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Abstract

st kiss says so much about a bond and the other countless cliches.Let us just leave the decision with the girl, shall we? The guy just has one job — to be the best man he can be, and wait for the girl to trust him, and want him enough to go for the kiss. Stop looking for the hints, or the unsaid invitations, coz frankly subtle messaging is not a man’s forte.Why this really works — First and foremost, in a world where disguised and overt sexual abuse/misconduct is so rampant, and consent is always misunderstood, this takes care of that bit.When a girl is ready, she’ll be sure to make it known. We no longer live in the days when girls are shy about their sexuality or desires. But that also doesn’t mean that their silence means their consent. So let’s not jump the gun on either side and let them take the call?<h1 id="ef3a">Let her pay the bills, or ask you to if she so prefers</h1>It’s common courtesy or an expected thing for the guy to be the one paying the bills, isn't it?Whether it is at a restaurant on a date, or utility bills and grocery bills in a marriage. It is somewhat conveniently assumed that the guy is the one paying the bill as if it were some sign of masculinity. It’s not.In an equal world, let’s split everything or have a discussion about it before we jump to a conclusion based on the norm. Or, better still, let the lady decide.Why this really works — Women are much better on matters of money so it won’t hurt to rely on their wisdom. I very happily let my wife take most of our money decisions because I am not the wisest of spenders, and I know that in her hands our finances are quite safe.We also choose to treat both our earnings and expenditures as OURS which means that for practical purposes, all our money is a common pool. Her savings are my savings, as mine are hers. And the same goes for expenses. But we had a conversation about this and nothing was assumed.<h1 id="7001">Let him change the diapers, do the bath, and the bedtime</h1>We have a 2-yr old, and there hasn’t been a duty that I’ve conveniently passed on to my wife just because she is the mother.There’s already enough that the woman has to do thanks to nature’s design — bearing the pain and effort of nurturing the baby inside of her for about 9 months and then nurt

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uring the newborn when she breastfeeds.Let’s not add to it, and also hold her responsible for every little thing that needs to be taken care of. Changing diapers, burping a child, getting their homework done, are just as much the father’s duties as they are the mother’s.Why this really works — Having a baby is a team decision between the two parents, and so the responsibilities that come with it ought to be shared.I can tell you from experience, that the tremendous amount of strength the relationship gains, from being parents together and shouldering the responsibilities equally, is absolutely worth the effort.If you’re both first-time parents, it is a new experience for both of you equally, so don’t be afraid to share and learn together. And as you do, you’ll grow together into stronger individuals, and more importantly stronger together.<h1 id="3535">He’s allowed to let those tears out too</h1>This is the worst of all — strong men don’t cry. There’s not a statement farther from the truth than this one.I cry more during a movie or during a suitable situation than my wife does. Does that make me weak? No. I believe that the depth and width of my emotional spectrum are absolutely my strengths.It takes real courage and strength to expose your vulnerabilities in front of others, whether in front of strangers or the ones you love. So next time he cries, smile and give him your handkerchief, coz he likely doesn’t have his own. And be the shoulder of strength he so badly needs.Why this really works — Again, love is a partnership, and a big part of it is being there to support each other in times of need. Emotional strength has absolutely nothing to do with gender, and we belittle both men and women by assigning stereotypes in either case.Emotions are a beautiful expression of what we feel, and everyone has an equal right to express all kinds of emotion, irrespective of their gender.For each one of us, the defined “gender roles” in our heads might be different based on our upbringings and the environments we’re in. But next time something comes to your mind as a “guy’s job” or a “woman’s job”, just think again and reverse it. The liberation you’ll feel after doing it will be worth it, and you’ll never view it the same again!</article></body>

Let’s Reverse The Gender Roles

Shall we?…5 stereotypes that work better the other way around.

We may admit it or not, we’re all brought up to believe a certain set of roles suit better to a certain gender. But as a guy now in the fourth year of a blissful marriage, I’ve started to question and strongly believe that we’ve got all these roles absolutely wrong.

Let’s try and reverse some of these “traditional” roles and see where we get.

Let her make the first move

Yes, you heard me right. Whether you’re the guy or the girl in the relationship, I don’t care what you think. For a very long time now it’s been the “manly” thing to draw the courage, walk up to the girl and make the first move.

That’s also when we bring in the big male ego into play. Rejection just never seems to go down well with men. Let’s just switch and see how magical the result.

