Letters to Santa Are the Gateway to the True World of Magic

Why corresponding with fairies should be a part of your holiday tradition.

When it comes to talking with your children about Santa, the first thing you have to tell them is that his reindeer aren’t like normal reindeer. That is, they don’t eat celery and carrots.

In fact, celery and carrots aren’t healthy for magical, flying, sleigh-pulling reindeer. Those foods are actually dangerous for North Pole reindeer.

Santa’s reindeer expend a lot of energy flying. Therefore they need food with a high caloric content! They need things like chocolate chip cookies, or basically any holiday style cookie. In fact, that’s why Christmas cookies are such a huge part of the holiday season! They’re for the reindeer. That’s why they always seem to disappear! The reindeer take them.

Got it?

There’s no such thing as “holiday” celery and carrots.

So… don’t leave out celery and carrots! Stick to the cookies.

If you can’t find any cookies, then your next best choice for the reindeer is pizza and beer.

These are the kind of pearls of wisdom it’s important for parents to pass on to their children.

Christmas letters

In my household, it’s become a tradition for my kids to write letters to Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny. At first, it was just an exercise in writing. Now, my kids are using it to gather up important information about the fairy kingdom for a book they’re writing.

The book is tentatively titled “The Real Fairy Kingdom.”

Naturally, they’re meddling with forces beyond their comprehension. Even though they can rely on their essential childlike innocence to keep them from getting into too much trouble, you shouldn’t write to the fae without at least a little parental supervision.

The movie Labyrinth provides an appropriate warning of the potential dangers of careless appeals to magical beings.

Therefore, you should sit with your child and evaluate the dangers of the questions they ask. I’ve provided some examples along with a star rating for each question:

“Santa, have you ever missed any houses before?”

See? Right there! This is the kind of question that might not provoke the response you’re looking for.

The whole objective of any interaction with Santa is to put him in good spirits so hopefully he’ll leave you even more presents!

Bearing that in mind, do we really want to have him reflecting on potentially embarrassing moments? I mean, if he did miss a house or two over the years, I’m sure he’s really torn up about it.

Who can blame the guy? There are a lot of houses and only one Santa (as far as we know… maybe there’s a team of them, did you ever think of that?).

Anyway, he probably has missed some houses. I’m sure the kids involved felt just terrible about it, Santa too.

Don’t ask that. Move on to something better, something that might make him jolly and happy.

Star rating: *

“How many presents do you have to make?”

Okay, that’s better, although there’s a limited amount of information that can be gained from the answer. All Santa has to do is give you a number:

9,432,897,241 (or whatever it is).

Have you learned anything about the process of making these presents? What does he use for raw material? How does he transport them all?

Nope, you get none of that. All you have is a big number. On the positive side, a question like this probably doesn’t make Santa angry because it’s easy to answer and he’s kind of busy.

Star rating: **

“Santa, do you get mad?”

Hmmm, I’m torn about this one.

It gives Santa the chance to be philosophical. We all try not to get mad, but sometimes it just happens.

On the one hand, asking Santa if he gets mad might contradict his carefully cultivated image of being a “jolly old elf,” so he might be annoyed by it. On the other hand, Santa might appreciate the opportunity to offer a mature reflection on why it’s okay to be mad, provided we do our best to control our emotions.

My concern with this question is that it might delay Santa too long. Also, I don’t really see how a question like this is going to get you more presents.

Star rating: ***

“Santa, do you basically trespass?”

Okay… let’s unpack this.

Kid, you’re taking a risk here. You understand that right?

What do you potentially gain from asking a question like this? What’s the upside? Santa either has to insist he’s not trespassing or admit that he is. Yeah, maybe there is some magical fairy kingdom rule about why mystical creatures are permitted to enter your house uninvited. I suppose it’s potentially interesting to hear about that, provided Santa is willing to take the time to answer.

But what if… now hear me out… what if Santa doesn’t know that he’s trespassing? If that’s the case, then Santa might feel ashamed and leave your house right that instant!

In fact, if Santa doesn’t know that he’s technically trespassing, he might have to completely cancel Christmas if he finds out!

So, yeah, while it’s nice to glean some insight into the inner workings of the fairy world, it’s important to consider whether the value of the information gained outweighs the potential risk of having Christmas canceled entirely.

I don’t think this question is worth the risk.

Star rating: N/A

Bringing magic into your home

It’s a wonderful thing on Christmas morning to lay in bed and pretend to sleep as you hear your children wake up and sneak downstairs.

You hear them scream, “Santa came! Santa came! Santa came!” And then they remember they’re supposed to let you sleep so they try to speak to each other in whispers, but they’re so bursting with excitement that the whispers echo throughout the house.

Then you hear them patter up and down the stairs and they try to go back to bed, and finally they can’t stand it anymore and they run and jump on you and wake you up.

It’s surprising the elevation they can get on Christmas morning. It’s like children are raining down from the heavens. I still remember them flying through the air…

Those are magical days. Your kids are magical. Your kids are miracles.

So take a moment and consider the content of the letters your children write to Santa or to the Tooth Fairy or to the Easter Bunny. Those letters represent a true correspondence with the fairy kingdom.

If you let them, your children can show you the way to real world of magic! It absolutely exists, no question about it.