Life Isn’t Always Black And White

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Abstract

nt in time going to buy the car. In other words, “ No.” It most certainly isn’t a “Yes.”Some people seldom go anywhere near the grey zone, and some people seem to live there permanently, much to the frustration of their family and friends. When a friend of mine was going through the painful process of separating from his first ex wife and asked her if she felt we could save their marriage she replied “ I think we might have half a chance.”I personally have never in all my born days heard of anybody so buried up to their armpits in the grey zone.When she said the words “ Think,”“might, “ “ half, “ and “ chance “ What he heard loud and clear was “ No, no, no, no.” What she was doing in fact was what she had done for twenty years of marriage, keeping him hanging in purgatory with the vain hope of getting a “ Yes.”Her answer was cloaked in such a way in case a better offer didn’t come her way, at least she had him simmering on the back boiler, ready and waiting to be brought back to the boil. And that was because she actually dreaded being left alone (which was what happened in the end anyway).So other peoples grey zones are to be avoided at all cost. Eventually he learne

Options

d to take “ I don’t know.” as a “ No.” and walk away, if for nothing more than to save his own sanity and dignity. Personally, I don’t believe I have ever managed to turn an “ I don’t know.” into a “ Yes.”Some people do not have a hidden agenda, they are simply too afraid of making the wrong decision, or of ever being seen to be wrong. These type of people have never learned that all decisions in life come with a mix of both negative and positive outcomes. But they spend their whole lives trying to have their cake and eat it, trying to be right, and only right, come what may.Equally as bad are those people who flit very precociously, and precariously, between black and white. These are people who blow hot and cold on a whim. I am always wary of people who give an over enthusiastic “ Yes .” at the beginning simply because too many times I have seen them suddenly flip to an equally strong “ No.” at the end. So life, in these cases, is quite simply black and white, there isn’t any grey zone. The problem is these types of people can never be trusted to to stick with a decision. Who could live with such precosiousness ? I know I can’t, and I’ll spell that out to anybody in black and white.</article></body>

Be very careful with people who reside in the grey zone

Photograph by the author Liam Ireland

Well actually, life is indeed very black and white when it comes to whether you are dead or alive, there is no in between. Like binary code there is zero or one, there’s black and there’s white, things are true or they are false. Well that’s not true neither, and that’s because there is what we call the grey zone.

Ahhhhh, the grey zone. It is here we can hide and trundle out epithets like “It’s complicated. “ or “ Well, to be honest I don’t know.”

I have a brother who is a very black and white type of person. He once told me there’s “ Yes.” And there’s “No.” His logic was very clear. “ I don’t know,” which resides in the grey zone, is effectively “No” as it quite clearly isn’t “ Yes.“

For example, if I am a car salesman and I ask the client if he wants to buy the car and he replies “ I don’t know “ that means he is not at this moment in time going to buy the car. In other words, “ No.” It most certainly isn’t a “Yes.”

Some people seldom go anywhere near the grey zone, and some people seem to live there permanently, much to the frustration of their family and friends. When a friend of mine was going through the painful process of separating from his first ex wife and asked her if she felt we could save their marriage she replied “ I think we might have half a chance.”

I personally have never in all my born days heard of anybody so buried up to their armpits in the grey zone.

When she said the words “ Think,”“might, “ “ half, “ and “ chance “ What he heard loud and clear was “ No, no, no, no.” What she was doing in fact was what she had done for twenty years of marriage, keeping him hanging in purgatory with the vain hope of getting a “ Yes.”

Her answer was cloaked in such a way in case a better offer didn’t come her way, at least she had him simmering on the back boiler, ready and waiting to be brought back to the boil. And that was because she actually dreaded being left alone (which was what happened in the end anyway).

So other peoples grey zones are to be avoided at all cost. Eventually he learned to take “ I don’t know.” as a “ No.” and walk away, if for nothing more than to save his own sanity and dignity. Personally, I don’t believe I have ever managed to turn an “ I don’t know.” into a “ Yes.”

Some people do not have a hidden agenda, they are simply too afraid of making the wrong decision, or of ever being seen to be wrong. These type of people have never learned that all decisions in life come with a mix of both negative and positive outcomes. But they spend their whole lives trying to have their cake and eat it, trying to be right, and only right, come what may.

Equally as bad are those people who flit very precociously, and precariously, between black and white. These are people who blow hot and cold on a whim. I am always wary of people who give an over enthusiastic “ Yes .” at the beginning simply because too many times I have seen them suddenly flip to an equally strong “ No.” at the end. So life, in these cases, is quite simply black and white, there isn’t any grey zone. The problem is these types of people can never be trusted to to stick with a decision. Who could live with such precosiousness ? I know I can’t, and I’ll spell that out to anybody in black and white.