Life Lessons That Stick, From A 15 Year Veteran On The Front Lines Of Marriage
After 15 years together, here is what I know about love.
When you’ve been married as long as me, you get to know a few things.
Time plus love is a magic formula that shines a light on darkness, creates breathing space, and teaches lessons whether or not you want to learn them.
My journey to love was long and complicated, but well worth it. If I could go back and change my life, knowing where it’s lead me, I’d suffer everything again just to get to where I am now.
So on this May 20, 2020, the fifteenth anniversary of the day that changed my life forever, here are a few tidbits I’ve picked up along the way.
*** Don’t tell my husband, but I have Izzy Fontaine from Spandau Ballet coming over tonight to rock out some basslines from his favorite songs. (If you get this reference, let me know in the comments, and I will instantly be your friend.)***
Here are a few things I’ve learned over the years, a little light wisdom for this beautiful spring day:
All love begins with self-love and autonomy; finding the source inside yourself is the way to discovering it in the world.
Don’t be afraid to waste time with the wrong people, just not too much. They teach you the best lessons.
When you sort out what needs to be sorted, the magic of the Universe will reveal itself. This phenomenon is not just for young people, it happens at every age.
When you make good choices, it leads you to the right person.
When you make good choices, it keeps you with the right person.
When you’re with the right person, you can learn to fight and not hurt each other in the process.
Everybody farts, the sooner you come to terms with that, the sooner everyone can relax.
Don’t call each other babe, it sounds forced and stupid. If you do call each other babe, everyone will mock you behind your back, they can’t help themselves.
Well, that’s it, just a few thoughts of love today, short and sweet.
I’m going to end this with a song I wrote for my husband the week after we met. I knew he was the one, even then. The words ring as true for me today as ever, and I’m grateful that I learned to make the good choices that brought me to him.
This is even more significant because when I met my husband, I’d turned my back on all of my creative pursuits and given up. When I decided to start writing and making music again a few years ago, it was my husband that cheered me on and supported me.
He’s always worked just as hard as me to help me get me back to myself and start living as the person I was born to be. That is how I know, he really loves me. That is what love is.
Unfortunately, I haven’t had time to properly record it. But last year I hired some musicians for one night, and we managed to put this together in a couple of hours, so after all of those years, I could finally play it for him with a full band.
It’s not perfect or polished, but here is that version on YouTube if you want to hear it.
“If I Knew”
If I knew The long hard road would lead to you I’d have walked it with more gratitude If I knew the burdens that I bore would fall off at your door I’d have carried them with more fortitude If I knew And time wouldn’t have been so all alone if I’d have known I was killing it, I was killing it for you I might have slept a little better, I might have cried a little lighter I might have tried a little harder, I might have felt a little stronger
If I knew
And I have run Have wondered blind and come undone I have bled my core I have fallen at your door
If I knew this broken child was coming home to you I could have seen her through a little bit better Could have held her head a little bit higher, made her world a little bit brighter Would have held her a little bit tighter, made her heart a little bit lighter
If I knew
And I have run Have wondered blind and come undone I have bled my core I have fallen at your door
And I will lay me down on you, My demons scream in vain, And I will give you everything, My secrets and my shame I have run Have wondered blind and come undone I have bled my core I have fallen at your door
That’s it for me, have a great day and make sure to tell someone you love them today.
Thanks for reading!
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