Life Unto Death
Reflections Of An Old Man
The last chapter of my life is well underway Though the ending remains shrouded Some things are clear Energy level is frustratingly low Aches and pains are on the rise As if I needed any reminder of my mortality Have attended many wakes and funerals in recent years Obituaries have replaced sports As the first section of the newspaper that I read
Self-pity is always lurking Looking for a moment of weakness Waiting for an opening to overwhelm me To take control I refuse to succumb to its siren call
Death is ever present in my consciousness For it’s a certainty all face Dwelling on this too much Is a path that can lead to depression Or worst case Despair
But I refuse to take that path The sun still shines(occasionally) Family and friends offer support Love to the extent I allow it My faith provides light in the darkness Hope that there is more to come That the promise of Easter will be fulfilled
My ego threatens to undermine my will My pride rebels against surrendering my will to an Other On one hand it finds a satisfying logic To there being a Prime Mover A purpose behind life On the other In seeking to understand everything My utter failure to do so Clinging to my mirage that I’m the center of my universe Feeling utterly alone There are the times When nothing makes sense Leaving me wishing only To curl up in a fetal position And cry
When I quiet my mind Hush the inner child There are glorious moments When grasping intuitively That the spark of divinity which illuminates my soul Cannot be extinguished ever For its destiny lies in returning from whence it came Back to the Source Of All Being A loving and personal divinity
With this vision my spirit bursts with joy This feels right Natural My true path
The vision never lasts I’m not courageous enough to accept it fully My faith is fragile But I’m a lover of happy endings I believe in them It is part of who I am So I choose to live my life according to my best hopes Knowing that I will face repeated bouts with doubt That I will fail to meet my expections of myself Many more times before my final breath I affirm life as good and meaningful Accepting that I am loved I shall stay on the path until the time arrives For my final leap into eternity Into Her arms