Chris Compton - @twainingwheels | Kingsley Asuamah
Life From Different Perspectives
Part 2 of 20: Gratitude boosts happiness more than material possessions
This article is part of a series of articles written from the perspective of two very different minds.
My name is Chris Compton. I am a 59-year-old American living in Atlanta, GA. I am writing about the 20 self-improvement facts in this article:
The article’s author, Kingsley Asuamah, is a 36-year-old Nigerian living in Ireland. He is writing about the same topics.
You can follow along and see how two strangers, separated by age, geography, and circumstance, view the world and the opportunity to develop as human beings.
Gratitude boosts happiness more than material possessions
Ahhh, happiness. That elusive stew of contentment mixed with satisfaction and seasoned with the anticipation of good things to come.
We all want it. Forbes Magazine publishes an annual ranking of the happiest countries in the world. Finland is riding a six-year winning streak into 2024. I’m not sure that turning happiness into a competition, even such an arbitrary one, is likely to make a positive impact on happiness.
Today’s article is about individual happiness. As far as I know, no one has published an article ranking the happiest 100 people on the planet, but when they do, I anticipate a shout-out at the least. In this article, I will talk about how gratitude and “stuff” affect happiness and why you should choose one and choose away from the other.
What’s All the Fuss About Gratitude?
This won’t be the only article published on Medium today about gratitude. Poets, pundits, lyricists, and philosophers have been extolling the virtues since human beings began to extoll. So why the bother?
Being intentionally grateful is a big step towards happiness. Appreciating your life, your circumstances, and your future drives away envy. Envy is a happiness killer from way back.
The process reframes your reality and allows you to see it in a positive light. This small shift in perspective can be the difference between frustrated disappointment and enthusiastic satisfaction.
When we begin to see ourselves as fortunate people with bright futures and get excited about the next part of our lives, happiness isn’t far behind.
Rich People are Not Necessarily Happy People
People are funny creatures. We live habitually, doing the same things over and over again. Over 90% of our thoughts never leave our own minds. We make assumptions all the time, and most people assume they are unique in their struggles.
We assume that other people have happy marriages, are successful in their occupational endeavors, and are happy. We also assume that “rich and famous” people live better lives than we do.
I know many people who might be considered wealthy and a few who are unquestionably wealthy. None of them are especially happy. They worry. Ironically, they worry about money more than anything else. They romanticize the past. They fear the situation at the border, the results of the next election, and the dawn of the next recession, just like you.
They build the same walls you do, only bigger. They expect everyone they encounter to want something from them. They struggle with the same fears you have. Fears of failure, secrets exposed, being laughed at, or even going broke. Often, they feel as if the wealth is undeserved, and the resulting imposter syndrome can be crippling.
They see themselves as outcasts, as fat with bad skin, as unlovable. They regret their pasts and assume that those they injured will never forgive them. They bleed.
People with more money have more things and access to comfort than people with less money, but are still people. They aren’t automatically happier.
Things that are useful typically add to our life experience, but buying things for the sake of having things only adds obligation and expense.
Gratitude Shapes Our Perspective
We all live complex lives. We have families, friends, possessions, goals, jobs, and obligations. Hopefully, we are satisfied with most of the items on the list. Even the luckiest of us complain. Sometimes, the most fortunate complain the loudest.
No matter your situation, there are things to be grateful for. Maybe you are grateful, but you take it for granted. When did you last sit down, take stock of your situation, and express gratitude? Try it.
You and I are no different. I am extremely fortunate, but I find myself bitching on a regular basis. This is self-imposed misery. It’s unnecessary, unwarranted, and off-putting to the people around us who are forced to listen.
Making time to be intentionally grateful refocuses your attention on how lucky you are. It’s nearly impossible to experience gratitude and a negative emotion simultaneously. Gratitude pushes regret, guilt, shame, and envy out of your mind.
I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness — it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.
What Do You Have to Be Grateful For?
Sit down in a quiet place and take a personal inventory.
Start with you. You are reading this article, so you are alive. Be grateful for that. In the instant before you were conceived, hundreds of millions of sperm cells were in a mad rush to fertilize anything in sight. Only one of them could create you. Be grateful.
Be grateful for your past. Be grateful for the relationships that ended, even the ones you did not want to end. Everything that has happened in your life, from the moment you were born until right now, conspired to make you who you are. No matter how traumatic it seemed or how much damage you suffered, you survived it. You are stronger for the struggle. In the beginning, you couldn’t hold your head up or make an intelligible sound. Look at you now! You can move forward in any direction you choose. Be grateful.
Be grateful for your imagination. Your imagination is the key to the rest of your life. Your imagination is more valuable than anything you will ever own and capable of more than you can imagine! Anything that man has ever created or will create must begin in the imagination of a human being. Every word you say is created first in your imagination. Just before you take a step, you imagine taking it. Your imagination is more powerful than kryptonite. Be grateful.
Be grateful for your health. If you can walk around outside and smell the lilac bushes, the sea air, or even the urine in the subway, be grateful. If you can see the night sky and feel the breeze on your cheek, be grateful.
Be grateful for love and the opportunity to be part of the human race as it bumbles toward whatever it will eventually become. Be grateful for the people who love you and even more grateful for those you are fortunate enough to love. Love everyone, and be grateful for the opportunity.
Be grateful for your future and your chance to begin again right this minute. Be grateful for the mystery of your unfolding story and all the adventures ahead as you make your way. Be grateful for the relationships that haven’t formed yet that will become a big part of your story. Look forward to what’s in store for you, and be grateful.
As you roll these ideas around in your head, let them play in your imagination. See your future. See yourself being happy. Be grateful.
What Does This Have to Do With Happiness?
- Happiness is a mixture of contentment, satisfaction, and anticipation. When we express gratitude for our circumstances, we are reminding our subconscious that we are fortunate.
- When we give thanks for our imagination and marvel at its power, we automatically bring it online. We begin to see the possibilities that lie ahead and look forward to what’s next.
- When we appreciate the relationships and love that we will give and receive in the future, we get excited. Even if current circumstances are bleak, sunny days lie just around the corner.
- When we begin to see ourselves as fortunate people with bright futures and get excited about the future, happiness isn’t far behind.
Gratitude boosts happiness more than material possessions
Gratitude is free and unlimited. It requires intent on your part but not much else. There are many things in your life worthy of gratitude.
When you focus on what is good and express your thanks for it, you quickly realize you are lucky. You are lucky to be alive, lucky to be a human being, lucky to have an imagination and a future.
When you buy something, you have to pay for it, find a place to put it, dust it, repair it, and eventually get rid of it. The dopamine hit associated with getting something new is temporary. Sure, it lasts a few weeks when you buy a new car, but what about all the little things you buy willy-nilly? How long do you enjoy them? At what point do they just fade into the landscape of crap you are piling up around you? Faster than you may realize.
Buy what you need. Buy things that you will utilize on adventures. Buy things you can share with others. Buy the minimum and only buy things you will be thankful for the next time you have a gratitude session.
Simply saying thank you to God or the universe won’t instantly put joy in your heart, but it won’t take long for a daily practice of expressing heartfelt gratitude for everything about your life to transform you.
For more articles in this collaboration, refer to the table of contents story linked below:
