Life Truths Every 30-Year-Old Woman Needs To Hear Over and Over Again

Wisdom to anchor you in your life’s journey.

“In an era where women undress their outfits & give their bodies so carelessly, become the rare wild woman that undresses her mind and soul & knows the worth of what she has to offer.” ― Nikki Rowe

Wanting no children doesn’t make you any less of a woman, nor does it make you selfish. Your value isn’t attached to your ability or willingness to bear children.

Society makes us feel wrong about choosing to live the way we want. If that means being childless, that’s okay.

You’re a woman simply because you are here. Because you exist, and that alone should be enough.

The best way to be in control of your life is to establish your standards upfront. At times we wait too long to say what we think for fear of upsetting others, but the truth is, each time you suppress your needs, something chips away inside you.

You feel like a fraud, and nothing stings like your own conscience judging you.

Worse of all, people will never give you what you want unless they know what you need. This is where standards come in.

Granted, not everyone will like what they hear, and not everyone can give you want you to need. And that’s okay. You have to get comfortable with people falling off the sidelines. Because in the end, it’s only worth having people who get you and respect what you’re about.

As we get older, we lose our flame. We get too soft. Too fluffy. We sit and watch as our dreams fade into the shadows of our past. We wonder what happened to the girl who burned with passion and ambition.

If this sounds familiar, please know you’re not alone. Too many women have walked this path.

Here’s the thing, though; You need not stay there.

You can get your fire back. You can get your health back, you can get your dreams on track again. You can reclaim the person you used to be.

The way to do it is to take one step at a time.

One kilometer at a time. One phone call at a time. One chapter at a time. One decision at a time. Then when you’re at it, remember to be patient with yourself.

Beyond this, everything is possible.

“Every woman has within herself the power to do whatever she puts her mind to.” ― Adriana Vandelinde

We are all victims in one way or another — victims of our pasts, childhoods, relationships, upbringing, society, and parents.

Despite our filtered posts on social media, the reality is that we all struggle with something. Some more than others. But, it doesn’t have to be gloom and doom.

There’s good news, and it’s that you aren’t as helpless as you think.

You may not get to choose the cards life hands you, but you always have a choice as to how you react to them. And yes, wallowing in your misery for years on end and allowing yourself to be defeated is always an option — one which, sadly, too many settle for.

But you don’t have to.

You can get back up. You can make calls. You can reach out to someone. You can forgive yourself. You can forgive them. You can let go because that’s how you heal. You can train yourself to get good at something one day at a time.

There’s always a way.

You’re not a bad mother if you don’t raise your kids the way other women raise theirs. You’re not failing if you can’t afford the luxuries other women have.

Material possessions help. Privileges make life easy. But they aren’t the true measure of motherhood. You’re a good mother if you’re doing what you know is the best you can for your kids.

At times, that can only mean providing for them and missing their Tennis game because you have to work many jobs. Other times, it can only be offering guidance because you’re not in a position to work because of a health issue.

And all that is enough. You’re a good mother if you’re doing the best you can with what you have.

Every time you say yes to one thing, you say no to another. Saying yes to pursuing your ambition means saying no to sleep and playtime with your tots. Sating yes, to healthy relationship boundaries means saying no to relationships that don’t serve you.

Life is a trade-off. The problem is, it’s not easy to accept it.

So we try to hold on to everything, which means we end up with nothing. If you devote yourself to everything, you spread yourself thin and end up with nothing substantial.

You win this battle by accepting that you can’t have everything. Not at the same time. You’ll have to learn to live without some things if you want others. The question is, do you know what you really want?

Do you know what’s worth sacrificing for?

It’s possible to walk away from a marriage that doesn’t make you happy. But at times, it’s not. The price can be too high, the compromise too great. It’s the kids, money, status, influence, reputation.

I’m a firm believer that what a woman decides to do with her unhappiness is her decision because only the wearer of the shoe knows how it fits.

Here’s the thing, though; you have to know what you’re sacrificing for. If you’re with a man you can’t stand, you have to ask yourself what you can get out of the relationship.

Don’t get too caught up in your dashed hopes and dreams. Your crown may be shattered. You may no longer be his princess, but your life is much larger than that. More complex than that. It can amount to so much.

So, you need to find a lifeline and pull yourself out of the darkness. Turn the odds in your favor. Build your own oasis in the middle of the desert.

One of the smartest ways to navigate life is to always follow what you need, not what you want. We get those two twisted so many times. It’s not surprising that we lose focus on what is meant to make us truly happy.

What you want changes from time to time. What you need remains relatively the same.

Money and success may be what you think you want, but freedom may be what you really need. You might think you want a man by your side when what you need is love and acceptance.

If you figure out what you need, you’ll find ways of getting it. Learn to lean into yourself and listen to the whispers of your soul because that’s how you’ll know what you really need.

One of the lessons I wish I had learned earlier is that what I have may not be enough, but it can be if I decide it is. And that the biggest impact in my life will come from taking what I have and doing the best I can with it.

If you’re like me, you’ve spent years drooling over other women’s lives, dreaming of traveling the world like them. Of owning their lives.

But, looking over the fence can never make your grass green, no matter how long you look.

The only way to water your grass is to shift focus to yourself. It’s to work on what you already have. What we often forget is that some of those you envy probably started with far much less than what you have.

So start imagining how much you can do with what you already have. Those who win aren’t the ones focused on the next guy. They are the ones who keep running their own race the best they can.

May these life truths guide you for the rest of the year:)