Summary

The author suggests surrendering to Putin as a way to end the war in Ukraine.

Abstract

The author expresses confusion over the idea of nominating Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky for the Nobel Peace Prize, given that he has been calling for powerful nations to send Ukraine weapons. The author then proposes a radical solution to end the war in Ukraine: surrender. The author suggests that Zelensky should carry a white flag and surrender to Putin, giving him what he wants. The author acknowledges that this idea may be seen as perverted or disgraceful, but argues that it is a way to escape the dystopian world where "war is peace." The author also suggests that Europe and America should surrender to Putin as well, and that living under Russian culture and dictatorship may not be as bad as it seems.

Opinions

The author believes that the idea of nominating Zelensky for the Nobel Peace Prize is confusing, given that he has been calling for weapons.
The author suggests that surrendering to Putin is a radical but effective way to end the war in Ukraine.
The author acknowledges that this idea may be seen as perverted or disgraceful, but argues that it is a way to escape the dystopian world where "war is peace."
The author suggests that living under Russian culture and dictatorship may not be as bad as it seems.
The author believes that Europe and America should also surrender to Putin.

Let’s All Surrender to Putin!

Ukraine, Europe, America… Everybody!

The other day, the news broke out stating that some world lawmakers are pushing to nominate the president of Ukraine Volodymyr Zelensky for the Nobel Peace Prize. Ok… I understand that he is defending his country against the madman and that he showed some bravery and courage. But Nobel Prize? For peace?? That got me confused. Because… It has been a month now that every time I see Zelensky on news, he is calling for powerful world nations to send Ukraine weapons. Arms! Guns. I saw some big guns. Very unpeaceful shit I saw. I also understand that in the battle of good and evil, we need our heroes, but fuck me, last time I checked, peace wasn’t equipped with the assault rifle.

Now, I know that we have been heading towards a dystopian society for a while, and I know that George Orwell in his famous dystopian world claimed “war is peace,” but come on guys! Come on lawmakers! Let’s get out of Orwell’s world. For once.

Ok, have we got out of it now? Good. Let’s then discuss what peace is.

Actually, I will start straight away with a suggestion that can end the war in Ukraine. It is an utmost revolutionary suggestion that many wouldn’t be able to grasp. Some would find it perverted and disgraceful while some wouldn’t understand the concept of my idea at all and they would get offended. That is why I need you all out of the dystopian world where “war is peace” right now.

Are we ready? Three, two, one, go — surrender! Yes, surrender! Ukraine surrenders — that is my idea. Something like this — Zelensky goes out on the street carrying the white flag and says: “Ukraine surrenders. Putin, you can have all you want.”

Two minutes of work. Not even that.

“But then Putin would want to conquer the rest of Europe,” you might think.

Then, I say, we all surrender and give Putin what he wants. Europe, America! We all surrender!

Easy.

“But then we would live under Russian culture.”

I have never been to Russia, but I am sure it is a beautiful country with a beautiful culture. Russian would be our official language. Why not?? Artistic swimming would be the world’s number one sport. Beautiful! We would read Dostoyevsky at public squares! Why the hell not? Ever since I first read Crime and Punishment I wanted to experience that mighty Saint Petersburg where Raskolnikov was trying to figure out life. Russian literature is incredible!

I understand the pain of Ivan Karamazov and his path to Nihilism. Let’s all elevate from Ivan’s suffering together and not go insane. We can transcend nihilism if we find happiness in little things. When everything seems pointless, there is pure beauty left to show us God. It is in the spring dance of squirrels, in a stream that flows against the sun. It is in you.

It is not in your national anthem, in the colour of your flag, in the president of your country. If we limit our existence to such shallow concepts as the size of our countries, we miss it. We miss the point.

Plus it has been 29 years now that I have lived under the influence of American culture, and I have done just fine, despite all the bullshit I get served daily. Ok, true, I do work as a bartender, and I pretend to understand Dostoyevsky’s characters for a bit more than a hundred Medium followers of which they are probably 70 spammers, but apart from that I have done just fine. The sight of motherfuckers dancing Kozachok on my way to work can’t take my contentment away.

“But then we would live under dictatorship!”

Oh please. We know everything about dictatorship. We have experienced it in various forms, especially over the period of the last two years. Trust me, if you didn’t recognise the elements of dictatorship in the last two years in Europe, there is a big chance you wouldn’t recognise them by living under Putin’s regime either.

“You wouldn’t be able to protest?”

You mean like in England where the new police bill, that would diminish the rights of protesters, is now in the final stages in the parliament. Or do you mean like in Canada where truckers who are protesting against vaccine mandates are getting their bank accounts frozen? Or do you mean like in Australia where protestors are shot by rubber bullets?

So, come on Zelensky, give Putin Crimea, Donbas, Kyiv, money, biolabs or whatever this war is supposed to be about and surrender. You first, we will follow.