Life After Divorce

Summary

The article discusses personal growth and resilience after divorce, emphasizing the importance of starting over, self-reinvention, and maintaining a positive outlook on life.

Abstract

The author shares their experience of rebuilding their life after multiple divorces, highlighting the strength and wisdom gained from each fresh start. They encourage readers to embrace change, meet new people, and try new things, despite the comfort of routine. The article advocates for continuous personal evolution, the value of self-evaluation to eliminate negative influences, and the significance of self-love and gratitude. It suggests that life is a series of levels to ascend, and that one should not remain stagnant or settle for less than what brings joy and fulfillment.

Opinions

Starting over after a divorce is not a setback but an opportunity for a clean slate and personal growth.
It's important to be selective about the people in one's life, surrounding oneself with those who add value and support.
Complacency and routine can hinder personal progress, and stepping out of one's comfort zone can lead to unexpected rewards.
Self-compliments and positive self-talk are crucial for building self-esteem and manifesting a positive self-image.
Practicing gratitude is essential for focusing on what one has rather than what one lacks, contributing to overall happiness.
The author humorously advises against making impulsive decisions like cutting one's own bangs during emotional distress, suggesting it might be a symptom of a mental state worth exploring.
The article implies that personal change and adaptation are natural and should be embraced, while also acknowledging that everyone makes mistakes and that apologizing and moving on is part of the process.

Start over as many times as it takes

I have started my life over from the ground up multiple times for multiple reasons, usually because I made a bad decision in regards to who I picked as a partner to share my life with. Each time I picked myself up off the ground, I would say to myself, “Here I go again. I’m back at the bottom with nothing to show for everything I’ve done so far.” But I was wrong.

Starting over again so many times left me stronger, smarter, and only increased my perseverance. It wiped my slate clean in more than one way. It’s easier to clean people out of your life when you’re at the bottom. Because the fake ones in your life tend to disappear then. The trash takes its self out.

You can grow, reform, and reinvent yourself as many times as it takes or as often as you want. There is no rule saying otherwise. You don’t have to settle into society’s expectation or your parents’ expectations. Keep evolving and moving or stay stagnant if that’s what you want. Do whatever makes you happy in this short life you get to lead. I think when you stop growing and changing is when you stop living. Just be glad that it’s not 1899 and you’re not stuck with a jackass for life.

Always be open to trying new things and meeting new people.

I value all of my friends, old and new, but I am still always open to meeting new people that will bring something different to my life. There’s not one person in my life that has not either added value or taught me a lesson.

Trying new things is something I consistently have to work at because I am always ready to fall back on the comfort of my routine. There is not much more attractive to me than my couch, my pajamas, and my glass of wine in hand each night. With that being said, getting out of my comfort zone has always only been good for me. Being complacent and routine driven is what most people center their lives around. The one percent that doesn’t end up going further than they ever thought possible.

Keep moving.

Start at the bottom if you have to but don’t stay there. Use the bottom as a stepping stone to the next level in life. Don’t get stuck working minimum-wage at a job you can barely stand. You will spend most of your life working so make it somewhere worthwhile doing something you enjoy. You won’t ever get back those days or years you lose so be intentional with your decisions. I have to remind myself often that life is about leveling up.

Evaluate

Consistently evaluate and eliminate people, places, or things that don’t bring value, joy, or support into your life. Life is too short to be spending it surrounded by fake friends or back stabbers or “Debbie Downers”. And when you mess up, don’t be afraid to apologize, but then move on. Everybody messes up.

Change Often

Feel free to change your hair, your attitude, your surroundings, and your mantra as much as you want, but please don’t cut your bangs after you’ve been drinking. I wish someone in the medical community would explain why this happens during every woman’s emotional turmoil. It has to be an actual symptom of a mental illness. It is as if an internal instinct pops up telling you that if your bangs get chopped off everything will be all good.

Love Yourself

Always compliment yourself because you are only what you believe you are. If you are self deprecating all the time, you will start to believe these things about yourself. Knowing that, we can assume the opposite is also true. So tell yourself that you are a beautiful person, perfect spouse, and an amazing friend on a daily basis. You can try throwing in a millionaire. That one hasn’t manifested for me yet, but I am consistently trying.

Gratitude

Above all else, practice gratitude. Be thankful for everything in your life that you have and less focused on what you don’t have.

You will not get it right all at once. I find that I keep getting better with every chance I’m given to start anew.

Kylie finds herself funny and is a mixture of sarcasm, White Zinfandel, attitude and love. In addition to humoring herself, she also is a Real Estate Agent and a Property Manager. She lives in Georgia with her huge, loud family.