Mental health

Let’s Cry More Often — It’s Great For Our Health

We need to cry more often

If you are like me, I bet you never cry openly or in public. Why? Simply because our upbeat, confident, and smiling social media never does it. But what if crying was actually beneficial for our health? Read on to discover more about why we should cry more often.

Crying is almost a taboo. Think of the words emotional, weepy, tearful, and cry baby. They all have negative connotations as they are invariably matched with weakness and losing control. If you are a man, it is even worse because men don’t cry. Period.

I can still remember crying when I was a kid. My father was having none of it and always snapped:

“Your bladder is very near your eyes.”

Society is tough. Don’t cry because you have to keep a stiff upper lip especially if you are male. This is a throwback to Victorian times. But if we go further back in history, we learn that crying openly in mourning was expected and was seen as noble. Monks were known to have wept for their sins.

In evolutionary studies, Darwin (1872) thought that human crying was not of much use. But he did realize that small children find it very useful to send distress signals when they are in pain or urgent need of food!

The gender gap.

As we know, women cry three to five times more often than men and also for longer periods. There are various social and environmental factors at play here. Women tend to have more caring roles while men opt for more technical work.

Cultural and social habits are playing a role too as women tend to watch more soap operas, read more romances where relationships are a key factor.

There are also biological and hormonal factors at work here. Women have the prolactin hormone which they need for the production of milk in breastfeeding –they can have up to 60% more of this than males. This hormone can promote crying.

The testosterone hormone which is high in men seems to inhibit crying. Many men who have to take prostate cancer medication have reduced testosterone levels and they tend to cry more often than before.

Crying at work.

Crying is only regarded with tolerance if you have suffered a bereavement or other personal trauma. If you cry over a negative performance assessment or have been personally attacked, fight back the tears until you get home.

Coworkers who are over emotional may be considered as unstable or manipulative.

One study done by Kimberly Elsbach at UC Davis casts an interesting light on men crying in the workplace. She examined over 100 crying incidents. A small number of men cried but surprisingly, they were not judged as being over-emotional at all.

They were seen in a more positive light as being compassionate and more caring.

What are the health benefits of having a good cry?

1. You will feel better afterward.

According to the WebMD site, there might be sadness when shedding those tears. But up to 89% of people feel in a better and more positive mood later on.

One reason is that it gets rid of manganese which is essential for keeping blood sugar in check and metabolizing fat. If you have too much of it, it can lead to a certain amount of stress and fatigue. The great thing about crying is that not only does it actually release the excess manganese but also other stress hormones. Research by Lauren Bylsma of the University of Pittsburgh also confirms this.

2. Don’t be afraid to express your emotions.

Every child should be taught how to talk about their feelings and how to manage them. This is an essential part of our social-emotional development.

The key message we all need to keep in mind is that expressing emotions through tears when necessary shows how emotionally mature we have become.

3. Our eye health will benefit.

Research studies show that one element in a teardrop, lysozyme, is great anti-bacterial protection for our eye health. It can help prevent eye infection. Some estimates suggest that tears may kill 90% of bacteria in record time. One study shows that lysozyme can be effective in treating anthrax.

Keeping our eyes lubricated with tears helps prevent irritation and dryness. So, whether you are cutting onions or having a good cry, your eyes will definitely be healthier.

4. Being tearful can help depression.

Crying helps to release endorphins such as oxytocin which is a great way to ease physical and emotional distress. When we are depressed, crying can be an additional tool in our treatment regime to help us deal with despair and purify negativity. It can be a useful aid as long as it doesn’t reinforce a sense of hopelessness or futility.

“Crying is cathartic. It lets the devils out before they wreak all kind of havoc with the nervous and cardiovascular systems. All these feelings need to be felt. We need to stomp and storm; to sob and cry; to perspire and tremble.”- John Bradshaw, author of Homecoming

5. “Boys don’t cry, but men do.” — Malorie Blackman, Boys Don’t Cry

The biggest challenge is for men to learn how to cry when they want to express strong feelings of sorrow, regret, anger, and frustration. This suppression of emotion can lead to suicide and also aggressiveness resulting in appalling domestic violence. Storing negative thoughts and feelings without any release can be devastating.

Perhaps we should try to let go of our feelings and emotions through tears more often.

“Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on. Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness.”― Steve Maraboli