lies will consume you bit by bit.

Following fanatically the dotted line of safety will be your new life quest. You will lie to yourself, blind yourself and do anything in your power to shield your mind from the possibility that you might be wrong.

Success is not possible by risking, you shall live conforming to whatever social expectation exists, is the best you can do, is the best that anyone can do.

Tear the dotted line of your life

Some people manage to follow the dotted line of safety and find some success, just enough to not have to think about what they wanted to begin with.

Others will reach the horrible realization that even if you follow every bit of advice that keeps you in the comfort of social expectation, you still fail, miserably.

Zero realized this, following the dotted line also leads to problems. Even if you do everything in your power to play it safe, you can still fail, you can still plunge into an abyss.

‘’I learned that you can fail at doing what you don’t love so you might as well do what you love ‘’— Jim Carrey

Jim Carrey talked about this, his father was a fantastic saxophone player, but he couldn’t follow his passion because of the responsibilities he had. He became an accountant. At age 51, he lost that job. Leading to a lot of problems for him and his family.

I am not saying that you should quit your job and start doing whatever you please. Some of you might have responsibilities that have to be taken care of.

But don’t forget about yourself. With every passing year, you grow older and more incapable of making a change. Make a strategy, it might take months, years, or decades, but you will have a plan that has your heart within it.

If you feel miserable, lost, and don’t know where is life is going. Sit with yourself, think about what do you want. Make any tiny step you can towards your dream.

Tear the dotted line, and transcend your condition by working towards what you believe to be important.