Life Doesn’t Have To Be Competitive

Insights in connection

The other morning I had the honour of receiving an Ayurveda Session with Keri Mangis.

It was so lovely to meet another person I’ve been following on medium and so exciting to connect with her. I learned so much about Ayurveda from Keri and gained some beautiful insights as well as learning about some small healing changes I can make in my life too.

As she was talking me through my main body type, or dosha, she pointed out it’s interesting that I don’t seem competitive seeing as I have a lot of fiery Pitta as one of my prominent energies.

She’s right too, I’m not competitive, though I guess I never thought this was unusual until our conversation.

“I don’t see the purpose in it,” I explained.

Then she said “You should write about this.” (So here I am, thanks, Keri :))

Upon further reflection I realized the more immature version of me probably was competitive when it came to comparing myself to other people and trying to be better and do better than others. Though as I’ve matured, my life experiences have taught me competition is something that no longer feels right for me.

For some people maybe it helps drive them to work on themselves or be better, but competitiveness for me now just feels like a pressure I don’t need or want.

I don’t see the point in it.

Competing with someone else doesn’t make much sense to me. Competing with yourself makes more sense, but still, I don’t think personally I need that added drive as I’m so full of fiery ambition for life anyway.

Wouldn’t lots of things in the world be more peaceful if we didn’t compete with one another too?

If we weren’t caught up trying to be someone we’re not. If we weren’t racing to be better than those around us, to prove ourselves all the time.

Besides, it skims over the important truth that we’re all living this life together, connected and dancing with one another in intricate and unseen ways. Adopting a competitive nature for those of us who don’t resonate with it, has the power to put out our fire. And in bigger ways, competition can make us numb to the subtle ways we are already offering ourselves to the world, it can make us blind to the little ways we are growing and changing and make us never happy enough to find peace in ourselves and the present.

I never really noticed that I was no longer a competitive person and that this is a beautiful part of who I am until Keri pointed it out to me.

And the way that she so warmly shared this insight with me more than anything shows she isn’t competitive either.

She champions other people in their goals, dreams, and visions.

And because she was able to share a quality she thinks is lovely about me, I was able to reflect on this situation and see how open, warm, and welcoming she was with sharing her insights and observations with me.

This type of friendly open exchange and connecting would not be able to happen in this way if either of us were competitive.

Highly competitive people would see an opportunity for relating instead only as a chance to prove how amazing they are, or at the very least they would walk away comparing themselves to the other person, and feeling less than or better than. Competition in this sense, can create separating energy.

It’s special to connect with people especially when competition is out of the equation.

I believe everyone has unique gifts, abilities, and talents and competition isn’t really useful unless you are using it in a way that isn’t about comparing yourself to other people and more about personal growth. Even then perfectionism can dampen your ability to truly tune in to your growth and personal progression in life if you’re not careful.

I think I’ve learned over time that life doesn’t have to be competitive.

I’ve learned over the years to stay in my lane and to not worry about what other people are doing in a competitive sense, but rather look to them as sources of inspiration, and celebrate their accomplishments and achievements.

We all have things to offer the world and unique ways in which we give to the world.

I’ve also learned that when you are in competition with those around you the space for love and connection contracts rather than expanding.

It comes at a price, competitiveness. It potentially can block us from growing other areas of ourselves and our lives.

I am choosing expansion now to open myself up more to conscious connections and growing relationships, and because of this, there is no place for competition in my life, except maybe in a more light-hearted sense.

I want people to love me for who I am, not what I achieve. Competitiveness is naturally not a big part of who I am anymore.

I’m learning to love myself in all my states and I don’t feel I need to compete because there is only one me, just as there is only one you.

How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.

— Rupi Kaur -Source

I think in many ways when I look back now, I had to live through periods of my life being and feeling I had no choice but to be extremely competitive. In many ways, my people-pleasing of the past came from a sense of never feeling good enough and never being enough.

It feels like I had to go through a right of passage, experiencing drama and competition and comparison in lots of extreme ways to finally reach a point of being sick of the character I was playing in creating a life I wasn’t satisfied with.

This passage from the other days Astrology reading by Louise Edington reflects this initiation of sorts not specifically relating to competitiveness, though when I read it It seemed to convey what I am trying to say. I needed to learn and go through many of the trials and tribulations of life before I was able to feel comfortable accepting a life free of competitiveness.

“In order to make it possible for radical truths and significant realizations to come through, you must first karmically dramatize, inside the ego-mind and outside as well, the unbearable tension between opposing points of view. You enter upon disputes, advocate positions, set up heroes and villains. And then when your whole inner and outer world is packed with dilemmas, problems, arguments and battles, you become ready to seek out synthesis, to enter upon a cycle of restoring wholeness.” — Louise Edington

Thanks to Keri Mangis for the Inspiration to write this piece and for the incredible Ayurveda Session which brought me so much joy and encouragement to keep following my heart and continue to work on my healing journey.

If you’re interested, I highly recommend you book a session with her too. She is full of knowledge, wisdom and compassion!

Thanks for reading ❤

Also thanks to Diana C., Spyder, jules and Ravyne Hawke ❤