Life is Not a Laundry List. Time for a cleanup?
Focusing on essentials. My learnings from G.McKeown ‘Essentialism’
So the pandemic is over, and your life once again is flooded with a lot of everything: shops to visit, people to meet, events to go to, gym classes to dread. Work-wise, you again find a million items on the to-do list, and come up with another million ideas to get started.
It takes time, experience and a few books to realise that there are only a few important things in life. The rest is just busyness, powered by FOMO. The book Essentialism showed that I was spreading myself too thin, and taught me to really consider how often, and with whom, I share my head and heart. Here are the main things that I have learned from the book on how to lead a more purposeful life.
Adopt the ‘Elimination Habit’
You might want to cut people out. I know, it sounds terrible. I myself am a complete extrovert and social butterfly always keen to flutter my friendly wings. The larger the gathering, with the more fellow ‘butterflies’, the better. The thing is that all those plentiful get-togethers and dinners every few months don’t really contribute to one of the core human needs — deep connection.
Count how many people you could call for comfort at 3 am and you know how many real connections you have. So I have very consciously chosen a few essential people and now focus on the quality rather than the number of people around me. Sharing deeper thoughts and feelings is much more fulfilling than sharing upcoming trips and dinners in the diary.
At work, we humans tend to believe that the more stuff we do, the more value we bring. Essentialism taught me to seek value in eliminating the excess, rather than adding in yet more KPIs, Google sheets and meetings.
When approaching a new project or task, I start the process by asking myself how to simplify and scale what we do. There are times when I’m not very successful, as I do love a new KPI… But hey, no one is perfect.
‘’To attain KNOWLEDGE, add things every day. To attain WISDOM, subtract things every day’’. Lao Tzu
I do not go to meetings if I think I will not add value. I tell people when things are taking a non-essential direction and I refuse to add new processes unless they are really needed.
Build Routines to Save Your Mental Energy
On average, the average woman will need the energy of 2000 calories a day to operate. On top of that, we can calculate how much energy running or yoga or vacuuming will burn. I wish Amazon sold a scale to measure the output of our mental battery. If you are one of those people who want to live life to the full, you know that high contribution requires a lot of energy.
Every morning, a lot of people waste their mental energy answering very non-essential questions: shall I have porridge or cereal for breakfast, shall I do exercise now or later, what do I wear, do I do laundry today, is today the day for Listerine (yes, it is not healthy to use it every day).
Alternatively, if you build a truly robust routine, it can all go on autopilot: wake up, 7-minute tabata to get energised, shower, face cream, cut a banana, make porridge, make coffee, turn on laptop, write, 8:55 am brush teeth and open work email. So much mental energy saved for bigger things.
The beauty is that science has proved that by repeating certain tasks, the neurons in our brain make new connections through communication gateways called ‘synapses’. With repetition, all these connections strengthen and our brain finds it easier to activate them. Driving A to B on autopilot, cooking a recipe without looking at the step-by-step guide? Surely this sounds familiar.
Write a Journal to Clear Your Mind
Pretty much every self-development book I’ve read recommends starting a journal. I’ve done some research and now definitely get the rationale. Have a look at all these studies, and you’ll see for yourself. By the time G.McKeown said everyone should write in Essentialism, I gave in.
I had no idea what I was going to write about, but for a start, I chose my most beautiful notebook, went to google, put ‘what to write in a journal’ in the search box (I know — very lame, but hey… no one is perfect) and the first thing that came up was Sam Thomas Davies and his suggestions for daily journaling. I wrote down the questions, never answered them… One year later, though, and my notebook is full of mind maps on books and ideas, summaries from interesting talks, inspiring quotes, all kinds of plans and thoughts, and a lot of routine/habit ideas and experiments.
The best part is that I am sitting and writing this post now — which just is so unlike the Indre that I knew all my life. I love it. It helps me to distil ideas, think about things that are essential in my life and eliminate what is not needed.
Start the Day With One Question: ‘What Is Really ESSENTIAL Today?’
One thing which I found really transformational in Essentialism, especially for my work routine, is spending a few minutes at the start of the day to focus and think about what is really essential NOW. What is the one thing that I absolutely have to achieve before I close my laptop in the evening?
It makes me think about the bigger picture every day, it makes me prioritise and start the day knowing I will contribute something more than answering other people’s emails and going to other people’s meetings — all things that should be done, of course, but can definitely be done later.
‘The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing’ — G.McKeown
To save me some time, I use a super cool weekly planner Clever Fox (no affiliation links) where each week has priorities for my personal and professional development and work. Am I some superwoman who achieves everything? Definitely not. But it does give me a sense of direction, control and achievement.
There are many more things that I’ve learned from Essentialism, but those are for another day. Instead, I’d like to end by restating the biggest lesson there is: always ask yourself, ‘Is it essential?’, and if it’s not, eliminate it. Essentially, it’s the key to a happier life.