Liar Liar Pants on Fire
How dangerous can a pathological liar be? Experts tell us all about it
Have you ever been in that awkward situation, fully immersed in conversation with someone who is flat-out lying to you?
Most of us can recall a time when interesting stories slowly emerge into colourful fabrications. Your enthusiasm starts to wane and then a light goes off and you realize you’re not quite getting a true picture. Ugh… it’s such a cringe-worthy moment.
Should you entertain their fairytale, feign an emergency while seeking the nearest exit, or simply, call them out on it?
Social experts say that it’s best to first understand the motive behind the behaviour. If they’re simply exaggerating the truth to try and impress you then it’s probably not compulsive lying. Some lies may be used to avoid hurt feelings or negative consequences. These examples of non-pathological lying are relatively harmless.
However, lying can be more than superficial awe-seeking behaviour or avoiding confrontation. There could be more serious causes such as mental illness.
Some psychological disorders that correlate to compulsive lying are:
Antisocial Personality Disorder
This diagnosis must come from a medical professional and shouldn’t be taken lightly. You don’t want to falsely label someone with this disorder.
An antisocial personality disorder is a serious diagnosis. Compulsive lying only happens to be one of the signs. Someone with an antisocial personality disorder is deceptive with not much if any conscience at all. If you meet someone who lies a lot and carries these traits, you could be talking to someone with this disorder.
Other than compulsive lying a person with antisocial personality disorder can be impulsive, aggressive, irresponsible and remorseless. The lack of remorse is the dangerous part of this disorder, that’s when one should be careful when engaging in a relationship with this individual.
It’s important to remember that lying behaviour isn’t automatically a factor determining mental illness.
Machiavellianism
Here is another mental health disorder, and according to an article in Science Direct, people with a higher level of extroversion or a greater level of self-importance tend to lie more frequently than others. Machiavellianism is a psychological term used to describe someone who will do pretty much anything to achieve their goals. They are deceitful, crafty and very good liars. They are master manipulators and will lie till the cows come home to get what they want.
Sociopathy
You may be familiar with this term. We hear it used a lot on tv programs when describing a sociopath. Very similar to antisocial personality disorder, the following common traits are:
- High IQ — with this they also have an easy time manipulating others for their own benefit.
- Lack of empathy
- Deceptive and calculating
- Lack of trust or intimacy with others,
- Exceptionally charming
- Addictive behaviour
Borderline Personality Disorder
People with this disorder tend to have severe mood changes. They will take an extreme perspective on pretty much anything. One day you could be the best friend in the world and then without warning, you are untrusted and almost venomous.
Although lying is not included in the DSMV, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Illnesses-5th edition, for Borderline Personality Disorder, it is often part of a medical provider’s list of symptoms.
Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy
This is a disorder in which a caregiver, usually a mother will lie about their children’s health to gain sympathy from others. Mothers will often receive accolades for taking such good care of their sick child. They crave the attention of family, friends and medical staff. This attention-seeking behaviour is extremely dangerous.
People with Munchausen syndrome by proxy have been known to deliberately make their child ill…like seriously ill, even to the point of death. They’ll give them unnecessary medication, slowly poison them, fake medical results and the list goes on.
Specialists say this disorder could be a result of childhood trauma, neglect and/or abuse. Another possibility is they previously spent time in a hospital setting and craved the care and attention they received.
One common trait with pathological liars is that there doesn’t seem to be a point in the lies they tell. No reason, no rhyme, just lie upon lie.
So how do you handle a compulsive liar?
- Try not to take it personally
- Try to empathize with them, they’re the ones with the problem
- Don’t get angry with them; conflict avoided is the best kind of conflict
- Don’t engage in their lies, you can bring it up if you like, you can call them out in a light teasing manner, but unless you know the person well, you won’t know how they’ll react!
Yes, pathological liars can be dangerous. It could be one symptom of many that would indicate a serious form of psychopathy. However, a lie could also be the result of someone who is insecure, thinking they need to be more spectacular. Someone who is trying to impress you, or someone trying to hide something about themselves that may be potentially embarrassing.
It’s important to know all the facts before prejudging the liar!
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