Liar.

Is it ever okay to lie?

Of course it is.

Of course, it’s okay to lie. I’m not gonna sit here and telling you that “lying is never okay”. That’s a lie.

There are plenty of times it’s okay.

The more I go through life, the more I realize that a lot of life is a trap. You are set up to fail.

In a harsh reality like this, some people don’t deserve your truth.

Look, life is beautiful and can be amazing if you do something about it. And most times, lying is not okay. However, maybe I’m the first to tell you that there are times it is.

Let’s talk about it:

You probably shouldn’t lie to your spouse or family…probably.

Usually, they are capable of seeing right through you. You lie and it only makes things worse and worse.

There is no way you will ever have someone’s complete trust after you’ve lied to them. It will always be at the back of their minds. Trust me, I know.

There’s no bouncing back from that, and that’s a huge deal. You want people to trust you, especially those closest to you.

That still doesn’t mean that lying should be avoided at all costs. The reality is that sometimes, just to get by, you have to lie. Some people don’t need to hear the truth.

Another reality (this will sound wrong) is that a lie is only a lie if the subject being lied to finds out about it.

I’m not telling you to lie as a first response. I’m not even telling you to do it often at all. I’m simply telling you it is okay, sometimes.

This isn’t about not being open with anyone or showing no emotion here. This is about keeping some things to yourself and working it out with yourself first if anything.

Most of us find too much comfort in others. Telling people things does help, but most times we haven’t even dealt with it ourselves first. That will do nothing for you. You will find no peace.

Even the people closest to you don’t need to know everything, at least not right away. Some of them don’t even want to know.

By telling the truth you’ve probably created a lot of problems for yourself.

Some people want to get over on you.

Some people want to take advantage of you, no matter how “nice” they seem.

Some people have set you up to fail, and in a lot of cases lying actually gives you a fair chance.

Lie for justice (okay, maybe that sounds wrong too, but I’m sure you won’t take this the wrong way).

The reason why I can sit here and type these words that lying is okay is because I believe most of us know deep down when we should and shouldn’t lie.

Though we usually come to these conclusions in hindsight, I believe deep down it was always there. We knew it wasn’t okay.

We often feel bad about lying when it was the right thing to do. If you don’t get anything from this article, get this: don’t feel bad about lying when it was the right choice.

It’s really simple if you ask me.

For example, when it comes to something huge and worthwhile, you shouldn’t lie.

Like, don’t take steroids or anything to win some race.

How can you even be comfortable with cheating on something like that? Does that even feel fulfilling? Would you even be okay knowing that you didn’t really do something with your own capabilities?

On the other hand, if your spouse is terrified of mice and you see one in your house, probably don’t tell her right away. Especially if they will be scared to death to come home if you aren’t there or run around the house leaping on furniture like the floor is lava.

Maybe you can work out the problem yourself and not make things worse in the name of “truth”.

Maybe you can indeed fix the problem without anyone ever knowing.

We don’t give ourselves enough credit.

I knew an amazing professor and mentor who lied on his resume about his experience. I mean, who wouldn’t? Who doesn’t?

The whole “job experience” thing is a trap anyway. He lied, they didn’t know then, and he was the best damn thing to happen to that program.

Within a few years, the program had turned upside down and saw the best growth it ever had.

See, there’s a great lesson there. He knew that the university wanted a teacher with experience because why wouldn’t they?

But he knew that they wanted someone with more experience to ensure that the person would be able to do the job.

He knew he could do the job and that that was what they wanted more than anything.

This professor knew that though he didn’t have as many years under his belt, he was damn good because he worked harder than anyone else and mastered his skills. He believed in himself.

He died this year, and it took a pretty big toll on me and many others. Especially the university. He left a large legacy. I’m so thankful for the experiences and mentorship from him. I’m so glad he lied on that stupid resume.

His decision to lie? Textbook correct decision.

I don’t care if you disagree with me. I’m sure there are many out there that would say lying is never okay. That’s fine.

I can’t and won’t lay out every situation possible where I think it may be okay to lie, but you probably can name quite a few times that you’ve lied and the result was good. Hell, you probably felt bad about it after.

Maybe sometimes you should’ve felt bad after because it wasn’t a great time to lie.

We feel bad after lying because the world has branding lying as one of the worst things you can do. That’s not necessarily wrong, but it’s not fully right.

I would even say sometimes it’s the best thing you could’ve done. My professor that I mentioned earlier lied to give himself a fighting chance against a stupid system. It did wonders for himself and the university.

This wasn’t a terrible idea and I know he never felt bad about it. Why would he? He believed in himself and was actually able to do the job. He had prepped harder than people who accumulated the experience. He didn’t lie about his skills.

Experience doesn’t mean you are good or capable. It only means that you’ve seen a lot. Been through a lot. That doesn’t mean you’ve dealt with it well. It simply means you are more likely to.

You could be in a line of work for years and not have done or learned shit. I’ve met plenty.

I’m not dogging experience. It’s highly important, but the problem is that we make “experience” synonymous with “time”. You could experience a lot in a little amount of time.

We forget that experience is literally that..the experience. It’s the things you’ve been through, not the time it took. Anyway, that’s the subject for another article. Back to what I was saying:

Learn to lie correctly and at the right time, and don’t feel bad about it. If you can handle the situation, if you are capable, if you know you are a good person or the person that someone is looking for, lie. You may need to.

I want to stress that I’m not telling you to make lying your go-to. Just…keep it in the toolbox.

The only time it is never ever whatsoever okay to lie is when it comes to yourself.

You can’t lie to yourself.

You aren’t going to fool yourself. Even if you think you did, you didn’t. Deep down it will ruin you.

Be honest with yourself more than anything or anyone else.

If you don’t like what you see there, then fix it.