LGBTQ Choosing 5 Love Letters To Be the Best Ally Ever!

Summary

This article provides guidance for individuals to become better allies to their LGBTQ family members by embracing the LGBTQ acronym, practicing mindfulness, and engaging in open, respectful communication.

Abstract

The article emphasizes the importance of allies in the LGBTQ community and outlines a five-step approach to foster understanding and support. It encourages gradual change in personal beliefs, staying grounded in the present, being non-judgmental, engaging in calm conversations, and listening actively. The author stresses the transformative power of embracing the LGBTQ identity, not just for the individual coming out but also for their loved ones, ultimately strengthening family bonds and fostering a more inclusive environment.

Opinions

The author believes that allies should not be expected to immediately change their belief systems but rather to make incremental, personal changes to support their LGBTQ loved ones.
There is an opinion that grounding oneself in the present and practicing mindfulness can significantly aid in accepting and integrating difficult life changes, such as a family member coming out.
The article suggests that the initial reaction to someone coming out should be one of gentleness and understanding, akin to a cat offering its vulnerable belly for a rub.
It is conveyed that quietness and patience are key in conversations about LGBTQ issues, allowing the person who has come out to lead the discussion without being overwhelmed by the ally's reactions.
The author posits that the LGBTQ acronym itself, when embraced, can be a catalyst for positive change in the lives of both the individual and their loved ones, leading to a more supportive and loving relationship.

Can embracing 5 little letters increase your love?

L earn to change one thing. Just one. No one expects you to completely change your belief system at the drop of a hat. That rarely happens. No, for most of us who struggle when our loved one comes out, it is because we have a belief that it is wrong, dirty, sinful, despicable, or any other ugly adjective out there. And I am not out here trying to drag you off into a liberal worldview that shuns that belief. That is NOT my job. Nor my intent. I want to guide you through a transition in your life that doesn’t tear you apart because your family is divided.

G round yourself in today. Every day. When something huge hits our mind, most of us resort to that good ol' fight or flight we all learned in school. We either cannot breathe, and we must run and hide, or we puff up and put up our dukes ready to defend our territory. The minute we fall into that, we begin living in either the past or the future. The past says I am the only good thing ever, and we are ready to fight. The future says, hey, somebody moved the finish line, and I don’t know if I will make it, so I need to RUN! We need to practice techniques to help us remain calm and grounded as much as possible.

B e. One of the best techniques I know to help integrate big, giant, difficult life changes is to learn to spend more time being. Being what, you wonder? No. There is not a what. Or a who or a When or Why. There is only to be. To fully feel yourself in your present moment and find the beauty that is there. Because it is there, no matter how big the storm around you or inside you becomes, there IS beauty in each moment.

T alk to your family member who has shared this profoundly personal revelation with you. Don’t lecture. Don’t yell. Please don’t give them the burden of your reaction. As upset as you are, and as right as it feels to give your opinion with authority, stop and remember. Your child, your sibling, your parent, whoever it is, has just shown their vulnerable side, like a cat offering up her tummy for a rub. Be gentle. Call to mind the most connected memory you have. Then speak.

Q uiet. You know this process is going to take effort from everyone. To even have a rational conversation feels impossible at first. So, wait. Be still in the quiet. Let the brave person sitting across the table from you have the floor. Try to remain quiet in spirit. Slow deep breaths can help. Having something to fidget with might help. Nothing electronic or distracting. Just something to hold on to and let you work off some nervous energy. A steaming cup of tea or an iced coffee, without the extra shot of espresso, please. Whatever. Something you can focus on for just a moment while you breathe. See what bubbles up. If it’s too complicated or scary, or hard, note the topic and save it for later.

LGBTQ- five simple little letters. They can change a life. They can change YOUR life. Most importantly, when you take steps to stop running from them and begin embracing them, they can change someone else’s life. When that someone is someone you love? That changes everything!

If you’re ready to find out how you can create a loving, allied relationship with the one you love, I invite you back to this space as we look at each of these five letters and how you can take out the fear and pain connected to them and learn to truly love and support your family or friends in the LGBTQ community.

You don’t have to do this alone. You don’t even have to know where to begin. You just have to start.

If you’re looking for more resources to help you become a loving ally to the LGBTQ people in your world, I invite you to start with this series:

You can get even more when you go here.

For my personal story of becoming an ally, you should get to know my grandson!

LGBTQ | Allyship | Love | Lifestyles

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