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Abstract

spangled head out of its star-spangled ass.The economy is cratering. The federal government is impotent. The president of the United States is a fool beyond his ability to cope. Cable news is a ghost ship. The shelves of grocery stores are empty. People are panic buying canned soup and toilet paper like they’ll be post-apocalyptic currencies. In a suburb of New York City, the military is setting up blockades to contain a community outbreak, which feels like a dress rehearsal.The medical system will likely be overwhelmed soon with the sick and the terrified. There aren’t enough beds, you see. Caregivers are already exhausted. This is all happening very quickly, and all at once.Pretty soon I’m going to have to play the grim game: “Allergies or COVID-19?”There will be those who can afford more comfort than others. A lucky few will lock themselves inside modern-day castles protected by mercenaries with families of their own outside the walls. But it won’t matter. Historically speaking plagues have a way of visiting princes and peasants alike. Diseases don’t have passports, either. They don’t need them.I’m afraid that things are going to get worse before they get better. If they get better. I have never liked people who say “this is the new normal.” They’re usually referring to racism or inequality, which are the most normal things ever. But what if this really is the new normal? What if this is it? What if it’s just pandemics and floods and wars from here on out?I don’t trust the media. I don’t trust the authorities. I don’t know if there are enough heroic doctors and nurses to save us. This country knew this kind of disaster was inevitable but we chose to torment each other in ways big and small instead. Our politics is so base, just hunger and fear, teeth and bone. Oh, what cruel, greedy little fuckers we are.The virus will be everywhere soon if it’s not already. Everything will close. Schools, churches, fast food restaurants. No parades. No music. No dancing. There will be riots but if there’s one type of crook cops love to execute on the spot its looters, even if they’re just stealing baby formula. Most of us will retreat into our homes, like everyday Pharaohs sealed in tombs filled with

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canned soups and toilet paper. Social media will be an endless scroll of people begging for help. It will come for some and not others.I will make jokes in quarantine. I will write funny tweets and make funny videos. I will announce in a silly voice that I’m eating the last box of mac and cheese. In the hospital, my laughter will dissolve into wheezing. There is a high probability I will survive but something is going to kill me eventually: COVID-20, mass starvation, shitty health insurance.I know things are bad. I know the worst is yet to come. I don’t need to hear the truth because I already know it. What I want is to be lied to. So… lie to me. Please. I want to be told this will all work out. That there will be a cure. A vaccine. That compassion and gentleness and love will prevail. I’d prefer the lies to not be jokes.And don’t lie to me the way politician’s lie: I don’t need to be told who to hate or who hates me. No, I’m tired of those lies. I’m also done with all of the petty lies of capitalism. A brand new car won’t make me happy. I am not my paycheck. There are people who work hard, who work until they can’t work anymore, and still struggle.No. I want to be told that honesty matters. That there are people who do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. I want to believe that justice will win in the end and I want to believe that even though I know it is not true.Tell me the world can be healed. That innocent people can be saved. I want to be told the story of an angel blinding a billionaire because he refused to heed his command to feed the hungry and care for the sick. I want the following whispered into my ear: evil is defeated.What if we can fix what we’ve broken? What if every prayer is answered?I want gorgeous lies about humans loving humans. I want colossal lies about mankind’s capacity to grow. I want tender lies that promise we will all be forgiven. Tell me the moon smiles upon us all when we sleep. Tell me our children’s tomorrows will be filled with joy and wonder. Tell me those gasping for air will breathe again. I want to have faith in humans, holding hands. If this is just the beginning I want to believe what happens next will be good.</article></body>

I Want To Be Lied To About COVID-19

The truth is out there, but I just want to be told everything will work out

Lie to me about the virus. I know the truth but, you know, the truth is overrated. I want fantasy and “what if”s. Mind you, I’m not looking for an escape. I have Netflix for that. No, tell me a fable. I know they don’t live happily ever after, but I want to be told they do. I want best-case scenarios instead of the sinking feeling that this is just the beginning.

I am overloaded with information. I know that the coronavirus, or COVID-19, isn’t the flu. For one thing, it’s more contagious than the flu. For another, the virus can escalate unexpectedly in ways healthcare professionals don’t understand yet. The mortality rate also appears to be higher than influenza, especially if you’re over 60 or have an underlying condition, like heart disease or cancer. But we need more data before that number is certain. We actually don’t know much.

The experts advise washing your hands. We learned that in kindergarten. I’m washing my hands so often the skin on my knuckles is cracking. The masks won’t protect you. They should be worn only if you’re infected. I saw a young man with an expensive mask panic-buy PopTarts yesterday.

Doctors have other suggestions: Don’t touch your face even though you only remember that after you’ve touched your face. Avoid crowded places, like public transportation or Starbucks at peak hours. Practice “social distancing,” which is every teenager’s primary survival tactic. Work from home if you can. Make your own hand sanitizer.

This is all common knowledge by now. If you’re reading this you know to wash your hands. You’ve read the same stories and watched the same broadcasts. You also know something is coming. There’s a weird energy in the air. A charge. Calls home to check in end with intense “I love you”s.

The virus is spreading across the globe, but unlike other countries where testing of patients has been swift and thorough, America can’t get its star-spangled head out of its star-spangled ass.

The economy is cratering. The federal government is impotent. The president of the United States is a fool beyond his ability to cope. Cable news is a ghost ship. The shelves of grocery stores are empty. People are panic buying canned soup and toilet paper like they’ll be post-apocalyptic currencies. In a suburb of New York City, the military is setting up blockades to contain a community outbreak, which feels like a dress rehearsal.

The medical system will likely be overwhelmed soon with the sick and the terrified. There aren’t enough beds, you see. Caregivers are already exhausted. This is all happening very quickly, and all at once.

Pretty soon I’m going to have to play the grim game: “Allergies or COVID-19?”

There will be those who can afford more comfort than others. A lucky few will lock themselves inside modern-day castles protected by mercenaries with families of their own outside the walls. But it won’t matter. Historically speaking plagues have a way of visiting princes and peasants alike. Diseases don’t have passports, either. They don’t need them.

I’m afraid that things are going to get worse before they get better. If they get better. I have never liked people who say “this is the new normal.” They’re usually referring to racism or inequality, which are the most normal things ever. But what if this really is the new normal? What if this is it? What if it’s just pandemics and floods and wars from here on out?

I don’t trust the media. I don’t trust the authorities. I don’t know if there are enough heroic doctors and nurses to save us. This country knew this kind of disaster was inevitable but we chose to torment each other in ways big and small instead. Our politics is so base, just hunger and fear, teeth and bone. Oh, what cruel, greedy little fuckers we are.

The virus will be everywhere soon if it’s not already. Everything will close. Schools, churches, fast food restaurants. No parades. No music. No dancing. There will be riots but if there’s one type of crook cops love to execute on the spot its looters, even if they’re just stealing baby formula. Most of us will retreat into our homes, like everyday Pharaohs sealed in tombs filled with canned soups and toilet paper. Social media will be an endless scroll of people begging for help. It will come for some and not others.

I will make jokes in quarantine. I will write funny tweets and make funny videos. I will announce in a silly voice that I’m eating the last box of mac and cheese. In the hospital, my laughter will dissolve into wheezing. There is a high probability I will survive but something is going to kill me eventually: COVID-20, mass starvation, shitty health insurance.

I know things are bad. I know the worst is yet to come. I don’t need to hear the truth because I already know it. What I want is to be lied to. So… lie to me. Please. I want to be told this will all work out. That there will be a cure. A vaccine. That compassion and gentleness and love will prevail. I’d prefer the lies to not be jokes.

And don’t lie to me the way politician’s lie: I don’t need to be told who to hate or who hates me. No, I’m tired of those lies. I’m also done with all of the petty lies of capitalism. A brand new car won’t make me happy. I am not my paycheck. There are people who work hard, who work until they can’t work anymore, and still struggle.

No. I want to be told that honesty matters. That there are people who do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. I want to believe that justice will win in the end and I want to believe that even though I know it is not true.

Tell me the world can be healed. That innocent people can be saved. I want to be told the story of an angel blinding a billionaire because he refused to heed his command to feed the hungry and care for the sick. I want the following whispered into my ear: evil is defeated.

What if we can fix what we’ve broken? What if every prayer is answered?

I want gorgeous lies about humans loving humans. I want colossal lies about mankind’s capacity to grow. I want tender lies that promise we will all be forgiven. Tell me the moon smiles upon us all when we sleep. Tell me our children’s tomorrows will be filled with joy and wonder. Tell me those gasping for air will breathe again. I want to have faith in humans, holding hands. If this is just the beginning I want to believe what happens next will be good.