Life Is Funny And Filled With Moments That Can Crush Us If We Let Them

I choose not to be saddened. A response of a smile is better

It happened three times. The third time is the charm. Oops, now there was a fourth!

The first time it happened I was waiting in line at the pharmacy. I stood there wearing my baseball cap, my choice in the warm weather to cover my bald head, and provide warmth in cold, air conditioned stores.

I would prefer to wear no hat, but I find I am at the mercy of the smallest breeze or change in temperature against my neck and scalp. It was unexpected. When I started my Chemo treatments I was told l was very likely to lose my hair. It happened very quickly and truthfully made me very sad. I never realized how it might affect me both physically and emotionally.

When it was my turn to move ahead in line and pick up my prescription I was shocked to hear the customer service person say, “Sir, can I help you.” I actually stopped in mid-step and paused ever so slightly before moving ahead.

She looked up and asked for name and date of birth, standard procedure to correctly complete the sale of any prescription. When I answered I sensed her internal reaction and then a focused eye to eye with me. She quickly apologized; “I am so sorry”.

I smiled and responded with “no need, it is understandable and I tipped the hat up a bit to give her a better view of my head. Just a result of chemo.” As I walked away I hoped she could clearly see my smile behind my mask which I wear all the time.

Usually I have a pragmatic approach to life events and for the most part my response to being called “sir” was the same. I had been shocked at first and my mind started sorting through my responses.

I never expected to be mistaken for a male. So, of course, I wondered just how masculine did I look. I was like, “really?” Do I really look like a man?

You can bet I checked out my image in the mirror when I arrived home.

I questioned my choice of hats, and as the weather gets colder I will be wearing wool caps of different styles to be warm, but not now in 80–90+ degrees.

Second occurrence happened at the same store when I was in line at the customer service desk. Same response from the person behind the counter. I responded with a more open and increasingly friendly response.

It wasn’t suprising this time and truly it is a completely understandable reaction. They were both busy doing their jobs. I had to treat it as a “funny” happening. I could not be mad or respond in a negative way. What good would that do for either of us.

I cannot help but wonder how I would have responded if the roles were reversed. Having worked in customer service for years and advanced into middle management and the responsibility of a staff I consider this a good training event. More companies should consider adding this to their training. There are so many people with cancer and in the exact same situation.

Now when I walk around when I am out I cannot help but be more observant of other women wearing baseball caps. I had a nice conversation with one recently who has had cancer, not once but twice. Looking back I wish I had asked more questions and suggest that we get together for coffee so we could talk more. I would have liked that. I will look for her any time I am shopping and I will be sure to ask.

The third time is the charm.

So totally unexpected. Each year our town has a bulk clean-up day where you can fill your car or truck with those items you cannot find an easy way to recycle. I always take advantage and load the back of my small van.

I was again taken aback when the gentleman taking my ticket to participate said, “Sir, can I have your ticket?”

I actually laughed. What the heck! I know I do not truly look like a man. I took off my baseball cap and started a conversation. We talked for a few moments because he was as the others, “so sorry”. He had a friend recently diagnozed and a family member had also experienced cancer so he was aware of the journey we take.

So three times and out? No. So far there has been a fourth and I am sure there propably will be more.

This time I was going through McDonald’s drive-thru for a Mocha Frappe which is a treat I have given myself all summer. The checkout person was an older man and he barely looked at me. I was not wearing my baseball cap so my bald head was in full view if he had looked at me and used any customer service skills. He handed me my Frappe and immediately turned away continuing with his conversation with another employee.

So many times we simply do not pay attention; we do not truly see people, what they are doing, or truly see them. A moment in time, a moment of their life, that could make all the difference in their day. Perhaps the gift of friendship and understanding.

That is one thing cancer has shown me and one I hope I will carry with me for as long as I am blessed with life.

“Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one’s own sunshine.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson