Let’s Fight Depression Together!
What do you say? Are you with me?
Please Note: I mention some subjects in this article that may be triggering or unsuitable for some audiences. If you or someone you know is suffering from mental health issues or thoughts of suicide, please seek help from a licensed, qualified doctor or healthcare professional, or contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline by dialing or texting 988.
I genuinely hope everyone reading this is here for this reason alone: you’re here to help join the fight against our enemy, depression. The battle is real and so is the victory, but like any and all other battles that have been fought, the outnumbered will lose without help. And whether you’ve been wounded by our enemy or not, you can help.
As I began writing this, my emotions nearly spoke for me. I restrained them and used their energy against them; I turned a potential experience story of depression and dark thoughts into what I hope will be a commanding and inspirational piece for any and all who read this.
It feels morally imperative to combine awareness and self-expression with as much positive energy and beneficial guidance as possible. Let’s start with some advisement that may seem redundant but it never hurts to reiterate.
You are beautiful, you are loved, you are cherished, and you are wanted.
Forget what you learned about “stranger danger” for a few minutes, and trust this stranger. I beg you to please trust me. I beg you to please come back here and re-read these words until you believe them without a doubt in your mind.
Before I discuss helping in this battle, I need to say a few things first.
I Really Understand You
To my fellow sufferers: my plagues come in the form of clinical depression, generalized anxiety, BPD, and residual effects from an ED. My depression is both hereditary and circumstantially caused by my other issues.
If you’re like me, perhaps your depression results from childhood trauma or it travels genetically through your family. Maybe you’re suffering another type of illness and it’s slowly robbing you of your mobility or abilities. Maybe your ED stems from comments from others, feeling like you need to get people’s attention, a need to regain control of something in your life or exposure to something on social media.
To my fellow sufferers: even though our lives and experiences will differ, regardless of what you’re suffering from right now, I understand you and relate to you because I’ve been in the same place you’ve been where you feel like: 1) giving up the fight, 2) no one could ever understand, 3) you’re a failure and a burden to everyone, 4) you’re broken beyond repair, 5) you did something to deserve it, 6) you can’t talk about it because “it’s always about you,” 7) you’ll never get better, 8) you don’t want to get better, 9) you feel most alive when you’re sad or hurt, 10) you feel more in control when you mistreat or neglect yourself, 11) you forgot what happiness felt like, 12) you have to take drastic action to get attention, 13) there’s only 1 exit out of this life, or 14) you walked out that exit but your shirt got caught in the door.
There are many, many more feelings I’ve felt that I know are mutual and shared among us. Yes, I’ve been to many dark places and I’m a “repeat customer” to many of them, just about every day.
Now, to the false comforters:
You Might Think You’re Helping But You’re Not
To the false comforters: I constantly feel like a disappointment to everyone around me. My anxiety shows new symptoms from one week to the next that I’ve never felt before. I’m still learning about myself, I’m still learning about the disorders themselves as well as recovery options and coping methods. I’m still learning how to open up about what I’ve held inside for more than 2 decades, in my personal experience.
To the false comforters: I can’t talk to my family about it because it will make me sound ungrateful for what I have, I’m coming up with excuses to not be bothered with things, or I’m just trying to get attention and make everything about me. I feel cursed because I’m told that “men aren’t supposed to be weak” and I need to “grow up” or “learn to deal with it” because “things could be much worse” or I should “feel lucky for what I have.”
To the false comforters: seriously, people, it’s the 21st century. If statements like the above magically cured depression, by now there would be centuries worth of long-established evidence and experiences that prove their power. Those statements do not work. If anything, they augment the deep feelings of shame, worthlessness, self-loathing, embarrassment, and self-hate that are burrowed inside.
To the false comforters: Learn to show some patience and understanding. Learn to show some empathy and spend some time getting to know the people around you. Learn to show people that you genuinely care about them. You might be in our place someday. We genuinely hope that you won’t have to suffer like us because we wouldn’t wish that on our worst enemy, but you would want to be treated with love and care if you were in our place.
Now, to anyone and everyone reading this:
Here’s How You Help
Think again about the battle scene. Let’s make some comparisons so it will be easily understood. Here’s what you do if you actually want to help in the fight. And this applies to everyone, sufferer or not.
- You provide the wounded with the appropriate medical aid to heal their wounds and get them back up in the fight, or you send for someone else who can provide escalated assistance. You do not just apply a bandaid, not just pour water, and you definitely do not apply dirt. Application: you speak the right words at the right time to get the wounded back up where they need to be and avoid negative, unnecessary words that will either do little to no help or will even further infect the “wound.”
- You actively support and fight alongside your fellow humans, watching their backs and stepping in to provide an extra layer of protection or additional fighting strength where you see any that are struggling, knowing that your life also depends on protection from your fellow soldiers. You do not simply stand back passively and wish good luck, you do not supply the enemy with ammunition, and you definitely do not actively fight on the side of our enemy. Application: you show attentiveness and observance to those around you and look for ways to practically help those who are struggling mentally, and if you know the situation requires professional help, you assist with getting that help for someone that needs it. You do not passively leave them to fend for themselves, you do not make life harder for them to teach them a “lesson,” and you definitely do not provide the enemy with more strength and power by becoming a cause for someone’s depression.
Are You With Me?
People, we need to work together to fight our enemy. We should not work against each other or even support the enemy. There’s so, so much good we can do if we work together.
Spread awareness, share helpful advice with those who are able and willing to hear it, and help in practical ways. Be an active listener, ask what they need at that moment and how you can help, commend them for any effort they put in to open up or seek help, and thank them for opening up to you and trusting you.
Please do your part to make them feel loved, noticed, needed, and cherished.
If you’re currently suffering, please know that these feelings will not last forever. There is help available and there are people who care. You just need to be brave; reach out and accept help. Please search out resources like the ones I’ve shared here with you, and please keep your friends and family close to you. As much as your ability and circumstances allow, please also try reaching out to a friend or loved one who also needs help. Happiness always comes from making others happy.
Don’t ignore your feelings, don’t refrain from expressing yourself and releasing those feelings, and most importantly, don’t give up the fight.
We’re not fighting alone; you have me and I have you.
Editorial Team: If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide or self-harm, we encourage you to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1–800–273-TALK (8255). This lifeline is free and confidential. It is open 24 hours a day and provides support, information, and local resources to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress and those around them. Call for more information or visit www.suicidepreventionhotline.org.
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