Life is Too Short to Look for Happiness

Seek eudaimonia instead

“Say any word, and I’ll tell you how the root of that word is Greek.”

If you have watched the movie My Greek Fat Big Wedding, you may remember this line. Gus Portokalos, the protagonist’s father, is convinced that any word can be traced back to its Greek roots. When asked to explain the origin of the obviously Japanese word “kimono”, Gus ponders for a second and replies: “Kimono, kimono, kimono. Ah! Kimono is come from the Greek word kimona, which is mean winter. What do you wear in the winter? A robe! So, there you go!”

Gus’s grandiose talk aside, it is nonetheless true that in all European languages, and even in non-European ones, much of everyday vocabulary contains words of Greek origins: “idea”, “democracy”, “philosophy”, “telephone”… The list goes on and on.

The mother of all languages has been around for quite some time: it has been spoken for about three and a half millennia, and it’s one of the oldest Indo-European languages.

Even though only 14 million people currently speak Greek, the language of Plato and Aristotle has a huge global influence: the key foundational texts in western philosophy were all written in Greek.

Lost in Translation

One of the things I love most about the Greek language is that it is very logical and extremely rich in words, many of which cannot actually be translated. Here are some examples:

One is µεράκι (me-ra-kee). It is generally translated with “passion” or “devotion”, but these words do not entirely cover its meaning. Doing something with µεράκι means to do something with soul, devotion, undivided attention, putting a part of yourself into what you’re doing.

Another one is σωφροσύνη (sof-ros-i-nee), which describes individuals who have masterful control of both their mind and body and are at peace with themselves.

And then φιλότιμο (fee-lo-tee-mo), which literally means “friends or love of honor” and refers to doing something righteous even if it’s not in your own best interest.

Beautiful words with a deep, intense meaning behind them. None of them is quite like ευδαιμονία (ev-de-mo-nea) though.

One Word for Happiness?

The word happiness is usually translated with ευτυχία (ef-tee-kia) in Greek, with ef meaning “good, well”, and tychí “luck”.

Happiness is generally regarded as a mental or emotional state of joy, contentment, and life satisfaction — good luck, indeed. Happiness is an emotion, and probably the most desired one.

Our culture is fixated on happiness; being happy is everybody’s ultimate goal and the rationale behind every decision we make. In the modern world, we look at happiness as the opposite of sadness. A happy person is someone who is successful, wealthy, and always smiling.

Sadly, our fixation with being happy can be a recipe for disappointment.

As more and more aspects of our lives are judged in terms of their contribution to the quest for happiness, we find ourselves even more dissatisfied — and unhappy — when we realize that our job, relationship, or body do not bring us all the pleasure we expect.

That’s not the only reason why the common approach to happiness is flawed. Because our moods are transitory, we can’t expect to feel happy all the time. We naturally experience sadness, boredom, or depression, and that’s not necessarily bad: it’s just human. Being happy cannot be synonymous with being free from pain — because pain is part of life.

Find Your Good Demon

Ancient Greeks knew that ευτυχία, good luck, was an insufficient term to describe happiness. That’s why they invented a much better word for it: εὐδαιμονία (ev-de-mo-neea), which, like µεράκι and φιλότιμο, is difficult to translate into contemporary concepts. Scholars translated it with “happiness” for many years, but there are clear differences, so today it’s translated with “fulfillment” or “well-being”.

“Eu”, good, plus “daimon”, which means “demon” or “soul”.

Greek philosophers did not believe that the purpose of life was to be happy. Happiness for them was not found in the pursuit of material wealth or power. Eudaemonic happiness, they believed, was about pursuing eudaimonia.

What sets happiness and eudemonia apart is pain. You can suffer mentally or physically and be fulfilled at the same time. A good life can be an unhappy one: this is what eudaimonia is about.

Starting a family, building a career, engaging in politics, keeping a relationship going… They are all goals that will challenge, stress, and even make us suffer. Yet they are all tasks worth undertaking.

Unlike happiness, eudaimonia is achieved through daily habits and actions, not through mental states. Aristotle, who spoke about eudaimonia, wrote:

“As it is not one swallow or a fine day that makes a spring, so it is not one day or a short time that makes a man blessed and happy.”

Happiness is not something you can obtain, it’s something you do, and the road to happiness is a perilous one, involving courage, ambition, moderation, and empathy.

“Men are not isolated individuals, and the human excellencies cannot be practiced by hermits”, he said. We flourish by cultivating our human capabilities and our relationships with other people, day in day out.

How to Achieve Eudaimonia

Well-being, eudaimonia, is not an outcome. Borrowing Edward Deci’s and Richard Ryan’s words, “it is a process of fulfilling or realizing one’s daimon or true nature — that is, of fulfilling one’s virtuous potentials and living as one was inherently intended to live.”

To be a good soul, you need to have a good relationship with your guiding spirit. Face your inner demon; discover your nature and flourish by adhering to that nature and living with virtue.

Because eudaimonia is not an end state but a process, it’s the pursuit of virtue and excellence that makes us experience eudaimonia. What is virtue? Simply put, it’s the right amount, the “golden mean” between excess and deficiency. Because it’s a skill, virtue can be learned and improved through experience.

Work hard, cultivate your virtues, strive to express the best within you.

Fulfilling your unique potential as a human being, becoming a “eudaimon”, a good soul, is the ultimate goal.

Reflect on the values you hold important. You don’t need to aspire to achieve something great; get a sense of the core beliefs that give meaning to your existence. For me, it’s important to know that I can help improve somebody else’s life through my writing and to use my words to inform, entertain, and inspire.

What are your skills? Are you a good parent? A talented teacher? When you know your capabilities, develop them towards achieving your goal.

A eudaemonic life is a life of pushing yourself to your limits and finding success. True happiness comes from knowing you’ve pushed yourself to be the very best person you can be.