Let the glances and smiles be exchanged. If the spark’s been felt both ways, why not have the girl walk up to the guy and offer to buy him a drink? Or better still, buy each other a drink, and not get into already deciding whose duty it is to be the proverbial breadwinner.

Why this really works — Because we live in a society where the man is the bold, brave part of the relationship who’s supposed to protect the weaker woman in the relationship and be the aggressor. That’s a flawed premise and it needs to change. Let the lady make the decision, whether she wants to let this stranger be her date or not, and save everyone the blushes of a failed quest.

And about the drink, no woman wants to know she needs a man to buy her a drink, whether as a sign of financial dependence, or a bribe to impress her.

Let’s change the conventional bar scene, and we’ll all be better for it.

Let her lean in for the first kiss

This one is often hard, isn’t it? Don’t kiss on the first date. The third date is usually the right time. The first kiss says so much about a bond and the other countless cliches.

Let us just leave the decision with the girl, shall we? The guy just has one job — to be the best man he can be, and wait for the girl to trust him, and want him enough to go for the kiss. Stop looking for the hints, or the unsaid invitations, coz frankly subtle messaging is not a man’s forte.

Why this really works — First and foremost, in a world where disguised and overt sexual abuse/misconduct is so rampant, and consent is always misunderstood, this takes care of that bit.

When a girl is ready, she’ll be sure to make it known. We no longer live in the days when girls are shy about their sexuality or desires. But that also doesn’t mean that their silence means their consent. So let’s not jump the gun on either side and let them take the call?

Let her pay the bills, or ask you to if she so prefers

It’s common courtesy or an expected thing for the guy to be the one paying the bills, isn't it?

Whether it is at a restaurant on a date, or utility bills and grocery bills in a marriage. It is somewhat conveniently assumed that the guy is the one paying the bill as if it were some sign of masculinity. It’s not.

In an equal world, let’s split everything or have a discussion about it before we jump to a conclusion based on the norm. Or, better still, let the lady decide.

Why this really works — Women are much better on matters of money so it won’t hurt to rely on their wisdom. I very happily let my wife take most of our money decisions because I am not the wisest of spenders, and I know that in her hands our finances are quite safe.

We also choose to treat both our earnings and expenditures as OURS which means that for practical purposes, all our money is a common pool. Her savings are my savings, as mine are hers. And the same goes for expenses. But we had a conversation about this and nothing was assumed.

Let him change the diapers, do the bath, and the bedtime

We have a 2-yr old, and there hasn’t been a duty that I’ve conveniently passed on to my wife just because she is the mother.

There’s already enough that the woman has to do thanks to nature’s design — bearing the pain and effort of nurturing the baby inside of her for about 9 months and then nurturing the newborn when she breastfeeds.

Let’s not add to it, and also hold her responsible for every little thing that needs to be taken care of. Changing diapers, burping a child, getting their homework done, are just as much the father’s duties as they are the mother’s.

Why this really works — Having a baby is a team decision between the two parents, and so the responsibilities that come with it ought to be shared.

I can tell you from experience, that the tremendous amount of strength the relationship gains, from being parents together and shouldering the responsibilities equally, is absolutely worth the effort.

If you’re both first-time parents, it is a new experience for both of you equally, so don’t be afraid to share and learn together. And as you do, you’ll grow together into stronger individuals, and more importantly stronger together.

He’s allowed to let those tears out too

This is the worst of all — strong men don’t cry. There’s not a statement farther from the truth than this one.

I cry more during a movie or during a suitable situation than my wife does. Does that make me weak? No. I believe that the depth and width of my emotional spectrum are absolutely my strengths.

It takes real courage and strength to expose your vulnerabilities in front of others, whether in front of strangers or the ones you love. So next time he cries, smile and give him your handkerchief, coz he likely doesn’t have his own. And be the shoulder of strength he so badly needs.

Why this really works — Again, love is a partnership, and a big part of it is being there to support each other in times of need. Emotional strength has absolutely nothing to do with gender, and we belittle both men and women by assigning stereotypes in either case.

Emotions are a beautiful expression of what we feel, and everyone has an equal right to express all kinds of emotion, irrespective of their gender.

For each one of us, the defined “gender roles” in our heads might be different based on our upbringings and the environments we’re in. But next time something comes to your mind as a “guy’s job” or a “woman’s job”, just think again and reverse it. The liberation you’ll feel after doing it will be worth it, and you’ll never view it the same again!