Letting Go Of Your Perfectionism Can Help You Move Forward in Life

Re-frame your mind to see beyond the deceptive illusion that perfectionism creates

Perfection is an illusion.

Like any illusion, it has a way of distorting your perception of reality by producing a misleading impression that being perfect is attainable.

On the exterior, your perfectionist attitude toward everything you do may result in praise from others as you’re typically seen as someone who values your work with high standards.

But on the inside, you’re constantly being critical of yourself. You‘re concerned that your work won’t be good enough and that others will know it.

Your life seems to revolve around an endless series of never-ending tasks that often result in disappointment in the work you do, the image you present to the world, the relationships you have with others, or the life you lead.

This often leads to feelings of unfulfillment in the goals, accomplishments, and work that you do.

But, because perfectionism is a state of mind and not a condition of being, you can re-frame your mind to start seeing beyond the deceptive illusion of being perfect.

With it, you can start moving forward in life with a better sense of fulfillment.

Your Imperfections Fuel Your Progress

In 1978, Pop Herring, the head coach of Laney High School’s basketball team, decided to cut Michael Jordan from the varsity roster because he believed Jordan lacked the physical stature and the abilities needed to perform at a high level.

Often, our imperfections, which are typically brought to light in the form of rejection, failure, or criticism, will be the determining factor that fuels our progress toward our future success.

Rather than letting the rejection of not making the varsity basketball team skew his future goals, Jordan used that rejection as the driving force behind his workouts and training to improve his skills. Not only did Jordan eventually make the varsity team, but he would go on to become arguably the greatest basketball player in history.

The key to re-framing your perfectionist mindset will come from your ability to understand that having high standards doesn’t mean perfection. However, it means precisely that — standards that are better than your last attempt.

For example:

My first ten articles on Medium were rejected by the publications that I submitted to. However, each rejection allowed me to improve my writing so that my next submission was at a higher level than the previous. This incremental progression allowed me to write at a high enough level where my articles are readily accepted rather than rejected.

Getter better and improving often means doing things imperfectly. Give yourself permission to make mistakes as you acquire more knowledge and improve your skills to move toward your goal.

Success Has Little to Do With Perfection

A recent study found that perfectionism can become debilitating due to:

“Individuals believing their social context is excessively demanding, that others judge them harshly, and that they must display perfection to secure approval.”

In other words, having a perfectionist mindset can be contributed to a deep-rooted desire to attain the approval of others by setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves to impress those around us.

For example:

Your desire to impress other writers requires your first book to become a best-selling novel. Similarly, your desire to impress friends requires your newly launched business to achieve success similar to Facebook or Google in the first year.

However, unrealistic expectations can loom over you so heavily that you often can’t get started at all, which fuels a harsh inner voice that will make you feel like an imposter.

The pressure on you can become so heavy that it starts to impact your mental well-being. One study found high levels of perfectionism were correlated with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, deliberate self-harm, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Re-framing this mindset occurs when we can view our future success as a series of small steps rather than a giant leap. By doing so, we emphasize realistic expectations in the short term to help us reach our long-term goals.

One study found that motivation increases after every goal we successfully reach, which positively impacts our behaviors, actions, thoughts, and beliefs by altering our inner drive to overcome life’s challenges.

It’s the small steps that will give you a sense of purpose and allow you to build momentum toward your long-term goals so that you don’t succumb to the pressure of trying to impress those around you.

Perfectionism Can Destroy Your Passions

In the book “Choose Wonder Over Worry,” author Amber Rae talks about the enormous pressure she put on herself in her 20s to become successful at a Silicon Valley Company. She would regularly wear herself thin by taking the stimulant Adderall to help her stay up all night to fuel her high expectations.

One day after she came home from work, she fainted, eventually waking up with no memory of how long she had been out. Upon visiting the doctor, she was told that her body shut down due to being overworked.

When perfectionism becomes deep-rooted in our minds, it can drive us to push our limits in an unhealthy way. Leading us to hold the work that we produce to an impossible standard that can never be achieved.

In Rae’s case, her perfectionist mindset eventually resulted in her mind and body completely shutting down, and in the process, caused her to hate the work that she once enjoyed.

Similarly, you may start to lose your passion for writing when you second guess every sentence and rewrite every paragraph in your attempt to create a perfect story.

To help you loosen the grip that perfectionism has on your mind, remind yourself what your work’s purpose is and start to write, produce, or create based around that purpose.

Writing to be perfect is limiting. Writing with purpose is limitless.

Purposeful writing will allow the passion behind every story to shine through naturally. It also creates a free-flowing creative state of mind that will help you love what you do in the long term.

If you’re running low on motivation or feeling mentally drained, look internally to re-discover your work’s purpose. Don’t be afraid to take a momentary break so that you can clearly define your why.

Final Thought

You’re doing much better than you give yourself credit for.

I want to repeat that: You’re doing much better than you give yourself credit for.

Your life’s journey is unique to you. You don’t need to impress others with each step you take, nor do you need approval from others to achieve your goals.

Have pride for every one of your accomplishments — no matter how small — and you’ll realize that you could attain them without needing to be perfect.

Understand that it’s possible to replace perfectionism with a more positive mindset that’s more in tune with your passion, purpose, and goals.

P.S. I want to take a moment to thank you for taking the time to read my story; I hope you found it helpful as well as enjoyable, and until next time — I wish you all the best.