Chris Compton - @twainingwheels | Kingsley Asuamah

Life From Different Perspectives: Relax, Focus on Your Breathing

Part 6 of 20: Meditation improves focus and reduces anxiety

This article is part of a series of articles written from the perspectives of two very different minds.

My name is Chris Compton. I am a 59-year-old American living in Atlanta, GA. I am writing about the 20 self-improvement facts in this article:

The article’s author, Kingsley Asuamah, is a 36-year-old Nigerian living in Ireland. He is writing about the same topics.

You can follow along and see how two strangers, separated by age, geography, and circumstance, view the world and the opportunity to develop as human beings.

Meditation Improves Focus and Reduces Anxiety

For nearly six decades, I have equated “meditation” with “mumbo-jumbo.”

My wife spent years studying yoga and becoming an instructor, and my friend Sunshine practices daily meditation. These important figures in my life have urged me to meditate at various times.

I’ve made some half-hearted attempts, but I have never come away satisfied. What more proof did I need? Mumbo. Jumbo.

2023 Was a Transformative Year

In 2023, I made some changes.

I quit drinking at the end of January. The resulting calorie reduction resulted in significant weight loss and a physical transformation. The changes in my body were exciting and unexpected. Who gets a better body at 58? I took my son’s advice and began a gym regimen in April.

None of these changes were expected. In fact, none of them were possible before I quit drinking. No major life change is possible unless you believe it is, and I would never have believed it. Any of it.

Early in the process, I decided to learn to like raw tomatoes. I know what you are saying, “tomatoes are delicious,” or “I love tomatoes.” You’re missing the point. We all have a food item we will not eat. What’s yours? Why not change it?

Much of “Who We Are” is Determined in Our Early Years

Most of what you believe can be traced back to your childhood. Your food choices, political affiliation, religious beliefs, favorite sports teams, and more tend to be chosen by a very young version of you and then clung to throughout the rest of your life.

When I decided to learn to like raw tomatoes, I unknowingly uncovered a path to a better future. I believed we were hardwired to like certain tastes, personalities, circumstances, and events. I accepted that I was a person who did not like raw tomatoes, olives, cucumbers, avocado, and brown liquors. You may have similar beliefs.

Then, I proved myself wrong. It took me more than half a year, but I regularly eat raw tomatoes now. I don’t love them, but I don’t mind them, and sometimes I am delighted by the flavor-burst that certain varieties add.

The big win, however, had nothing to do with tomatoes. The experience transformed what I believe to be possible.

Our Belief System

Every one of us has a set of beliefs. If you would like to go down that rabbit hole, start writing yours down. “I believe _____.” Write them down until you run out. Take a break. Write some more.

Some of what you believe is true, some of it is opinion, and more than you might be comfortable with is wrong. Nevertheless, you carry that set of beliefs around with you as if they were the original Ten Commandments. When did you last question your belief system?

Why would you? You don’t question gravity. You don’t wonder what comes after the number 3 or the letter “G.” Why would you question whether sushi is good? You learned a long time ago that you don’t like it, Sam I Am. There is plenty of delicious food to eat.

Understanding What We Are Capable Of

Learning to like raw tomatoes was a breakthrough.

It seems so insignificant. Who cares if I eat raw tomatoes? Why am I making such a big deal about it?

“Yay! Good for you, Chris. You are amazing. Way to go!” Maybe if we give him some praise, he will shut the F up about the tomato thing and get back to meditation.

Learning to like raw tomatoes was a breakthrough because it proved to me that I could learn to like anything. I could learn to like olives, cucumbers, avocados, jogging, crossword puzzles, skydiving, massaging strangers’ dirty feet, or meditation.

I didn’t set out to learn to like olives. Soon after I began eating tomatoes, I shared a Greek Salad with my wife. It was loaded with black olives. YUCK, I thought. Then, I decided to enjoy the experience of eating an olive for the first time ever. I popped a slice into my mouth, let it sit on my tongue, and chewed it slowly. It was different and interesting. I enjoyed it.

There is no food I am unwilling to eat now. I will enjoy whatever is served. I have preferences, sure, but I no longer have any “I do not like that” items in the food world.

When I saw that the next topic on my writing list was “Meditation improves focus and reduces anxiety,” my initial thought was, “Not that mumbo-jumbo again!”

I immediately followed that thought with another thought. “I am going to learn to meditate.”

Meditation is like a gym in which you develop the powerful mental muscles of calm and insight.

Ajahn Brahm

Meditation Improves Focus and Reduces Anxiety

On Friday, I retired to the spare bedroom and set my phone timer to twelve minutes. Learning anything, I have found, is easy in small pieces. Focused, repeated effort applied consistently cannot fail to yield results.

I laid down on my back. I relaxed my body and let the backs of my hands rest gently on my thighs. I focused on breathing in through my nose. I wanted to see the breath in my mind’s eye. I breathed. I felt the breath enter my nose. It was cool and a little bit thick. It filled me up, not just my lungs, but my whole being. I exhaled and felt the breath leave my body.

“This is silly,” I thought. BREATH. “Just breathe…” OUT. BREATH. “I wonder what that noise is.” OUT. BREATH. “Could be the neighbors’ AirBnB guest.” OUT. BREATH. “Just be empty.” OUT. BREATH. OUT. BREATH. OUT. “I’m getting hungry.” “Stop it!” BREATH. “Wonder if we have any chicken cooked.” OUT. BREATH.

And so it went. For 12 minutes. By the end of the 12 minutes, I was noticeably relaxed. I was breathing slowly. My breaths were full and deep. It was hypnotic. This made sense, hypnotism also being mumbo-jumbo.

On Saturday, I set the timer for fifteen minutes. Saturday was easier. I chased my thoughts away quickly and found a place where I simply breathed. I didn’t have any worries, goals, cares, or concerns. I was just a breathing body floating on a spinning rock.

When the timer went off, I was so relaxed I struggled to roll over. I opened a book and read for an hour despite having had tremendous difficulty concentrating on the written word lately. I felt “tuned in.”

Today, I meditated for twenty minutes. I was able to get into a clear, empty frame of mind in the first few minutes and remain there until the alarm sounded. When I opened my eyes, I was relaxed, alert, and receptive. I read for a bit and then had lunch. Several hours later, I feel creative and energized.

We Are Incomplete Beings

I am becoming more aware every day of how undeveloped I am. I have relied on other people’s opinions and perceptions, along with my own very limited experience, to decide what I like, what works, what I am capable of, and what is possible.

The truth is that I am evolving. I change in small ways every day. I am not the same person I was a decade ago, so why would I have the same likes, dislikes, or capabilities?

All of us have the opportunity to change everything in our lives. Anything we believe to be possible is possible. I believe that meditation will bring renewed focus to my life. I am going to train myself to meditate in anticipation of that change.

I will let you know how it goes.

Do you meditate? Have you broken any personal walls down? Let me know about it in the comments!