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Abstract

bad. By now, I know where to find listening ears from non siblings. I’m noticing these super wonderful people acknowledge my distress, pain, sorrow and my (displaced) feeling wronged. Fun thing is: I choose people with a great sense of humor to lend me their ear. I want them to listen BUT, not too long, not too empathic, not too many questions asked, please. We need to laugh, as soon as possible, please.So, although I “hate” my brothers (yes, mainly my brothers) for their awful funny puns accompanied with their awfu … own cheerful loud laugh; I must admit, it is in fact the best way of stopping my negative thoughts.Here are some simple and cheerful tips:<h2 id="c8e5">Acknowledge and add some lightness.</h2>Lightness puts your issue in another light. Most times that is very helpful. For instance acknowledge the issue by giving it a name that suits perfectly (for you). Suddenly you look at it from an externalising distance. So, it’s not the lack of appreciation you’ve got from your boss. No, it’s the expensive ‘cookbook’ you’ve bought and you’ve not used once. You simply can’t stop thinking about this … #!*# cookbook.<h2 id="50ef">Apply humor and see the new — not so big — problem.</h2>I’ve got three suggestions for you1. New / opposite thinking (find the very positive aspects of the

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negative in a problem: ‘I’m very good in selecting people who are able to listen for more than six seconds’ )2. Exaggerate (do it hugely, it’s my favourite: ‘If this goes on, then I am not going to tell them I’m moving and then they will not know where I live and that I’ll have kids who become famous. And my kids will never know they have a big family and it is all só sad …’ )3. Create a metaphor (a weird, but accurate one for your issue: ‘It’s like these cute monkeys, when they sit still they are adorable, but they are constantly on the move. That’s what they do, those busy, jumping monkeys. It’s annoying but there is no use of hoping they will change into dull turtles.)That’s it: simply adding some humor to every issue and your life will be without any serious problem.For me it’s a bit different. Teach what you preach is hard for every teacher educating about how to live your emotional life. While I know that overthinking, will not bring me any further, I find it difficult to stop. I’m not willing to laugh about it.Yet.All in good time.Even though that could mean I’ll be seriously overthinking the issue for the next thirteen years, while my sister will enjoy her laughing life to the max.Let me think this over.</article></body>

Let’s laugh about our problems, they’ll look amazing when you smile :-)

While you are not able to stop your negative thoughts, your sister could say, “I’ll just laugh about it.”

Sxuse me?? How could she do that? It’s a very serious matter, which is negatively thought over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

Let me tell you about my sister(s and brothers). I was raised on a farm together with six (!) brothers and two sisters. There was a lot of humor together with a few seconds of a listening ear. It was not what I hoped for when feeling wronged at school (I must admit I can’t remember big issues; what a happy childhood!). And even though I should know better, I keep on hoping for more when I share my distress now. Keep on dreaming, Ella. It’s again humor what I get after a few seconds of listening.

Actually, it’s not all that bad. By now, I know where to find listening ears from non siblings. I’m noticing these super wonderful people acknowledge my distress, pain, sorrow and my (displaced) feeling wronged. Fun thing is: I choose people with a great sense of humor to lend me their ear. I want them to listen BUT, not too long, not too empathic, not too many questions asked, please. We need to laugh, as soon as possible, please.

So, although I “hate” my brothers (yes, mainly my brothers) for their awful funny puns accompanied with their awfu … own cheerful loud laugh; I must admit, it is in fact the best way of stopping my negative thoughts.

Here are some simple and cheerful tips:

Acknowledge and add some lightness.

Lightness puts your issue in another light. Most times that is very helpful. For instance acknowledge the issue by giving it a name that suits perfectly (for you). Suddenly you look at it from an externalising distance. So, it’s not the lack of appreciation you’ve got from your boss. No, it’s the expensive ‘cookbook’ you’ve bought and you’ve not used once. You simply can’t stop thinking about this … #!*# cookbook.

Apply humor and see the new — not so big — problem.

I’ve got three suggestions for you

1. New / opposite thinking (find the very positive aspects of the negative in a problem: ‘I’m very good in selecting people who are able to listen for more than six seconds’ )

2. Exaggerate (do it hugely, it’s my favourite: ‘If this goes on, then I am not going to tell them I’m moving and then they will not know where I live and that I’ll have kids who become famous. And my kids will never know they have a big family and it is all só sad …’ )

3. Create a metaphor (a weird, but accurate one for your issue: ‘It’s like these cute monkeys, when they sit still they are adorable, but they are constantly on the move. That’s what they do, those busy, jumping monkeys. It’s annoying but there is no use of hoping they will change into dull turtles.)

That’s it: simply adding some humor to every issue and your life will be without any serious problem.

For me it’s a bit different. Teach what you preach is hard for every teacher educating about how to live your emotional life. While I know that overthinking, will not bring me any further, I find it difficult to stop. I’m not willing to laugh about it.

Yet.

All in good time.

Even though that could mean I’ll be seriously overthinking the issue for the next thirteen years, while my sister will enjoy her laughing life to the max.

Let me think this over.